how to handle death?

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someone i knew has died.

Hi Ronpl,

I probably can't help much due to limited experience of my own, but it might help others to advise you if you elaborate on what kind of advice/support/feedback you're looking for.

E.g. How are things going so far?

It depends. There is probably a big difference between losing a grand parent in their 80s versus losing a younger friend from untimely death.

I once lost a high school friend to very unexpected suicide. I was mostly confused because I didn't expect anything like that. In the end I was glad to have known him and hoped he had found peace.

I'll add that I did have a few very strange vivid dreams afterward about him. I dreamt I was in a crowded placed and some turned around and it was him. I tried to talk to them and ask what happened and he just looked confused or said there must be a misunderstanding. I'm just relating this because it was a part of how I seemed to deal with it.

If you're asking how to handle it for yourself, remember the good things that the person brought into your life.

If you're asking how to handle it with others, remember that NT's need to talk about it. Sometimes at great length. This is healthy for them to do, even if it seems illogical to rehash the same story for the umpteenth zillionth time -- I find it helpful to view "talking about it" as an NT stim. The best thing you can do for your NT friends is to patiently listen while they talk about it.

For a funeral, wear your dressiest "Sunday" garments, preferably in dark somber colors

it's a guide that tended to attend the club i'm attending in the past.

she once told me,
you will become 'adam gadol' one day
adam gadol is a term that i can translate as 'amazing person' while meaning 'big person'

she was 50+ and heard that she died while sleeping

i afraid to die while sleeping too

let's hope all the dead had found peace and all living humans will find peace in life too.
hope that only good can happen and that we aren't monsters
let;s hope for satisfaction but without any bad
let's hope that all people will have the things they need very soon

and hope that it isn't only me or only you which are actually exist - i mean that i want to hope that it isn't a dream and only me exist. but how can i know i don't want it that way?

In most places, dying in ones 50's or 60's is still considered young. An unexpected loss is difficult tot deal with, it is hard to understand that a person is gone, and you will no longer have the opportunity to see them again.

I have lost my grandmother 12ish years ago, my mom 2 months ago, my adoptive grandpa 2 years ago, and a few friends.

Everyone deals with coping differently. Some talk about memories good and bad, and how the person affected their life, I research the cause of death in great detail as that helps me with the permanence of the situation. You may or may not find yourself crying, either way is ok, even if the people around you are not doing the same. I found it therapeutic to beat a punching bag at the local gym. Each death seems to affect a person differently. You may or may not feel guilt for having uncharitable thoughts about the person in the past or in the present, you do not need to feel guilty about that, as every person is not perfect.

If you need to talk about anything feel free to pm me.

There is no correct way to handle death. Everyone deals with it differently.

One way to show your respect is to attend the memorial. Just being there would be a signal to friends and family that you cared. (This works in the USA, I was not sure if you are in the USA)

Hard to say. First time is definitely the worst. I lost my dad when I was about 5. It never goes away. But it gets easier over time to live with when people die.

But its good to think about the good good times with that person and such. But ofcourse what you believe in also might make it easier.

Personally I don't believe in god or any of that. That was over back when I lost my dad. The worst part about people.dying is the lost experiences and such you would have had.

Coming to terms with what has happened is important for me it wasn't talking to my mom or anyone. It.was just trying to.think.about everything and deal with.it best as possible and.accept it. But isn't not easy.

I noticed the mention of being afraid of dying. I get a horrible tension all over when I think about it, and sometimes just watching Futurama on TV will inspire the dread. (I won't be here in the year the show is supposed to be happening.)
What has helped me at times is reading books about near-death experiences and about the process of dying. Heaven is for Real was especially calming.

If it's someone you know, it helps to grieve accordingly the way you usually do.

If it's one of your favourite celebrities, don't tell your mum or else you'll get the cold shoulder.

Personally I don't grieve anymore.

it was a guide at the mental issues club i'm at,
she said to me interesting things when she was alive

All you can do is just feel what you are feeling. It seems to me that you are asking about that side of it, not the practicalities of funerals and talking about it.

Your grief will come out when and if it's ready, providing you aren't actively bottling it up. If it's a question of not knowing the person that well, or they were someone in your life that you didn't have strong emotion for and therefore not being sure how you are supposed to feel, then chances are you won't have any strong emotions, you might just feel a bit weird, like something is missing or has changed that you have to get used to.

Really? That's not the case for all mothers. I can tell my Mom and she always understands. I guess everyone's mom is different...