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Ideawizard
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23 Oct 2012, 11:21 am

I know what it means technically, of course; it means you have asperger's or a similar condition on the autistic spectrum.

But what does it mean for the person who is one? How do you know if you have it or if you don't?

I ask this for three main reasons; one, I was diagnosed with full spectrum autism (Kanners Syndrome). The same Doctor diagnosed me later and said I never had it!

Second, I was also diagnosed with asperger's by another expert, upon which I entered Yale middle school. I hated it there; Many of the other kids who went there were as*hole who never even heard of asperger's syndrome, and the teacher's did nothing to contain their horrible behavior.

Third, I am currently 25 and unemployed, with too many ideas and not enough accomplishments. I also am starting to have trouble stimming, and it's both stunting my creative performance and causing me anxiety. I wanted to kill myself just now only because I couldn't find the dog; turns out she was in the shoe closet, behind the low hung clothes.

I am somebody who has mastered the social skill to the point where unless I tell them, no one can even tell I once had autism and now have what I can only guess is PDD-NOS(Pervasive Development Disorder-Not Otherwise Specified). I don't have an official diagnosis, as it is the subject of recent study.

Look, I know Asperger's is no picnic for anybody, especially the people who have it. And if reading this makes life seem more unbearable, and you want to read something more uplifting, believe me I understand.

I just want to know if I should even consider myself one; I can wheel and deal with the best of them, yet consider just sitting down and working a source of anxiety. How do I reach my inner savant without destroying my social abilities? And more importantly, is that even possible?



Si_82
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23 Oct 2012, 11:33 am

For me, as someone only realising at age 30, it meant finding a complete explaination for every single one of my entire lifes, quirks, difficulties, worries. An answer I had long ago given up searching for. It feels like, for possibly the first time in my life, I can say with confidence that I now understand who I am and why. It means vindication for years of feeling somehow different and chastising myself for my failings. It means finding 'my people' having previously thought that I was alone and somehow broken. Finally, I am hoping it means that I can make some positive changes in my life and give myself a break for thinks that are hardwired into me (and not a sign of weakness or faliure).

I hope that helps.


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RAADS-R: 181 (Language: 9, Social: 97, Sensory/Motor: 37, Interests: 36)
Aspie Quiz: AS129, NT80
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Ideawizard
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
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23 Oct 2012, 11:47 am

Thank you for your kind words

Unfortunately, my exposure to "my people" proved disastrous; I have one kid in my class who constantly said Adolf Hitler was a genius and another who was an outspoken Atheist, Anarchist, and Misanthrope, despite not knowing what any of those words mean. They were both extremely obnoxious and were constantly interrupting the class. It got so bad that I wound up in a pretty bad fight with both of them and almost lost my ability to transfer. Ugly stuff.

I hope I can find somebody here or elsewhere on the spectrum that can give me a better experience. Any takers?



BTDT
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23 Oct 2012, 11:51 am

My wife figured out that I'm an Aspie, after about 7 years of marriage--things have gotten much easier since then.

There certainly are advantages to being an Aspie--I have a prodigious memory--I should have played Scrabble instead of chess in high school and aced the verbal SATs--though I did end up in a really good school and got great grades. I also read ridiculously fast--my wife doesn't want me to look at any books she brings home until she gets a chance to read them...

But, the biggest advantage is problem solving--I fix all sorts of stuff that gets broken. The washer, the range, and the microwave--I've fixed them all. :D



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23 Oct 2012, 8:04 pm

I don't think that is possible. Aspies seem to have unsocial characteristics and tendencies, the best thing one can do is maybe to find your place in the social world with all the deficits that you have, in the same way some artists or eccentrics find their place. I get the impression that much of the social activites in a day are more damaging than helping for many Aspies, so often they are unnatural and shouldn't be purused as much as you may think is needed. That way you may be functioning better and lose your anxiety problems. If you are more natural, and naturally different. If everything other than your own, personal world are challenging, damaging and stressful then you probably are an Aspie. Also there are many other things that you know is different from how other people are.