The advice "keep a low profile" sucks!

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Have any of you out there also gotten the advice "just keep a low profile"? I've gotten my share of it in the past, mostly pre-AS diagnosis (which was in 2001), from people who seemed totally clueless as to how I should approach my challenges with others in a given environment, be it school, shared living situations, or the workplace. They are really ignoring a fundamental law (or should I say, flaw) of the human condition, that groups tend to target those who stand out, and gossip is ingrained in human group needs. So the paradox is, the more you try to remain "invisible" and keep a low profile, the more you actually stand out!!

I've still got memories of switching cities and schools, to a new high school - after enduring severe bullying at the old one - and my stepmom just kept insisting to me to "keep a low profile". Sure, I don't intend on going the opposite way, and being Mr. Popular b/c that's a recipe for failure - but there's got to be a happy medium somewhere. Same with post-secondary school where I was advise to just come and go, and keep a low profile in a shared living house. Then the same deal with the workplace, although I often received conflicting advice about interacting more.

So I challenged this advice or questioned it due to the irrational way it failed to address the goal of not being perceived as "different" or "special". Somehow, I as the naive Aspie was not supposed to know more than them on social conduct so it was improper for me to challenge their advice. *Sigh*

Well, I'd say just "Being yourself" and not conforming to what NTs say is what works best. I'm usually running around during lunch at school - I tend to stand out quite a lot.

The only advice I can give you could possibly be "Stand out so much that people are too busy wondering what the hell you're doing to annoy you, or for people to stand up for you if others end up messing with you."

Just try to be yourself. Naturally, you'll come out weird, but as long as you're not mistaken (To the majority) as some mean kid, you'll probably end up with at least a neutral state.

I rebel against such advice by being as flamboyant and dandified ad possible. Rebels come in many different forms.

The low profile thing would probably work, if you never had physical needs, or weren't forced to share anything.

As for facing people, I had read advice to take the high road. They can construe this as being snotty. I try to be objective. They act as though it's cold. If you're self-deprecating, that's just asking for it.

I don't believe there's such a thing as being a good liar, around any listener with a keen memory. They will always eventually stick their foot in their mouths, or volunteer damaging things which I don't really need to hear, were it my intention to subvert the people around me.

Hard to keep a low profile when you don't follow the same mannerisms that a NT does, thus standing out to them. But i found it better to avoid causing a scene though this is hard to do when you get provoked.