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Fed up with everyone and everything!

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pokerface
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04 Nov 2012, 4:21 pm

I am so fed up with people in general. I have no desire for social contacts anymore. I don't pick up the phone, I don't answer the doorbell and I have canceled all my appointments for the coming week. I just want to stay at home by myself and exclude the outside world as much as I possibly can. I'm going from meltdown to shutdown and vice versa. I can't think straight anymore so I messed up some tests that I shouldn't have a problem with when I am in my "normal" state of mind.

It seems like I was a different person when I first joined this forum. I really wanted to give out a positive message to others with aspergers back then but I seem to be getting more negative, angry and depressed by the day. All I do on this forum nowadays is unload.

Nothing seems to be able to stop that downward spiral, not even my meds. Everyone and everything annoys me which scares me and makes me dislike myself even more. I just want to be all by myself for a couple of months or so and limit my contacts with the outside world as much as I possibly can. I am always by myself, but I want to take it to a whole new and extreme level. The only living beings I can tolerate are my closest relatives and my cat.

God, the world seems like such a disgusting place right now! Even a neutral and stupid occupation like wathching television makes me sick to my stomach because I hate everyone that's on it as well. I think it's best to sell my tv for some extra cash because I don't want to know what is going on in the world anymore. I have been sitting at home all day again. Dressed in a pair of jogging pants, a long nightgown and a bathrobe to top it all of. Didn't even comb my hair today so I am not exactly making a fashion statement at the moment. What's more, I just went out dressed like this because I was searching for my cat.

Most of all I'm fed up with myself for feeling this way ofcourse. This is not the person I want to be. Has anyone else here experienced the same thing?



1000Knives
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04 Nov 2012, 4:31 pm

pokerface wrote:
I am so fed up with people in general. I have no desire for social contacts anymore. I don't pick up the phone, I don't answer the doorbell and I have canceled all my appointments for the coming week. I just want to stay at home by myself and exclude the outside world as much as I possibly can. I'm going from meltdown to shutdown and vice versa. I can't think straight anymore so I messed up some tests that I shouldn't have a problem with when I am in my "normal" state of mind.

It seems like I was a different person when I first joined this forum. I really wanted to give out a positive message to others with aspergers back then but I seem to be getting more negative, angry and depressed by the day. All I do on this forum nowadays is unload.

Nothing seems to be able to stop that downward spiral, not even my meds. Everyone and everything annoys me which scares me and makes me dislike myself even more. I just want to be all by myself for a couple of months or so and limit my contacts with the outside world as much as I possibly can. I am always by myself, but I want to take it to a whole new and extreme level. The only living beings I can tolerate are my closest relatives and my cat.

God, the world seems like such a disgusting place right now! Even a neutral and stupid occupation like wathching television makes me sick to my stomach because I hate everyone that's on it as well. I think it's best to sell my tv for some extra cash because I don't want to know what is going on in the world anymore. I have been sitting at home all day again. Dressed in a pair of jogging pants, a long nightgown and a bathrobe to top it all of. Didn't even comb my hair today so I am not exactly making a fashion statement at the moment. What's more, I just went out dressed like this because I was searching for my cat.

Most of all I'm fed up with myself for feeling this way ofcourse. This is not the person I want to be. Has anyone else here experienced the same thing?


I feel you on television. I couldn't even watch the Olympics, which is something I'd have loved to watch, just because of the advertisements full of people and things I don't like. The only things I can watch on TV are old shows and foreign shows. That and 50 year old men taking apart cars on SPEED Channel.



MrXxx
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04 Nov 2012, 4:32 pm

Regularly.

I do what you do when it hits. Take the time out you need. Shut off the TV, or just channel hop until you think you're going to go crazy, and fall asleep at some point instead.

It'll pass. But learn in the future to take time outs for yourself before you get this bad. If you can manage to learn to tell when you're on the way to feeling this way, and shut down for a while before it gets this bad, it probably won't get this bad. I need to take quiet alone time pretty regularly for this reason too. If I don't, I get to the place you're in right now, and that is NOT a fun place to be.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=awhGI0_o90s[/youtube]


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I'm not likely to be around much longer. As before when I first signed up here years ago, I'm finding that after a long hiatus, and after only a few days back on here, I'm spending way too much time here again already. So I'm requesting my account be locked, banned or whatever. It's just time. Until then, well, I dunno...


pokerface
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04 Nov 2012, 4:36 pm

MrXxx wrote:
Regularly.

I do what you do when it hits. Take the time out you need. Shut off the TV, or just channel hop until you think you're going to go crazy, and fall asleep at some point instead.

It'll pass. But learn in the future to take time outs for yourself before you get this bad. If you can manage to learn to tell when you're on the way to feeling this way, and shut down for a while before it gets this bad, it probably won't get this bad. I need to take quiet alone time pretty regularly for this reason too. If I don't, I get to the place you're in right now, and that is NOT a fun place to be.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=awhGI0_o90s[/youtube]


Thanks. I truly appreciate your response.

The only problem is that I had lots of quiet alone time before I reached this state but it never seems to be enough anymore.



MrXxx
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04 Nov 2012, 4:38 pm

It is possible to spend too much time with oneself as well, become sick of oneself, and project that onto others.

Something to think about at least. :wink:


_________________
I'm not likely to be around much longer. As before when I first signed up here years ago, I'm finding that after a long hiatus, and after only a few days back on here, I'm spending way too much time here again already. So I'm requesting my account be locked, banned or whatever. It's just time. Until then, well, I dunno...


pokerface
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04 Nov 2012, 4:40 pm

1000Knives wrote:
pokerface wrote:
I am so fed up with people in general. I have no desire for social contacts anymore. I don't pick up the phone, I don't answer the doorbell and I have canceled all my appointments for the coming week. I just want to stay at home by myself and exclude the outside world as much as I possibly can. I'm going from meltdown to shutdown and vice versa. I can't think straight anymore so I messed up some tests that I shouldn't have a problem with when I am in my "normal" state of mind.

It seems like I was a different person when I first joined this forum. I really wanted to give out a positive message to others with aspergers back then but I seem to be getting more negative, angry and depressed by the day. All I do on this forum nowadays is unload.

Nothing seems to be able to stop that downward spiral, not even my meds. Everyone and everything annoys me which scares me and makes me dislike myself even more. I just want to be all by myself for a couple of months or so and limit my contacts with the outside world as much as I possibly can. I am always by myself, but I want to take it to a whole new and extreme level. The only living beings I can tolerate are my closest relatives and my cat.

God, the world seems like such a disgusting place right now! Even a neutral and stupid occupation like wathching television makes me sick to my stomach because I hate everyone that's on it as well. I think it's best to sell my tv for some extra cash because I don't want to know what is going on in the world anymore. I have been sitting at home all day again. Dressed in a pair of jogging pants, a long nightgown and a bathrobe to top it all of. Didn't even comb my hair today so I am not exactly making a fashion statement at the moment. What's more, I just went out dressed like this because I was searching for my cat.

Most of all I'm fed up with myself for feeling this way ofcourse. This is not the person I want to be. Has anyone else here experienced the same thing?


I feel you on television. I couldn't even watch the Olympics, which is something I'd have loved to watch, just because of the advertisements full of people and things I don't like. The only things I can watch on TV are old shows and foreign shows. That and 50 year old men taking apart cars on SPEED Channel.


I watched the Olympics in amazement and wonder. To me it was like studying a different species.
I don't drive so I'm not interested in anything that has to do with cars.



pokerface
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04 Nov 2012, 4:45 pm

MrXxx wrote:
It is possible to spend too much time with oneself as well, become sick of oneself, and project that onto others.

Something to think about at least. :wink:


I can never spend enough time on my own because that is the only way that I am able to get through life.

I am not projecting anything on others either. It seems to be the other way around most of the time. Others are projecting stuff on me like not being able to live your life on your own for instance. Especially NT's who haven't got a clue what it is like to have autism are in the habit of doing that.