how do you talk to people in a bar?

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I spend too much time alone. I want to meet people. In my neighborhood there are a lot of bars, but I really don't know how to make friends in that sort of social situation where you walk in and there are a bunch of people drinking, some alone and some in groups, usually not a lot of women alone. What is going on, and how do you figure out who to make friends with and how to do that?

You just drink and talk. Drinking makes it easier. Usually there are conversations already going on, so try to say something about the subject being discussed. That being said, I generally don't like going to a bar by myself.

I'm not sure it's very common to make friends in bars. As far as I'm aware, people tend to go to them to hang out with their already existing friends and/or to pick up. I'd assume someone drinking alone would be waiting for their friends.

I used to make friends at clubs, though. I went to the same ones each week and got to know some of the other regulars. How? Well it never really happened in the early part of the evening, but later on when more drinks were had, I'd just go up to people and start chatting, or dance with them and chat, or they would come up to me because I spent a bit of time wandering around by myself (I just liked to). These were alternative/metal clubs though so the vibe is different in more mainstream clubs.

I find it is easier to get talking to people at a gig. Everyone is there either because they already like the band, or have heard of them and this is their first time seeing them live, or simply like live music and have wandered in on the off-chance. So there is something to talk about already.

Plus gigs tend to attract a friendlier crowd, I think.

my audio processing issues get in the way a lot, especially if there is loud music

Try happy hour. It's earlier in the day, people just getting off work, usually they aren't playing loud music yet.

I don't go to bars nowadays I don't drink very much at all and not into the bar/party scene. An idea might be to go and start talking to the bartenders. If you sit near the bar and have a nice conversation with them you might be able to start chatting with other people. I sometimes used to go and play the pokies even though that can be seen as anti social if you are into that as I used to like having a bit of a gamble. I do like to go for a nice meal at a bar though so maybe that is an idea just for going out.
If you get chatting to a few people you might to get to know a few people and be able to make a few friends. It does take a lot to go out by yourself to places like that but go at a quieter time during the evening.

I think it involves a lot of yelling and "WHAAAT?"'s for me. Bars just aren't very conversation-friendly.

Agree and disagree.

For what the OP is looking for, you're right. Most young people meet up with people they know at bars. Even if they meet/make friends/hook up with new people there, it's usually within the shelter of having established friends there with them.

But for older folks who go to bars simply to drink and take in the atmosphere, they eventually become regulars and may become friendly with other regulars who are doing the same thing as them. Though they rarely interact with each other outside of their regular bar scene. It's like the American TV show Cheers.

I, unfortunately, work in a bar. I am hoping to get a better job asap - started it before I got my diagnosis and now I know I won't "get better if I try harder", so I need to move on as it is torture for me.

I do observe how the customers interact, though. Lots of men will just go up to other guys and say something random and start talking. I find it extremely odd!! ! However, it is quite common. I am a female, so I think it is even stranger for me.

There are definitely a group of regulars who become friends and chat. Perhaps if you go to the same bar each week people will start to recognise your face and might befriend you. Men also offer to buy each other drinks - in a heterosexual way. Somehow, they can tell the difference.

In some ways, it kind of looks like men do similar things like they would if trying to get to know a woman - buy a drink, and start a random conversation.

You could find other men who are sitting on their own and try talking with them. Bear in mind, there are a lot of strange people at bars, particularly when drunk. Many don't wish to engage in intellectual conversation either. Many don't have manners. Blokes are a mystery to me, though I get along with AS men ok.

As for approaching women, that is a whoooole other story

I cant speak much about going up to a chick and giving her your line cause that is something that I just dont have any idea of the way to make oneself get up and do that. With that said, Ive been to quite a few bars, both alone and with a friend or friends and without someone there with me as my "WingMan" theres not much of a chance of me talking to a chick except maybe the bartender.

In the times in my career, I like to call it a career of drinking, if Im at a bar, pool hall, whatever with a buddy or a couple of friends we get playing some pool and depending on how busy the bar is there is a decent amount of interactions with other people. I have a couple of good friends that I can count on for just about anything that I met in one bar or another but as far as girls go I dont have to directly approach them I can talk to her with no problems but if I have to move to approach her its extremely doubtful I would even get close to moving. My sad sad life.

How to talk to people in a bar? That's one hell of a good question, because I can never hear a damn thing anyone says to me unless they're literally screaming RIGHT into my ear, and even then, I can't hear s**t half the time because THE MUSIC IS WAY TOO LOUD.

Anyway, I pretty much never go to bars, so I have no idea. I've never approached a girl at random to try to chat her up.

Ok, I went to a music place and there were three bands and there was a lot of talking between the sets, but I was too nervous to talk to anyone. Maybe I should try again, because a lot of my nervousness was from the new environment.

just say ''hey I buy you some beer''

I like to shoot pool, and when I go to the same bar often enough I tend to just sort of fall in with the other regular players there. It's not something you can force or anything, but even if you just sit down and order a drink someone will usually strike up a conversation with you. I made the mistake of answering a car related conversational advance by observing the large number of Tesla roadsters in my town, only discover I was drinking with an electrical engineer who wanted nothing more than to talk my ear off about electrical loads and power grid design for the next 45 minutes... Very AS, in retrospect, but then alcohol tends to level the playing field in that regard.

Just a thought, have you tried Meetup.com? They have groups centred around all sorts of interests and they arrange real-life get-togethers. Some are pub-based, other groups arrange trips to museums, galleries etc. It's really intended for those who are new in town, but anyone can join, and the beauty of it is that everyone is there to make friends so it's an environment where it is natural to chat to strangers.

I'd struggle to chat to a stranger in a bar, but I've been to quite a few meetup events and felt comfortable there.