Do you always assume the worst of people?

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Whenever someone acts the least bit odd to me, I overanalyze the situation and assume that person must not like me or think highly of me.

For example, when I see someone one laughing and I don't know what that person is laughing at, I immediately think that person is laughing at me when they're not, or that people are staring at me when they're not.

I usually assume that people are acting out of selfish motives.

I've never been disappointed with this philosophy.

Sometimes, I've been pleasantly surprised (when proven wrong).

I get this a lot. I think it's because I read so much on NTs being able to ''read'' the vibes one gives off and their body language and so on, and now it's made me become paranoid and worried that I can't be indistinguishable no matter how hard I try to appear normal and that there's nothing I can do about it.

Also I, myself, am quite good at picking up on other people's vibes too, just by looking at them and not even knowing them. Today some random woman stood in my personal space, and I looked at her then suddenly felt comfortable with her standing there because of the way she looked, even though she just looked ordinary like everyone else, and it was nothing about her clothes or facial expression or posture that made me think that of her. It was just an instinct, and I worry that other people have that same instinct and so can pick up on who I am within 2 seconds of looking at me.

So that is why I assume that when people are laughing or looking my way, that they are always laughing or staring at me. I think I have emotional scars from a time in the supermarket that happened last year, when 2 random girls were laughing at me, and I knew it was aimed at me because one of them started staring directly at me (I wasn't staring at them to begin with, I just sensed they were staring so I looked at them which was an automatic reaction anyway), and then she went up to her friend and were kind of snickering and turning round to look at me. Then I saw them a few minutes later in the same shop and they both looked at me and grinned at each other again, so it was quite obvious that they had a problem with me. At first I looked like I didn't care and just carried on doing what I was doing, but when I saw them the second time I kind of made them notice that I felt upset and self-conscious, by giving them a gentle frown. I haven't seen them since, but incidents like that has made me wonder if everyone really are laughing at me, and that wasn't the only time I got noticeably laughed at either. And no, I don't appear unusual, in case somebody throws that cliche at me.

To answer the thread title: Yes.

It's worse if you allow facebook to enter the picture. People delete s**t off their walls and you were apart of what was deleted, it may make you analyze it for some reason. I eliminated the source of that problem recently: Me.

I find for me, I am more overanalyzing of online stuff than I am in person due to some online relationship issues in the past. But I still do overanalyze things offline and in person though.

I also worry that people complain about me behind my back. I find myself analyzing things I have done in a certain situation, then go home assuming that I am being talked about. Like the other day in a course I'm on, they served sandwiches with tomato in them. I didn't know the sandwiches had tomato in them until I picked one up. I stared at it for a few seconds, then nervously said, ''uh, I don't like tomatoes'', and put it back on to the plate where I got it from. I had just washed my hands before picking up the sandwich, but I don't think anybody knew I had washed my hands, and I am now worried that when I had gone the other people there might have tutted and said, ''she picked the sandwich up then put it back!'' I have been told before not to put something back what I have already held, so I suppose it's one of those things people get a bit funny over.
Also, on the same day, I thought I was finishing the course at 1pm because that was what I was told. I have issues with sudden time changes, and when I already arrived I was suddenly told I was finishing at 4pm. I didn't expect that, but when I said that I was told by the manager that I was finishing at 1pm and that that was the time I was going home, other people on the course started criticising and asking me if I had other plans and how far away I lived. I don't live too far away from where I was, and I didn't have other plans, which then made me feel awkward, so I had to lie and say, ''well, I've got important phonecalls to make, and I said I will ring them today because I was officially told that I was finishing at 1pm''. The tutor did let me go at 1pm, but I had visions of the others tutting about me, and probably figured out that I was a bit odd.

But I have also been told in past that I must be assertive and stand up for myself. But with me, I always find myself being assertive in the wrong situations.

Yes, unfortunately. I have gotten this way because of numerous incidents when I was justified in my paranoia. I have lived in three different places where I had neighbors eavesdropping on me through the walls when I called my counselor, and then laughing at me. I am usually hyper aware of people around me when I go out, because of unpleasant incidents in the past.

Yes.

I have occasions when I wind up doing this, but usually my problem is that I am too trusting to strangers.

If they give me the time of day, I will tell them anything they asked, do anything for them, just from being so happy that someone who isn't my family (who are obligated by their morals to include me, so therefor don't count so much) is actually interacting with me. It's only when these strangers never talk to me again or come around that I assume they must have had some selfish motive or must not have liked me. ...I sort of have some mild abandonment issues (understatement).

Pretty much a combination of the two. The fact that a man is blind to other people's motives makes it exceedingly difficult to judge. Sweet and kind words are all it seems to take for a stranger to lower my defenses, but I still mistrust the motives of a friend I have known for 25 years.

Yeah, deep down I probably dont have a lot of self confidence despite how I can appear when I make the effort, so when I look at someone and find I am unable to read anything on their face or in their body language (most people most of the time), then, at the back of my mind I think I assume there is a good chance they are looking down at me.

Yes. It's a natural progression to having had socialising problems, and there may have been very real incidences of being laughed at.

In the 'Complete Guide to Aspergers Syndrome' by Tony Attwood he says:



I always over-analyse and take the view that if I presume people are being mean, trying to deceive me, laughing at me in some way, taking advantage of me or have ulterior motives, that I won't get any nasty surprises like I have in the past. However, I never cease being sad at how horrid people are, because they mostly prove me right. I just don't understand why they are like that.

I have been burnt and bullied so much that i have a very hard time trusting anybody.

Actually yes, although I'm working on it.

As for humanity in general, well... that's another story because I'm disappointed in the human race and their inability to understand rational thought on the level that I understand rational thought, which is to say a level that makes sense, and one would think should be common.

Yes, at least at the start, until I know them a little.

All the time but I also assume the worst in me because I tend to have negative thoughts about myself as well. Also I seldomly trust people.

I suck at assuming things.

I wait, observe people, and come to a conclusion about them after much contemplation.

Of course, this is only if I actually notice them in the first place.