Anyone know how to do the "Wingman" thing?

Post Reply New Topic

I've reached somewhat of a dilemma.

To the best of my knowledge I've already got 100% completion on the coupling game and have no need to play it any more... BUT, having discovered that my friend (who seems to be neurotypical but rather shy in person) has NOT got most of the achievements yet, I am inclined to try and help him.

... BUT... I'm not exactly sure where to start, as most of my success was by fluke alone, and the subject is not something I have any particular skill in.

How do I do the whole "wingman" thing? I mean how do I help said certain friend of mine ... well.... step outside the relatively limited experiences of the solo-run?
I expect... by population statistics alone... that someone here would be able to give me some sort of meaningful advice.

(Note: In as indirect a manner as I dare, I have queried in this regard... and the solo-run doesn't seem to be his intent, so I believe that is effectively consent to assist.)

I can tell you from my experience that I cannot play wingman with an inexperienced person. You are better off being a wingman for someone that knows what he is doing.

How would that help? If he knows what he is doing, what need has he for assistance?

Even when someone knows what he's doing, assistance never hurts.

If you want to be a wingman, well, if he's a beginner as you said then the most you can do is offering emotional support and giving him energies, and encouraging him to approach women. A long time ago my best friend was mine; he would also break down my social interactions later, tell me what I did right, what I did wrong, and what kind of body language to look for. Quite helpful, I didn't actually get any dates, but I learn a lot. But as Mike said, only someone more experienced can take full advantage of a wingman. I've done stuff such as taking my small-talk skills to their limit to keep a girl's brother entertained so my friend could talk with her, and you just reminded me of that one time where I had to fake I was asleep during a movie so the two of them could make out

Ahhh the old times~

Interesting.
It does pose something of a dilemma though.
Given what I have managed in life, as compared to what he has managed... in a society that does seem rather better suited to him than it does for me... it rather seems like he has had a raw deal on the experience front.
The funny thing is... I respect him. I believe his outlook is generally better than mine. SO I don't really get how I've got 100% completion and he doesn't seem to even be 20% of the way through. He definitely writes better than I do, and I actually first met my ex-wife because of my writing... so... I really am not sure. At a loss, as one might say.

well, wingman experience for me here was with a friend at the bar. He sees a girl he likes and goes and dances with her. I end up dancing with a friend of hers or all of them. The sad thing is I ended up being the one who picked up more often than not. Those were some good times.

Well, being a woman I have no experience being a wingman, but I can tell you what friends used to do for me that was helpful. Being the icebreaker and the small-talker, and asking me interesting questions to answer so that my discomfort with small talk and lack of ease around strangers was not so apparent. I have a really hard time thinking of what to say to people I don't know and usually either monopolize the conversation with things no one else wants to hear or I interject odd things at odd times. When my friends "guided" my conversation with questions, it helped a lot. They were also all outgoing which helped a great deal, both because it attracted the attention of others and also because it helped me to "channel" a more outgoing persona.

Heh, that one is really useful at nightclubs; it's common to see women in pairs, and it's easier to ask one out when you've got a friend who will do the same with the other one. I usually prefer dancing with the people I went with already, but I can hold my own with a stranger too.

You job as 'wingman' would be to talk up your friend. Tell women what a great guys he, funny, intelligent, kind (all the things women love) and to help him get women interested...

Magnanimous, can you point to some tips / books / sites for us ASD-types that worked particularly well for you?

There's a ridiculous amount of them out there, and it's hard to tell what's better for us than NTs, especially when we muck up eye contact, our tone of voice, the pace of talking, etc, naturally as being ASD, - all of them being hallmarks of confidence and necessary to be remotely attractive to any woman.

Thanks for anything you can contribute!

the sitcom "how i met your mother" shows some examples of a wingman in action.

the basic gist of it is that you, as a more socialy outgoing person, get a girl into a conversation and away from her friends (which lowers the boundary for your friend to talk), and then you get the girl and your friend to talk one of two ways.
the first one is more surefire to enable the conversation, but feels less natural: you gets your friend into the conversation somehow ("i dont know, maybe my friend does"), talk with the 3 of you for a bit, and then exuce yourself, for a bathroom break or becouse you see a friend
the second option is harder on your friend, but might make him come off a bit more able himself.
you tell the girl in question that you have to go somewhere but "have you met my friend? he's a nice guy to speak to", point to him and, once again, leave them

What I do in situations like this, where the social interaction I have has no repercussions (because you're just out at some random bar, you're not gonna see anyone again, so your actions go almost without consequence) is adopt and completely replicate the behaviours of a character that I can observe who has the personality that makes him / her excellent at what I want to do, in this case be a wingman.

Much like the way Abed from Community (the absolute best comedy on TV, and Abed is indicated to have AS - funniest character ever) does when the context demands, I watch TV shows with characters that are awesome and being a wingman. You can check out the trailer for Community Season 4 here: http://http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7LV7M_WeGX8 if you are so inclined, and I strongly recommend it.

If you adopt this stereotypically awesome wingman personality, while 'bigging up' your friend to the other people and letting them know that you 'already have a girlfriend' or something, then confidence is what you will show, even though that may not be how you feel, and that will create the illusion of you being a good wingman.

Good luck!

your job is to keep your buddies girlfriend's ->friend<- distracted so your buddy can focus on his date. You're protecting him from getting cockblocked.

Girls don't usually go out to bars alone, they usually go with a friend. By going as your friend's wing man, you make it an even fight.

The second step is to protect your friend from her friend.

Talking to and engaging her friend puts her at ease because she doesn't worry that her friend is bored.

Some people will qualify a third role, the rear gunner.

The rear gunner protects against a third, and usually less attractive girl trying to hit on the guy.

LMAO!! !! !! !! !