Is there any position lower than being AS socially.

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25 Oct 2012, 11:39 pm

I have learned to just stand to the side and observe social gatherings. When i choose to speak to someone and they respond in a way i find annoying I end the conversation. The point is to engage on your terms not theirs. Be authentic and consider any unusual or negative reaction as irrelevant.; it is their problem not yours. It only becomes your problem if you care.



Dillogic
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25 Oct 2012, 11:59 pm

In the social domain, there's nothing worst than an ASD (chronic schizophrenia is the only disorder that comes close in regards to lasting social disability). That's just how it goes.



Sweetleaf
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26 Oct 2012, 3:04 am

Dillogic wrote:
In the social domain, there's nothing worst than an ASD (chronic schizophrenia is the only disorder that comes close in regards to lasting social disability). That's just how it goes.


So we are basing quality of life entirely on social success?



philippepetit
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26 Oct 2012, 4:29 am

just get money and all these problems will work themselves out



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26 Oct 2012, 4:34 am

philippepetit wrote:
just get money and all these problems will work themselves out


Hmm not from what I have observed.



Dillogic
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26 Oct 2012, 4:35 am

Sweetleaf wrote:
So we are basing quality of life entirely on social success?


Just stating a fact.

It doesn't denote anything other than that.



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26 Oct 2012, 4:38 am

Dillogic wrote:
Sweetleaf wrote:
So we are basing quality of life entirely on social success?


Just stating a fact.

It doesn't denote anything other than that.


Well I suppose I disagree it is a fact that ones quality of life is entirely dependent on their social life. I mean people think if they can't get a girilfriend or boyfriend its the end of the world and they totally fail. Yet some of these people are holding jobs and managing on their own quite well yet their lives suck because they are single.

I mean sure positive social interaction and having supportive friends/family is a good thing, but I don't think ones quality of life can be measured simply by their social success or lack thereof.



philippepetit
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26 Oct 2012, 4:55 am

Sweetleaf wrote:
philippepetit wrote:
just get money and all these problems will work themselves out


Hmm not from what I have observed.
how much money did you get? you may not have gotten enough



Issit
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26 Oct 2012, 9:01 am

Curiotical wrote:
Stoek wrote:
There's nothing worst than this, having cancer, having a sick child, dieing, having no arms, being in a genocide, going to prison, absolutely nothing.


Oh, shut up will you... :roll:

You are being completely ridiculous and very offensive.

Why don't you try telling all of this to the mother of a dying child, or a Cancer patient or a survivor of Auschwitz. That you would make such comparisons with AS is beyond ridiculous.

When it comes to a social position he might be right.

I have personally talked to a guy, who, when 17 raped and beated to death an old lady..
just for a small amount of money.
I met him in a mental hospital garden, where he was free to walk.
He is wery funny and social ,have friends there
and I bet once they let him out..and they will..
he can have a fine future socially

I do not hopefully have cancer, dying child or so,
but my whole life was so painful, that I am not really sure,
if those pains are truly incomparable.

Mostly the dying child mother, the cancer patient ect
have a support in familly and friends.
That is what I have never really had,
even in my worst days,
and I tell ya, they were bad.

Plus..it might be extremelly difficult,
but though all people have their share of pains,
NTs in between can enjoy the life.. AS person not so much.



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26 Oct 2012, 9:05 am

Sweetleaf wrote:
Dillogic wrote:
Sweetleaf wrote:
So we are basing quality of life entirely on social success?


Just stating a fact.

It doesn't denote anything other than that.


Well I suppose I disagree it is a fact that ones quality of life is entirely dependent on their social life. I mean people think if they can't get a girilfriend or boyfriend its the end of the world and they totally fail. Yet some of these people are holding jobs and managing on their own quite well yet their lives suck because they are single.

I mean sure positive social interaction and having supportive friends/family is a good thing, but I don't think ones quality of life can be measured simply by their social success or lack thereof.

I think ultimately social success is the make or break factor in life, and I'm not defining social success as having a boyfriend/girlfriend or lots of friends (because sometimes "popular" people feel isolated because they aren't really close to anyone they just have charisma to get by) but I define social success as being connected with people whether that be with one or more.
Because if you think about it, it is much easier to cope with homelessness, illness, war and any kinds of trageties if you have people supporting you and lightening your perspective than it is to deal with isolation or social alienation with luxurious living and perfect health.


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lostexplorer
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26 Oct 2012, 9:34 am

Feralucce wrote:
Stoek:
Nothing changed... And we are not low on the bar socially... You just have to find your place... And yes, there are many, many, many places lower on the social ladder.

Homeless
American Indians
African Americans in the Amrican south
Alcoholics
Homosexuals in some areas
Atheists in some areas
Politicians

Find your niche and you will be surprisingly popular. I speak from experience

Except politicians generally deserve it, unlike the rest of those mentioned above

I think people with severe ,mental health problems e.g. BPD have things a lot worse than people with Aspergers.
.



treblecake
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26 Oct 2012, 9:34 am

Actually I take back my previous comment I've come to a different conclusion.
Peoples' quality of life can't be measured by what happens to them and around them externally. because pain is pain, if someone is in misery it hurts just as much no matter what it was caused by.
Someone might mourn over their favourite top shrinking in the wash and someone else might mourn over their sister's death and the two people could be feeling the same amount of sadness.
Society will mock the person grieving over their shrunken top whereas they will comfort the person who lost their sister, but that isn't really fair because they're feeling the same amount of pain. This is an extreme example but the point is you can't measure the person's feeling by what happened to them.

It's really unfair to dictate who has better lives than who because you can't ever be inside another person and know the pain they feel. So cancer is crap if the person feels crap, ADD, ASD, schizophrenic they all can ruin a person or hardly affect them. Really it's stupid to try and compare these things because it's different for every person.
The world would be a much better place if we helped out people according to how much they need it, not by how much help society assumes they need judged by their situation. But unfortunately that's not possible.


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26 Oct 2012, 9:48 am

Sometimes I'm thinking that I should change my sex to be left alone. It seems to me that boys are less bullied than girls.
Girls are bullied by boys AND girls.


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AnotherKind
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26 Oct 2012, 10:03 am

Stoek wrote:
Seriously, is there anything worst, even rapist and murderers, can get by. Even other ASpergians can stand us.

I think you're right and asperger's could be worse than cancer if you're born in a bad environment and have no support from your family.
Firstly because people tend to manipulate others and aspies are not good at it and second, because aspies can't defend themselves against manipulation.
You should wear a mask all the time in order to be accepted in society (see my signature) and have a peaceful life.
Stress could lead to cancer so asperger's could equal cancer if you're fighting alone against everybody.
I think it is like an handicap to not be able to develop a persona (<= click the link) because life is like a theatre and nobody loves a bad actor.


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26 Oct 2012, 10:54 am

Issit wrote:
Curiotical wrote:
Stoek wrote:
There's nothing worst than this, having cancer, having a sick child, dieing, having no arms, being in a genocide, going to prison, absolutely nothing.


Oh, shut up will you... :roll:

You are being completely ridiculous and very offensive.

Why don't you try telling all of this to the mother of a dying child, or a Cancer patient or a survivor of Auschwitz. That you would make such comparisons with AS is beyond ridiculous.

When it comes to a social position he might be right.

I have personally talked to a guy, who, when 17 raped and beated to death an old lady..
just for a small amount of money.
I met him in a mental hospital garden, where he was free to walk.
He is wery funny and social ,have friends there
and I bet once they let him out..and they will..
he can have a fine future socially

I do not hopefully have cancer, dying child or so,
but my whole life was so painful, that I am not really sure,
if those pains are truly incomparable.

Mostly the dying child mother, the cancer patient ect
have a support in familly and friends.
That is what I have never really had,
even in my worst days,
and I tell ya, they were bad.

Plus..it might be extremelly difficult,
but though all people have their share of pains,
NTs in between can enjoy the life.. AS person not so much.


I'm sorry that you have experienced problems in life, but comaparing AS to an often lethal illness or losing one's own child is offensive to all parties and regardless of whether or not people who experience these terrible things have diverse social lives, knowing that you may die fairly soon or knowing that your child will never reach 18 are a whole lot worse and cannot be compared with having AS.


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26 Oct 2012, 10:51 pm

Sweetleaf wrote:
stuff


Social stuff only matters if you think it does (the same with anything).

I don't think anything of my social disability.