Having to face people you wish to avoid

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I know this is a major cause of anxiety for me. Most of the time in my life the people who decided they wanted nothing more to do with me have been quite clear about the situation; this is usually at the moment they come to collect their things or return mine. Have you ever had a falling-out with someone where you're the one who desires no further contact, though there is still property to be reclaimed? Does the anxiety get to the point of your heart racing and a dread coming over you when you see their number show on your ringing telephone and you hyperventilate at the thought of having to see them again, even to get your stuff back?

I used to be like that too, extremely. Until I discovered what NTs do to cope in such situations and which is the accepted thing, therefore minimizes unpleasantness from the other party as well: they wear their false-self mask, well in place, and cold civility is the way to go. It really works for me. Since it's finished, anything they might say till the transaction is over will be met with the same cold civility.

If at all possible, it's best to retrieve as many as possible of your belongings BEFORE the bitter end of a relationship (without them knowing) and maybe sacrifice the rest if not too important. I've done this and it was great.

I have a habit of making the same mistake over and over again till now. I do not like upsetting anyone and I have a habit of doing anything anyone says and I go out of my way to please people all the time, if I let people borrow anything and they have had what they have borrowed from me for awhile Im not game to ask for what they have borrowed back for either getting abused, belted and I dont want to upset anyone. I tend to disappear from everyone if a personal issue arises or if someone upsets me in anyway I change my mobile number, I move, I don't go shopping at the shopping centre I usually goto. I tend to retreat to the saftey and my comfort zone of my bedroom and I don't come out for days thats how I deal with conflict and people involving me in their dramas and personal issues. I am getting taught now how to be assertive and that it is ok to say No and to stand up for myself by my pyschologist who looks after people with Aspergers. You get to a point where in my case I have had to make a decision whether to have these people who cause so much conflict, drama, trouble and cause nothing but pain and hurt in my life to continue to be friends with them or end the friendship. I ended the friendship with quiet a few of my friends just recently it hurt me alot to do it and it took me alot of courage to end it I did not want to hurt anyone but it had to be done. I was just so over the dramas being used, lied too, backstabed, been dragged into other peoples problems, teased and being hurt constantly all the time you get to the stage where you just give up and you are so over it all you just get this attitude of I don't care anymore about anyone or anything all you want to do is pack everything and move away to get away from it all.