Weird social interaction with neighbour

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What does this mean?

I'm living in homeless accommodation in a rough area. The lady who lives in the flat underneath me has been friendly but I do not know her other than smiling and saying hello when we co-incide in the street. I find the people in this area to be rather scary and rough and I try to not do anything to offend them in case they come and beat me up. My front door has a shoeprint on it. It was there when I moved in. When the previous occupant was here, somebody had apparently tried to gain entry by kicking the door down. That's how scary it is here.

The other night this neighbour came and banged on my door in the dark with a female friend and they were both standing there glaring at me (at least, that's the way I interpreted their looks because I am always scared and paranoid of these people) when I opened the door and she said abruptly: "Hi. Is your toilet blocked?"

This was totally weird. It took me a few seconds to recover from having my peaceful isolation interrupted by someone suddenly appearing and asking me this weird random question.

When I had recovered, I thought about it, and then said in a puzzled way: "er, no, it isn't."

I thought that would make her go away. But she said: "well, mine is." Then she kept standing there with her friend, and they both kept staring at me as though I was expected to say something.

I said: "er, I'm sorry...I don't understand why you're asking me this. Are toilets linked? Is my toilet linked to yours?"

and she said: "yes, they are. Toilets are linked." and then she just kept standing there looking at me expectantly as though I wa supposed to be saying something, but I still didn't know what it was.

And I said: "I'm sorry, I just don't understand why you're asking me if my toilet is blocked."

And I thought desparately and tried to figure out what she was trying to imply, and I remembered reading this article in the paper once, about some people who were always blocking up the neighbourhood drains by throwing their baby's nappies down the toilet. Maybe the lady thought I was doing that, and had blocked her toilet. So I said:

"Are you saying you suspect me of putting something down my toilet that has blocked yours?"

As soon as I said that, her face wrinkled up in impatience, as though she was offended, and she said: "no, that's not what I'm saying. It's just that my toilet is blocked, so I'm doing a survey to find out if other people's toilets are blocked as well."

And I said: "I see."

And I thought to myself: "if that is the case, why have you brought your friend with you for reinforcement? And why haven't you gone away now that I've told you the answer is NO, MY TOILET IS NOT BLOCKED? Why are you still standing on my doorstep?" But I didn't say that, of course. I didn't know what to say.

She was still standing there and they were both just looking at me quietly and expectantly as though I was supposed to be saying something, and they wouldn't go away until I said it, but for the life of me I couldn't figure out what on earth I was supposed to say. So I just said: "well, I'm sorry to hear about your toilet, but mine is not blocked, no. OK. thank you. Bye." And then I shut the door.

When she went away, it ocurred to me that maybe she had been hinting that she would like me to offer her the use of her toilet until her own was mended. Perhaps that had been the mysterious thing I had been expected to say. Perhaps she was hoping I would invite her in, to do a number two, but she felt it would be too cheeky to ask. So I went down and knocked on her door and politely told her she was welcome to come and use my toilet until her own was unblocked.

She said thank you, and said she might, but that the plumber was on the way. Then I came back upstairs and waited in my own house, but she never came. Her toilet is presumably unblocked now, by the plumber.

Can anybody de-code this bizarre conversation and work out what the lady was actually expecting me to say?

I just don't get it. Why did they stand there staring at me and waiting for me to say....something? What was it she wanted me to say?

Was she genuinely doing a survey of all of her neighbours and going round knocking on all their doors and asking them abruptly whether their toilets are blocked? Or was it just me?

Is this normal NT behaviour? Do people always go and talk to their neighbours about their toilets being blocked? Is that the normal thing to do when you have a plumbing problem?

I do not know much about plumbing, but if my toilet was blocked I think I would find it embarrassing and would not go round knocking on people's doors and letting them know. I mean, it might make people think that you do giant poos.

I find it really bizarre.

Is your neighbour an elephant?

It does sound somewhat incomprehensible why she would hang around after receiving an answer to her question. However, based on the fact you've said it is a dodgy neighbourhood maybe the woman is a bit dodgy too and didn't even have a blocked toilet. Maybe she just wanted to be invited into your flat to case it up for a possible burglary?

It may have been a clumsy attempt to ask you to go and unblock her toilet for her?

You are right though, it is a weird thing to do.

Yes that's what I was wondering. Not burglary necessarily, because she actually seems like a nice lady though a bit rough and ready, but I just thought there was something....weird about the situation. Why did she come there with her friend? Why did they keep standing there and staring at me? I don't know. I hope nobody comes to rob me now.

I think she really did have a blocked toilet though, because when I went down afterwards to knock on her door and offer the use of my toilet, I heard her shouting to the other people in the house as she came to answer the door: "that'll be the plumber." Then she opened the door to see that it was, in fact, me, and not the plumber after all.

Also when I said to her "I just came to say you're welcome to come and use my toilet until yours is mended because yours must be a bit overflowing" and she said "yes, it is, it's awful, I've got towels packed all round it, it's horrible, you can come in and see if if you want." I politely declined her offer, LOL! I don't really want to go and look at overflowing sewage! But I mean the fact that she offered to show me it, plus the fact that they were waiting for a plumber to arrive, means that it probably was genuinely blocked.

I suppose maybe I'm so nervous about living around these types of people that I'm maybe imagining there are hidden intentions that aren't really there. Or maybe they are there. That's the thing. I just don't know.

Yes that thought ocurred to me as well, and I thought perhaps I should have offered her the use of my plunger, but I didn't want to do that because I do not use my plunger inside my toilet. It is a clean plunger. I use it for unblocking my sink. I didn't want it getting all yucky with somebody else's poo.

I wish NT people would just say outright what they actually want. Then I wouldn't have to be constantly trying to guess.

You're right. NT's rarely say what they really mean. I find it to be disturbing and annoying. I can't read minds so I'd prefer people to be up front as much as possible.

For some reason, this thread is making me laugh. I wonder if she has tried plunging her own toilet? She should have gone to the store and get one or is that broke? You did mention living in a homeless accommodation and I know not all homeless people are jobless.

How do you know she's NT?

I don't know that she's NT. I am just making an assumption. You are right. Perhaps she is not. Perhaps she has some sort of condition as well. Maybe that is why she came round and just blurted things out abruptly like that.

I do not think she is jobless. The house I am living in is for homeless people but the rest of the housing round here is, I believe, council housing. Some of the people are on benefits (as am I. I'm not saying there's anything wrong with being on benefits. It's just that I get the impression that some people who live here are the kind who claim benefits and stay in all day and smoke drugs and shout violently at their girlfriends and are drug dealers. I know that because I can hear them through the walls and smell the drugs coming out of their windows). However, I don't think that particular lady is jobless. I hear her and her partner getting up early and going out, and hear their dog barking when they get back in, so I think they do work.

Me too. I have never asked anyone that, nor have anyone ever come to our door and asked that. If something is wrong with the plumbing that you can't fix yourself, people call the plumber. End of story.

I think she's got something wrong with her. And to have a friend along is equally weird.

If it was the first time she talked to you, maybe she just asked her friend to come along in case you were crazy or something and it would just make her feel safer talking to a stranger?

Oops, wrong thread!

Last edited by JRR on 29 Oct 2012, 2:07 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Neighbours can be strange. Where I used to live in a Granny Flat, I had this neighbour who lived across the road who happened to be the Neighbourhood Watch Zone co-ordinator who took the power he had alittle to far and upset alot of neighbours in the neighbourhood by just appearing out of nowhere when other neighbours are having a conversation, he would appear out of nowhere and walk on the neighbours property who is having the conversation and Interfer with the conversation and start telling these neighbours gossip about other neighbours then just walk off and disappear.
He did the same thing to me one day he was dressed as a streetperson with brown, black teeth and a wig and old raggy clothes. He knocked on my door with my letters that he took out of my letterbox and told me to turn down my scanner when I did not even have my scanner on. I said oooh K and just went along with what he said I said thankyou for bringing my letters to me and then he just started walking down the driveway. I had been bullied by him and the neighbours down the road from me for years and finally thought he came to my door to sort things out I was wrong. I decided to ask him now that he was on my property that I wanted to sort the issue out he said No and he ran down the driveway and ran off down the road and told the other neighbours who were standing on the middle of the road watching him started laughing with them about it. I ended up putting my scanner through my stereo at full volume for three days after that but that was weird and this guy is in his late 40s early 50s not normal.

Another time was when the same neighbour approached me at night when my friend and I were about to get in my friends car to go out he came out of nowhere in the dark with three months worth of my letters that my parents and I thought had been lost in the post which he had my letters all along I said thankyou for my letters and then he walked away and disappeared then all you could hear was his teenage children who were standing in the middle of the street watching what was going on say out loud What did she say, What did she say.

Sounds like the entire family is off the deep end. They're all part of, or at least know of, withholding someone else's mail?? WTf?? Sounds like something you should report to me.

That guy sounds beyond strange.


I wish I lived a place without neighbours. They are nothing but trouble; noise and being bothersome. The good ones flee, the trash stays. My most hated ones here are the creep who threatened to shoot my dog and the rectum who indirectly murdered my dog. Not going into it.
Suffice to say, the farther away from people you can get, the better