Do you feel trapped in busy shops?

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I was in a small but busy supermarket today and was in a slow moving queue. No one touched me but it felt like they were all pressuring me somehow which led me to feel utterly confused. There were conversations of small talk all around me and whispered comments. Yet it all seemed like a disrupted humming noise. I felt rushed when I was served and got all clumsy and it seemed to take forever for me to bag my stuff up.

It has always been like that for me. Crushing anxiety and irritation with a sense of detachment from those around you. Does this happen to others?

OMG YES. Crowds in general will do it to me but put me in a store with the freaking fluorescent lights, people talking and walking aimlessly and add some of that god awful overhead music and I'm ready to blow my brains out.

Some stores are worse than others. I refuse to go into Wal-Mart, that is the worse, but I have no problem (usually) in Target.

I hate grocery shopping with my wife, I hat moving at that slow pace. She thinks it is hysterical that she can give me list and I'm in and out and have everything on the list. She will then ask me if I saw anything else that looked good, and I will reply "No, it wasn't on the list"

resounding yes!

Yup! I hurriedly focus on getting the groceries bagged before it's time to pay. I don't enjoying waiting on people so I'm conscious of haivng people wait on me. Having a task to direct my attention to helps keep my mind off of the awkwardness and anxiety although I'm sure that only underscores my unusual demeanor.

I don't typically have an issue inside stores unless they're incredibly busy, like around holidays, but I totally feel that same pressure when being in a line, especially if I manage to be the first car in a long line of cars waiting at a red light. I always feel like the person behind me is judging my pace without consideration for either a red light or other people in front of me.

Online shopping FTW!

Sometimes I walk around Morrisons with Radiohead rasping in my ears. I pick what I want and get intense anger when people block my passage with their trollies perpendicular to the aisle so I have to squeeze past. All because they want to yack to their neighbour who they spoke to earlier or read the ingredients on a packet of salt.

Yes, I dislike busy stores and shopping malls. I have found solutions though, mail order is wonderful since I don't have to deal with large crowds, and I can do plenty of research on items I want to buy. I often find myself paralyzed, and unable to decide on buying items in stores if I have not done any research on that item, or especially if there are too many similar choices. I also save money this way in finding the lowest prices.

I have also found it very helpful to ask clerks what is the slowest time of day to shop, which is extremely helpful, especially with grocery stores. I stay out of shopping malls and stores during the holidays since it just doesn't work for me.

I prefer to find solutions rather than put myself in situations that make me feel less than.

I have a time limit of about 30 minutes in a busy shopping center or supermarket before I start to seep into meltdown territory. I think most of us are intimately familiar with the feeling you described here. I find that if I squeeze my eyes shut and either bang my knuckles together (quiet and fairly discreet) or dig my fingernails into my arms or hands, or tell myself I don't give a damn what these people think and go all-out rocking back and forth, beating my head, or covering my ears, it keeps me calm enough to survive without melting down. As an added bonus, if you just let go and allow yourself to freak out a bit, people think you're crazy or a junkie and will usually speed things up so they can get away from you. ; )

I do that in the grocery store too. If I don't have a list and I'm not hungry, I'll come out with half a dinner. And if they don't have exactly what was on the list, I never guess right about what to substitute. Or at least I don't think I do. My husband just says, "Well, okay." I can't tell if he's pleased with my substitution or trying to think of what to do instead.

I hated taking my mother shopping because she always acted like it was a trip to a museum. She stopped and peered at every new product and read labels just out of curiosity, not because she needed to know. My poor mom...

I feel invisible in crowded department stores. People knock into me and nobody will wait on me.

Last edited by Mindsigh on 09 Nov 2012, 5:23 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I get overwhelmed in busy shops. Sometimes me and my friend walk around some of the charity shops, and it's all very well, but I hate it when too many people are in one small, cramped charity shop all at once. It's even more annoying when everyone's at one corner all at once. Women don't normally wait their turn, they'd just rather push through you when you're trying to look, and then they glare at you and give you funny looks if you look pissed off. I always feel pissed off when I get in someone's way, and I hate people standing in my personal space, unless I know them (that's different).

I panic more in small, narrow shops where there's hardly enough room for one person up each aisle. People are more likely to stand in your way or you're more likely to be in their way, and you find you are squeezing past each other all the time, which then blows my concentration on what I'm looking for. It makes it worse when people bring great, big buggys into small shops and always want to wheel them your way.

The Pound Shop is the worst one, because it has so many good deals in there that everybody flocks in there all the hours it's open (it's only open in the day). And in every Pound Shop I've ever gone into the aisles are always too close together and it feels cramped, and you're right on top of each other. I get silent panic attacks when entering an aisle with too many people up one, especially when I'm following a friend around.

Also different noises agitate me, like toddlers screaming, people coughing loud, people laughing and shouting to eachother, and things clanging together. It all makes me feel dizzy!

Last edited by Joe90 on 10 Nov 2012, 6:04 am, edited 1 time in total.

YUP

I believe this is one of the circles of Hell.

Lol...that's how I am. I want in and out, buying only what I need. If it's not on my list, it's not on my radar.

Well stated!

You're not alone, mate. I'm like this myself, distracted by comments, small talks behind me making me shy and anxious. Outside I may look insecure, uncaring and vulnerable. When I am actually out shopping, I tend to do my objectives on my mind (go out > take money out of ATM > buy a game and my lunch > back home), no matter how awkward, aloof and clumsy I'm in the public. When I'm actually standing in queues, I fidget with my hands or object to do something instead of staring or standing stiff when I'm shaking mildly and hiding my shyness and anxiety and I tend to fear the negative and think of it since I have my bad experiences of that.