Is eye contact used without talking? If so, in which cases?

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impulse343
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14 Oct 2012, 6:54 am

In which cases is eye contact used without talking? And is it appropriate to use it without talking at all? Please state its most common uses without talking.



legallyblonde
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14 Oct 2012, 7:07 am

I am not quite certain what you mean. Do you mean while not engaging in a conversation, or simply no talking whatsoever?

If a teacher is lecturing, it is a good idea to look in the general direction of their face while you are taking notes. I don't know about you, but teachers often look me in the eye while lecturing, and if you appear to be looking at them when this happens, it gives the impression that you've been paying attention.

If you're trying to flirt with someone, supposedly a brief moment of eye contact that is held for like a second is useful. I am pretty awful at flirting, so I've never done this.

If you want to get someone's attention and you are in their peripheral vision, making eye contact with them or just looking in their general direction is a good way for them to notice you without having anyone else notice. Such a situation is useful when you're in a professor's class and the lecture is boring you and you want to inform your friend that you are bored without, of course, interrupting the professor or letting them know.

Making eye contact with an absolute stranger on, say, a train, can come across as either flirting or "creepy." I would recommend not holding eye contact with a stranger anymore than a brief moment - that moment where you two happened to be looking at each other, you recognize that you were looking at each other, and then you both look away. If the other person continues to look at you, this is generally considered "creepy."

This will of course depend on the culture you're in. Everything I've said is from my experiences in a Western culture.



impulse343
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14 Oct 2012, 7:16 am

legallyblonde wrote:
I am not quite certain what you mean. Do you mean while not engaging in a conversation, or simply no talking whatsoever?


While not engaging in a conversation.



b9
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14 Oct 2012, 7:22 am

impulse343 wrote:
In which cases is eye contact used without talking? And is it appropriate to use it without talking at all? Please state its most common uses without talking.

i may look at another persons eyes who is in a car that i am negotiating a passage around, and i may look at peoples eyes if i do not know where i am in a queue as we approach the counter.

other than that, i do not need to see what people's eyes look like and so i never look at them.
their voice is what i listen to if i remain in their social vicinity, and my visual tracking system powers down automatically when i switch to audio mode.

eyes are just organs of sight, and i do not attach any special significance to them.

whether or not someone has eyes is irrelevant to whether they can hear and understand what i say.

whether or not they have eyes, it does not affect the credibility of their assertions, so i do not have to search for eyes to look at in order to engage my ears to "tune in" to what they are saying (if i can understand what they are saying).

it is all a buggers muddle!
it's quite a septic puddle,

and to wade on through a putrid glade,
with just a gas mask and a spade,
surely has to end in trouble.

ahh trouble.. yes trouble....
enough trouble to burst your bubble..........

an instrumental performance should ensue.



legallyblonde
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14 Oct 2012, 7:37 am

Quote:
eyes are just organs of sight, and i do not attach any special significance to them.


There is a reason as to why people generally look at each other's eyes during conversation. The area around the eyes is rather expressive, and give a lot of clues as to how somebody is feeling, being able to "read" them during the conversation, etc. In addition, it's a sort of "confirmation" that both parties are engaged in the conversation and agreeing to pay attention to each other. The impression given when one party attempts to make eye contact and the other doesn't is that the other member does not care for what party 1 says or how they are feeling (which would be derived from looking at the eyes and making a general "sweep" around the face). If neither party looks at each other, then both parties are missing vital information being given off by the other party (unless both parties have a flat affect and looking at their face would convey absolutely no information).

If you think about it long enough, you can find the original justification behind almost any social convention. The problem is, of course, being that they are subjective, that you cannot and will not arrive at the same conclusion for one behavior as will another. Making eye contact is considered normal in the United States. In Japan the rules for eye contact differ. In gorillas, eye contact is considered a threat. These are all the same actions, yet the way in which people interpret them are different. And if you think about it, all of them make their own sense.



Surfman
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14 Oct 2012, 7:39 am

I dont have eye contact issues unless I'm avoiding someone such as a sycophantic salesman or street vendor.

I will glare intensely at another, if I am displeased with their behaviour.
It really is quite intense.
It is a recently learned behaviour.... since I am actually no good at speaking to them regarding my displeasure, I find intense glaring makes them so uncomfortable, they they usually acquiesce to my displeasure...

Its like my eyes bore into their being, I communicate psychically.... and they become very uncomfortable and stop their naughtiness

Anyone selling religion on the street normally gets a good glaring at, as well as the recent proliferation of street corner charity salespeople

In pacific island culture, eye contact is seen as aggression, so not staring when talking with 110kg Samoans is a good idea



Last edited by Surfman on 14 Oct 2012, 8:04 am, edited 1 time in total.

b9
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14 Oct 2012, 7:54 am

legallyblonde wrote:
Quote:
eyes are just organs of sight, and i do not attach any special significance to them.


There is a reason as to why people generally look at each other's eyes during conversation. The area around the eyes is rather expressive, and give a lot of clues as to how somebody is feeling, being able to "read" them during the conversation, etc. In addition, it's a sort of "confirmation" that both parties are engaged in the conversation and agreeing to pay attention to each other. The impression given when one party attempts to make eye contact and the other doesn't is that the other member does not care for what party 1 says or how they are feeling (which would be derived from looking at the eyes and making a general "sweep" around the face). If neither party looks at each other, then both parties are missing vital information being given off by the other party (unless both parties have a flat affect and looking at their face would convey absolutely no information).

If you think about it long enough, you can find the original justification behind almost any social convention. The problem is, of course, being that they are subjective, that you cannot and will not arrive at the same conclusion for one behavior as will another. Making eye contact is considered normal in the United States. In Japan the rules for eye contact differ. In gorillas, eye contact is considered a threat. These are all the same actions, yet the way in which people interpret them are different. And if you think about it, all of them make their own sense.


i derive no auxiliary information from people's eyes, and i do not have a very well developed emotional personality that can determine relevance by looking at peoples eyes etc when i talk to them.
the problem is i agree largely subjective.
i know that i am not breaking the law by not understanding fundamental social truths, and so i do not really place importance on people eyes to steer me in the right direction. the "right direction" is the one i am headed in as far as i am concerned..

i have to go to sleep now as i am too tired to care anymore about cyber prattling.



loner1984
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14 Oct 2012, 10:16 pm

I never look at people face or want them to look at mine. I get more confused than anything, i mean i get more of out looking at a brick wall than a persons face, atleast a wall is less confusing to look at.

People moving their eyes, doing crazy facial expressions move their hands and arms wow just wow, i get confused before they have finished the first sentence.



Logicalmom
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14 Oct 2012, 10:45 pm

Isn't that flirting? If you make eye contact without talking? I get really embarrassed and I just don't know what to do. Sometimes I laugh. I lose my brain. Even if it is a prof talking, I nod my head and suppress laughing or otherwise just crumbling. I throw myself a little heavier into my notes to try to deal with it. It's actually hard to think.



outofplace
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14 Oct 2012, 11:24 pm

Sometimes it is used to convey things without speaking. For example, if something should be obvious to you the other person might give you a certain sort of glare. Another example happened to me today. I asked a girl I have worked with for years how she was doing. She gave me this sad, obvious look to which I replied "that bad, huh?"


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