During Meltdowns you can't avoid, what happens to you?

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Skip if you want: Everybody just stopped paying attention to my other thread. Kind of disappointing. Am I annoying you guys? The thing is I want to bring AS up with my psych but I don't trust her just yet and I think her, and my parents, will think I made it up because I discovered it over the internet (<They hate when I do this). I also want to check that I'm not understanding the diagnostic rules and certain things wrong by checking my experiences with you guys, so I'll be making a few different topics with questions.

Before where I lived I could I avoid meltdowns by going to the bathroom, going to the library, hiding in the bookshop at the mall, going to my room, etc. I didn't do it consciously. I just knew I was getting overloaded and deafened by the sounds. Occasionally I would have meltdowns, which I confused for panic attacks or my migraines acting up, and this was usually at parties.

Where I live now I can't avoid all the people and the stress is high so my tolerance level is like 1. So long bus rides with lots of noise have triggered them, also too many people, etc, and since I can't escape I've been having really really really bad meltdowns, plus everyone wants to "help" me or complain to me and not leave me alone...

My meltdowns: I noticed I'll sort of shut off like completely. First, before the meltdown I'll stim like crazy (both legs shaking, pull at my hair or rub my hands on my face < I think this is also a stim for me). And if an argument triggered the meltdown I'll start responding less and less. Like I think of a million disconnected words that I can't seem to form into a sentence, but I'm slow to say anything and think/process what we're arguing. Until I just stop talking and just stop stimming completely. I feel like I'm trapped screaming in anger inside my body. I'll walk away after a while and sit in the quietest place possible. I still won't stim (I feel just too depressed and tired to do it), but occasionally my mom (she's one of the few person's whose touch doesn't bother me because her body temperature is similar to mine and her hands don't feel too hot or too cold) can tell I've just lost it and come rub/massage my hands, and it's like she's stimming for me? And that really helps me.

Does that sound similar? What do you experience?

"shutting off" is a good way to describe it for me as well. I don't do the classic autism stimming, as such. What I will do is attempt to leave whatever situation is distressing immediately. If I cannot escape physically, I will do so by shutting off sensory input (closing eyes, plugging ears).

In cases of severe depression or circular OCD agitation/obsession things get more difficult. If I am home, I'll sit in a dark room with foam earplugs in my ears. When that doesn't work I may self-harm. I am doing my best to decrease my reliance on that coping mechanism though.

I become more agitated when I have a meltdown and it usually culminates in destructive behaviour. Medication has helped me with this.

It sounds like you are coping very well - and your Mom sounds great! No one can get near me when I'm in that phase.

I think you should talk to your doctor just the way you posted hear. Describe your symptoms and experiences - then leave the diagnosis to him/her.

The bathroom! This is part of the reason I know I've had this since I was born. I hid out in the bathroom as young as when I was 5 (maybe 4) in preschool when I became overwhelmed (I cannot remember why). And, recently (due to a course of events and medication running out) I did the same thing and it helped quite a bit. I just stepped aside, went to the bathroom, closed the door and had a few minutes alone in there. I actually don't often post in these threads, since I rarely have meltdowns these days, but a bunch of unfortunate things led to it happening again.

Well if you read my previous thread I'm having serious problems with everyone because of what I believe is AS (for example my mom helps me but she admitted the other day many times I've gotten angry/panicked aka had a meltdown, she didn't understand them, even when I explained what bothered me),it's like they're not believing what I'm experiencing/experienced. They've lied about understanding everything.

Most of the times I know I don't like something, therefore avoid it, but I don't analyze why. Now I'm doing it and I'm going to talk to the psych about those things at least. Maybe she'll pick up on something.

The weird thing is that my mom never told me about any meltdowns as a little kid. I was always just very very angry according to her, and absolutely hated social things, acting on stage, etc. I remember only once I was sick and had to do some play and it was loud and I just totally just started crying everywhere. I know childhood stuff is important but since I don't remember apart from very specific clear memories, I have to ask my mom... and we're not on asking terms right now. She'll suspect somethings off.

Wow... the bathroom seems to be a popular place. I spent most of my time in elementary school there. As for the question, I have "shutdowns" as well as meltdowns.

Shutdowns tend to happen with me because of too much stimulation. It's sensory overload. It's caused by repetitive loud noises, flashing lights, crowds cheering, or even too many noises/lights/things happening at once. I regress when I am having a shutdown. I start talking/walking/functioning like a child. It becomes impossible for me communicate because I become unable to identify my thoughts and emotions. I bawl like a baby over the smallest things. I lose my entire sense of balance. Those types of things. I no longer attend fireworks shows because I have meltdowns because of them. My dad had to actually carry me home one time because I was so messed up.

My meltdowns are "normal" (I know that isn't helpful). They involve a lot of crying, being overwhelmed by my own emotions and unable to vent them. I get the urge to eat lots, or destroy things to get rid of whatever I'm feeling. Solitude is important to me when I'm having a meltdown, and they can be sparked by almost anything. I once walked into a busy restaurant and proceeded to meltdown because we had to order by talking with several employees (it was a Dim-something restaurant, Aspie's worst nightmare).

For me, I can feel a build-up of either rage or sensory overload (they often feel the same to me...or maybe I just can't identify them properly, as I do have trouble with that). I don't have "anger problems", but it feels the same as when I am angry and I can feel myself get hot on the inside. It might be a bit of crying or yelling BEFORE the meltdown, but once I reach the breaking point, it is uncontrollable screaming and/or sobbing. Nothing seems tangible, and I am kind of in my own intense world at that moment...in a bad way...and I can't stop it. There have been times when I've injured myself during meltdowns (smashing head against wall, clawing my arms until I am bleeding and ultimately scarred). These are all uncontrollable to me, but probably a subconscious way of me trying to calm myself down (or just another way to let it all out...I really have no idea). Anyway, they last until I am exhausted and have no more strength left to continue the meltdown, and then I have to rest. As it is building up, I do feel like I am starting to shut-down, but it is not a full shut-down like many people describe here. It's more like the world seems a bit more distant, except for the triggers which seem intensified. I am not really completely alert to my surroundings, but somewhat I am until the meltdown hits entirely. Sometimes they take a long time to build up, other times it happens very quickly. If people try to stop my meltdowns, they always get worse.

with me I start to have negative self hating thoughts manifest and have strong urges to hurt myself like biting hitting and scratching myself as well as hitting my head against a wall. Then I sink into deep depression and try to shut myself away for a while until it subsides.Sometimes I get a meltdown first then a shut down othertimes I have a shutdown then it slowly becomes a meltdown. Its not fun at all.

meltdowns for me happen on blue moons so...

shutdowns. there have been periods of time when they happened everyday for weeks on end. i should say that i was in a very overstimulating and generally 'stressful' job. it was dangerous too, ive been told. anyway, i wouldnt necessarily 'feel' anxious or 'feel' scared, but the stress that my body was feeling coupled with the sensory stuff, which never quits you know? i would just 'shutdown.'

back before i thought i had AS, i didnt know what was going on. i described it as being paralyzed. i couldnt read things on my computer and my fingers wouldnt type and when we were out in 'the field' i couldnt talk and sometimes i couldnt hear. couldnt hear for gods sake. when i would go home, it seemed to follow me easily as i tried not to dump the stress by self-injuring and i hadnt applied any of the AS coping skills (i just recently bought my first ipod with headphones, for example) i couldnt do anything at home. i remember asking my best friend for help in doing small tasks, but not for her to do them for me or show me how because i really just could not do them. heh, it was hard to get out of a chair when it was at its worst so maybe the proprioception was over loaded as well.

anyway, started with the shutdowns for sure (in retrospect) which lead to (obviously) major depression, but before the depression set in even, i just found it so 'odd' by my old standards that i just would become unable to function in my old work environment.

This question seems to be coming up a lot lately. My answer is here: http://crowdedhead.blog.com/2012/11/01/the-meltdown/

For some reason, I have such a hard time understanding what 'meltdowns' actually are...like, despite reading all of these replies and other replies in other topics, I can't quite comprehend it for some reason. Is it like a panic attack for some people? I've had panic attacks due to overstimulation in an extremely crowded-place but I guess I'd describe it as just that: a panic attack and not a meltdown. I've also had many 'temper tantrums' I guess, except more applicable to being an adult which usually entail anger, stimming, etc. but still, I wouldn't call that a meltdown. Can anyone give me a very general/broad definition of what a meltdown is for people with Asperger's?

:What will happen to me when I have a meltdown is, like a lot of people have already posted, I will mentally shut down and I will start staring--some people have told me that my face will become totally blank and I will not respond to anyone when they try to talk to me. This has happened on every job I've held because I can't handle the environment around me, i.e., too many customers, too noisy, etc.

If I have AS, than I'm pretty sure everyone will agree with the following distinctions, especially from what I've read. If you guys don't, please correct me. Don't want to give wrong information.

For a long while I thought my meltdowns were panic attacks... but once I started to have severe needle phobia, I had real panic attacks at doctor's offices. And let me tell you, they felt and were insanely different (for me).

AS Meltdowns I think are caused by "too much" usually too much noise, lights, etc, and sometimes accompanied by too much emotions. So much that we can't process it and thus shut down (can't think/respond through the haze) and want as little stimulus as possible. Kotshka explained really well how it feels to be overstimulated. My ears too started to hurt real bad. I start to want to cry. I don't go crazy though once I escape, but I feel the violent reactions people have (banging their heads) are usually an effort to create quiet / make things stop / let go of all the stimulation (correct me if I'm wrong, but that's what I understood).

Panic Attacks are usually caused by too much anxiety or more common fear.. I think with AS we tend to meltdown with anxiety instead of have a panic attack. At least, for me. Usually it's anxiety over something and then too much noise in the background will make me meltdown. Which is way different than my panic attacks with my phobia. My phobia feels like a really intense fight or flight response (with meltdowns I want to go away but it doesn't feel as severe as this) and I'll scream, shout, anything, just become this monster to get away from my fear. I'm not overstimulated, I'm intensely afraid and processing the fear just fine. I feel like I'm going to die and I'll do anything, anything at all to escape. It's accompanied by severe shaking too, sometimes sweating, crying, hyperventilating. Drops in blood pressure for me (needle phobia is the only one that causes a drop, all others cause it to rise). Look up wikipedia for a complete list. Somethings overlap with meltdowns (such as crying/lashing out), but I think it's for different reasons.

Depending on the situation these might look really similar, and some people with AS lash out so it might really look like a panic attack. Anyways you might have confused them. I did until I had both. Hope that clears it up a bit. You might want to try googling "AS Meltdowns v Panic Attacks" there's a few articles.

YES, the toilet. The aspie's haven in times of overstimulated distress. I go in to the toilet after pretty much every lesson at college for at least a few minutes; even if I don't need to do anything I will just sit down and relax until the pressure I feel behind my eyes is gone. I wonder why the bathroom is so popular for people with AS? Could it be because it is the ONE room where, since we have become able to tend to ourselves, we've always been left completely alone? No-one ever barges in on you and demands conversation when you're taking a dump - therefore you associate it with privacy and quiet?

But I'm glad it's not just me! I spend a lot of time locking myself in a cubicle when I feel overstimulated at college, and when I'm at home I will lock myself away in the bathroom and have a nice, hour long bath. Every day.