I've noticed there are two types of people with AS.

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I think there are two type of people with AS. The ones that try and change to fit in and make other people happy. The other type just says "I have AS, its who I am, accept me for who I am."
I'm more like the second type, why try to be something you are not just to make other happy. If they don't like you for who you really are, then its not worth it.

I'd say I'm both. I live by my own rules but still, I moderate them a bit so that people don't look at me as some insane freak. There is possible to maintain a balance between the two extremes you just described. The fact that you are aware that you are different proves that you are not a very severe case of AS and you can probably fit in quite well if you just try.

Well I don't know...

I (personally) think I'm in between. I know who I am, so why change it? But I also want to make people happy (such as CockneyRebel and ShadesOfMe and Starbuline and other users here plus my friends back home in NZ and my younger relatives). When I'm on my own, however, I let the rest of myself fly out.

I also assume you've left certain groups out on purpose, such as the ones who want to change themselves so badly, but can't, get depressed, and do drastic actions (just as an example).

I am likely the first type.

Tim

I'm the type who says, "This is who I am, accept me the way I am".

I WISH I was the second! I USED to be! Somehow, I just kept giving up more and more. It DOES make me seem more normal, but isn't NEARLY as good for me. 8-(

Steve

agrees eat's away at me too much to try and keep someone happy with a lie..., also it will make you wonder is the person really change or is that stuff building up inside...

Edit:: Missed something out you could do it if you had bad short term memory...

I think i'm more of the second type. I prefer avoiding NT kids unless it's a group project sort of thing where I HAVE to interact with them. I usually hang out in a special ed classroom in lunch to help me blow off some steam from my mainstream classes.

Now that is interesting. Generalizations always simplify a complex issue. However, I kinda/sorta agree. I am a mix, though. I modify my behavior as much as I want to, but there are lines that I will not cross to "fit in." This is why my friends are almost always never "mainstream."

I'm a mixture of the two. I will modify or remove to make myself more socially palatable but if I'm not having something, I'm not having it. Simple as. People in my community seem to respect me for this. Everyone has a role to play here. I will not be assimilated but tolerance and understanding on both sides of the divide can go a long way.

I'm a mix. Everyone I meet is an "a**hole" so everyone has room for improvement. Not improving yourself means you don't care about others so don't whine or cry when they don't accept you - that would mean THEY'D have to change

I shouldnt generalize so badly, after I reread this - I do not change to fit in, but I watch my mouth when I need to - scenario by scenario basis

Last edited by Corvus on 21 Dec 2006, 10:43 am, edited 1 time in total.

I'm 100% the second. That is my exact attitude. I'm an Aspie and very proud of it! I don't care what people think about me. I don't believe in changing so people like me.
-OddDuckNash99-

Me too.

Fitting in is very subjective. I never feel like I fit in, but it doesn't bother me any more. Nevertheless, there are little things I can do to make others feel like I fit in, like I'm one of them, and they don't involve any sacrafice of my fundamental identify. It probably helps that I fundamentally like people and don't experience much contempt for them.

I think it's a spectrum... At the extreme ends of it, you have some really annoying poeple who are either fearfully syncophantic or belligerently self-centered; but any part of said spectrum which isn't extreme--merely accomodating or assertive--seems to be a valid way of interacting with NTs.

I used to be pretty careful about being the sort of person others would like; but by fifth grade, I discovered that I wasn't happy doing this, and anyhow, wasn't successful in reading anyone well enough actually to please them. After I discovered that I couldn't please people and have a lot of friends as I'd wanted to, I gave up on it. During my teen years I spent a while feeling myself to be better than other people, because of my intelligence; but this has tempered itself over time, especially since I have met people with lower intelligence who are nevertheless valuable and interesting people; and since I have discovered that being an Aspie means that I have weaknesses as well as those strengths that had made me feel so above it all.

Lately I have been consciously learning social skills, so that I can interact and communicate when I need to; but I'm proud of my identity as someone who's not quite like most people--not better; not worse; just different. If I know it won't offend or hurt folks, I often deliberately give in to my tendency to be offbeat and eccentric. I can imitate a lot of the things NTs do--their dialect, for example--but I choose not to, because I feel more comfortable interacting in my own strange fashion.

I think that, whichever end of the spectrum you end up on, the better you know yourself and the more you are able to understand other people, the better you will end up feeling both about yourself and the world.

I think I agree. One curious thing I have found is "fitting in" can be easier/harder depending on which group of NTs one is with. This is a demonstration the wildly different personality types between NTs (as is the case between Aspies). For myself determining whether such a group is easier to fit in with (and I should note my own personality doesn't really change) is often difficult because I have so much anxiety in my willingness to initially speak up.