AS and extroverted?

Post Reply New Topic

Hello all,

I am looking for some feedback from AS adults and wondering if anyone would describe themselves as having an extrovert type personality?

The reason I ask is that I have a five year old daughter with AS who is extremely outgoing and seems to crave social contact and interaction. Her Occupational Therapist (who we saw for some small motor issues) described her as "sensory seeking". She is a child who after two minutes at the park, beach, whatever, has found someone to play with and if they leave she will find someone else. She always wants to be on the go - out and about and doing things, meeting people, etc.

In trying to educate myself about Aspergers I have read many posts where adults will say that they can pass for NT, but find the effort somewhat exhausting. My daughter seems to be energized by it. Just curious if any adults remember being this way as a child, or are still extroverted as adults?

Thanks for any thoughts on this!

It could be that she is quite highly gifted, not AS? The two things can overlap sometimes.

This extreme extroversion suggests that she is more neurotypical than asperger. However, I cannot judge just by her extroversion. But I suppose if she has been diagnosed with AS, there was symptoms to indicate such.
I don't know if you would categorize me as an adult, I am 19 years of age.
However, me being introverted or extroverted depends on the social situation. Your daughter doesn't seem to have any such problems since you said she starts playing with kids she don't know in the park so she is probably comfortable in most social situations. This may change later as she grows older, she may become more introverted. Be aware of the warning signs and talk to her about it if she starts locking herself in when she gets older. Its a blessing that she was diagnosed at such an early age because now you can take precautions.

I'd be happy to answer more in-depth questions about asperger if you have any. I have the diagnosis myself.

There ARE different types of being extroverted, etc... And it IS easier if you are female.
I have TRIED to act extroverted. It just wouldn't work. At times, I can seem very extroverted. I'm not! Some people do dumb jokes, etc... to try to compensate. It usually doesn't work.

But how was she diagnosed with AS at such a young age? Are you sure the diagnoses is even right?

Steve

I was actually very extroverted when I was a very young kid. I knew how to read and enjoyed doing so, which made me very popular in kindergarten, believe it or not. I kept everyone entertained.

Somewhere along the line-- first grade or so-- the spell wore off and kids started hating me. I tried to compensate by being more extroverted, which apprently did not help.

I still have extrovert tendencies, but I'm more subdued now.

I think at such a young age it may be that your daughter is seeking sensory input and that she doesn't have anxiety issues that some on the spectrum seem to have. My son has HFA and he would be considered introverted I guess and so would I but my daughter was labeled mild MR and not autistic when she was little. That was based mostly on the fact that despite her severe language delays (even more than her younger brother had when he was diagnosed) she was considered too social. She liked to go up to people and she would run up to the kids and try to talk and even if they would make fun of her she would still try to play with them. My son on the other hand tends to be much more aloof and I really don't think even really understood about other kids being playmates. I didn't know anything about autism when my daughter was little so it seemed to make sense to me that she was too social but I have been told by others that is not necessarily considered exclusive anymore.

Also - others here may know more, but I read just a little bit of a book about Temple Grandin and I don't think she was a real shy child either. I could be mistaken about that though.

Sounds like you might have a mis-diagnosis.

Well, I won't be an adult until near the end of this month, but I have AS and I'm also extremely outgoing. I'm always desperate to be anywhere but here at home (it's a really nice house but there's nothing to do!) and I love talking to other's, be it my best friends or the cashiers at the grocery store. lol Just because someone has AS does not mean they are introverted. Sure that's how it usually is, but there are always exceptions to everything.

I was very extroverted when a little child, until the first grade, when the classmates started to act differently because we were all growing up. The bullies started to appear at this age, I was a very skinny guy who liked video game, and also the whole class would periodically make fun at me for reasons beyond my understanding. I was always very aware and sensitive of what people think about me or my "public image", and since just recently I became aware of the existence of aspergers (I'm 25 now) I always thought I was destroying (is it the proper word in english?) something like "the reputation of my family" or I was not up to the task as my father.

But now I'm starting to realize I'm different and I don't need to have the same kind of performance as a NT. I think it's very important to have and early diagnose, because then you don't feel so guilty for not doing like other child and can concentrate on doing better.

So returning to the point I find myself extroverted in a lot of ways but I always contain myself because when I don't I always feel regretful about it, but nevertheless it yet happens from time to time just for me to remember how it's like to be alive.

I hate social interaction and meeting people, but when I'm with my friends, I'm very, very extroverted because, once you get me talking about one of my "special interests," I don't shut up. Unlike your daughter, however, I never wanted to be around kids. Just like now, I was nice to them at school, just to be polite, and that's all I wanted. Peers annoy me; people in general annoy me. I'm always viewed as "friendly," and this is only because I try to be nice to everybody, since I know what it's like to be teased and ostracized. Still, it's mostly feigned. I don't want to talk to them. I smile and wave, and that's only so I'm not perceived as rude. Anyway, I'm only truly outgoing with my handful of real friends and when somebody mentions one of my "special interests." That's not really true extroversion, though, is it?
-OddDuckNash99-

nooo! look at: 8 Autism/Asperger's types - [YouTube video]

Just a strong Spielberg / Warhol type.

I know of a girl who is extreamly outgoing, she is not actually diagnosed but I believe her to be strong AS candidate - the only reason I got on with her, anyway, the important factor is that she is very outgoing and yet doesn't actually have any friends, she doesn't know how to keep them and mostly talks about herself in excessive monologues.

flowermom:

If it is AS, it will become more apparent as your child becomes older, and at some point the other children will realise that she has not matured socially to the same level as them, maybe by age 12. This is the 'social development' type problems you hear of I think. It is not necessarily a misdiagnosis.

I'm "not shy", although I am uninterested in social interaction. Funny, I cant think of anyone NT or AS, or elsewise, that doesnt claim to be shy.

I'm "not shy" because I dont give a damn what people think. So yes, I am introverted, but shy and introvert are not the same.

My 7 year old autistic son is extremely extroverted and sensory seeking. Social skill deficiencies don't always mean introverted. They mean just what they say. My son would babble at people when he wasn't speaking. He didn't seem to care if they understood him or not. He'd chase people, parallel play when at his age it was expected that he play with other kids. He's torn about school because he wants to play with kids but they aren't equipped to deal with him.
I was moderately extroverted until 6 years old too. That's when people told me to leave them alone, I didn't know "when to stop" or how to ask to play. And that's when the bullying started.

In some ways, I wish he were more introverted because he'd be more independent and easier to "manage". I wouldn't have to worry about him bonding with the wrong people or getting angry and bullish when people try to get away from him or don't understand him.

But frankly he is the way he is and I just try and make sure he understands certain rules about touching and taking turns and waiting.

Sensory seeking kids may need certain structure exercises too, to prevent touching or meltdowns. I make my son do jumping jacks and marching during break, when he was smaller, we did "wheel barrel" (holding his legs while he walked on his hands). We have a lot of "big squeezes" or hugs all the time to release tension. Tickling at home is another one. If we had more room, I'd get a trampoline. It works wonders!

I think that's right on. A person can have poor social skills and not necessarily be shy, and being around people can be very stimulating. I have moderate to severe social skill deficiencies, but I wouldn't really consider myself to be that shy. I've always liked to do crazy/silly things in public and I can be very talkative and loud around people I know well. Sometimes I like to be where there are lots of people around and where there is a lot of action-as long as it isn't too loud, bright, or crazy (i.e, lots of people drinking and getting rowdy), I am in the mood for it, and I am with someone I know well-because it is very exciting and stimulating, even though I wouldn't really know how to have a conversation with anyone and doing so would be exhausting. It's kind of a strange thing, really.

Also, I think it is a lot easier to be extroverted when you are little because it is more about mutual interests and play than anything else. I used to be the class clown and quite popular when I was in grade 1 and 2, but after that interactions became more complicated and difficult and I was much quieter. So I think it is definitely possible to be extroverted and have AS although I think it will be much easier to determine as she grows older and interactions become more subtle and complicated. If she starts to have difficulties and falls behind (although she could still remain extroverted in some ways like I did) then that is definitely a sign of AS, but if she seems to manage it well then perhaps the diagnosis was incorrect.

Wow - thanks everyone for taking the time to respond!

Regarding my daughters diagnosis - we live in southern california and there is a lot of awareness here. When she had some issues in preschool (just did not get social hierarchy and that the teacher was the boss, would talk back, refuse to sit in circle time, etc.) we took her to a psychologist who suggested AS based on the history/background we gave her on our daughter. My husband and I had never heard of Asperger's but as we learned about AS it explained a lot to us. The early huge vocabulary, memorizing and reciting back books word for word (and I mean long books) at about two years, teaching herself to read in preschool. I was the only mom who's child greeted her at the classroom door with "Mommy, can we go to the library and get books on asteroids and the outer planets.." We then went to a local children's hospital where they have a clinic that specializes in working with children on the spectrum. That is where she was formally diagnosed. Her father and I agree with the diagnosis.

I do wonder if as she gets older the extroverted personality will change. It was interesting to read that this was the experience of several others here. She is accepted at school and does not really stand out from her peers at this point - I mean all kindergarteners are a little off the wall, but I know socially it gets a lot more complicated as the years go on. Right now the other little girls seem to "mother" her. One of her classmates told me last week - "Oh, she's just so cute," as if she were talking about a doll or something. My daughter was standing right there, but she addressed the comment to me as if we were both moms - too funny.

I also think the sensory seeking may play a part because social contact is basically giving her the input which she craves. (Kim J - that was interesting about your son. We do have a trampoline at home and it has been the best!) She will probably be the type to jump out of airplanes as an adult!

Anyway, again, I appreciate all the feedback!

Flowermom,
The sensory input is very important. I have been diagnosed AS and I find that although I cannot stand loud noises, strong smells (especially food - I cannot work when I can smell food) and bright lights (I like dim rooms), I still like certain songs that are extremely stimulating, like "Truth" by Devin Townsend and "I Wish I Had An Angel" by Nightwish, as well as some Sepultura and some other similar bands.
You are a very, very good mother for taking your daughter to a clinic, that is the best thing that you could have done for her! Understanding is a key thing to helping AS children/teenagers/adults. My school did not understand my AS at first, and they would force me to go to (very, very loud) school parties in the younger years. I would end up shouting and crying so hard that they had to take me to the nurse and give me some water. Now my school have heard of my diagnosis and they let me off noisy events and they also let me work by myself in class as I am very unproductive when working with other people. They also allowed me to carry out my biology (experimentation) coursework in a separate classroom because of the noise levels!
If you look after your daughter, she will proliferate into a successful woman. She will be very clever, but she needs a good amount of nurturing.
Good luck!
- Steel