I have some questions about aspergers and the spectrum!

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So my brother has aspergers, and he exhibits many of the stereotypical traits of being on the spectrum. Since his diagnoses I've done some research on ASD, and some of the symptoms seem to be far reaching in that a lot of people not on the spectrum have these same signs. I think everyone gets obsessed with things or people, and have special interests, can be awkward around others---especially if they are shy or introverted, get upset if something goes amidst. I myself have obsessions, and tend to live vicariously through other people which I suppose is not really an obsession, I get addicts to playing games on my phone, and if a topic interests my--I'll do research on it, and sometimes I can't get my mind off of things. I listen to the same songs again and again, and so do a lot of people I know. I myself can be shy around others, but I generally have good social skills. I also have weird things like remembering everyone's birthday, etc. Does that mean I'm on the spectrum?

So really my question is how can you tell the difference between someone with ASD opposed to those who just have quirks? Is ASD being over diagnosed to explain differences in personalities?

The "difference" is that, in order to be diagnosed with Aspergers (soon to be Autism Spectrum Disorder), the symptoms an individual experiences need to be causing some level of impairment in their life.

For example, most people get anxious, but if your anxiety is making it difficult for you to function, it's a disorder.

"Aspergers" was never intended to be a "personality-type." It's an impairment in social functioning (and other areas) that are significant enough to require a diagnosis and some level of support.

There has to be a significant impairment. If you don't have one, you are not on the spectrum. Look at your brother for an example for his obsessions and being shy around others, and spending time with one thing, and look at your self and see the difference. Of course if you are mild Asperger's, it may be hard to tell because you don't know if it's an impairment you have or just being quirky or just doing something that is normal such as your obsession.

I my self have troubles knowing the difference and I wonder okay what is the difference between an NT doing this and a normal person? I am convinced they make something an autistic trait when it's just a personality thing. There are just things I have a hard time accepting that is part of autism like arguing with others to be right and not respecting their opinions and still arguing even if they know they are wrong. To me that is just being arrogant and a jerk and now they have an "excuse" for it?

Well, for me, my diagnosis was like a puzzle. It was a mixture of anxiety, social awkwardness, obsessive compulsions and depression that seemed to work like a square in that one contributed to the other three. I get that the stereotype does have social awkwardness as the major factor, but if it's only social awkwardness without anxiety or anything really debilitating in that manner, it may very well just be due to personality type. So if any symptoms cause at least some sort of problem in your daily functioning, that's when you know that you have it.

As for your case, it could be possible that you have an ASD simply because you do have obsessive compulsions (my mind works the same way) and from what I've read, not all people with one are totally socially inept. As for remembering people's birthday, that may actually put you in the Autism spectrum since our minds work differently. For example, I can remember totally trivial facts, think for a living with no pay, remember moments in my life at random, etc.... So I guess it's possible, but maybe you should take something like a comprehensive online test (for free of course) concerning this before consulting a professional, to some degree it was the way I got diagnosed, though I originally believed it was Dyspraxia, I still think I have it but that's for me and a professional to figure out. :3

No-one can say for sure over the internet, but as was said, it needs to impact on your day to day life.
You can be shy and not be on the spectrum.

As an example (note I don't have a diganosis yet, in the process now, this is just my experience), I don't seem outwardly shy, but when people approach to talk to me, I panic and want to run away and hide, I hate it.

there is a definite difference in intensity, (this difference can of course vary)

if i am truly lost in the state of being fed up with "the world" (an effect of low energy, often due to socialization), then i can literally have trouble regulating my activities to the point where i wont eat for a day and barely notice.

suddenly i will be "pulled" away form the activity i am engrossed in by sharp hunger headaches and i will literally wonder why for a minute before i notice the hunger.

the less energy i have the less regulation i can do during a day, which also means that if i have a particularly bad week at work then the following weekend can become quite extreme, sometimes it feels like a single day to me.
the evening after such a workday i will sometimes be in a pseudo zombie mode.

I agree and have also struggled with the ease at which NTs can associate with many of the traits and symptoms. It is possible to interpret the criteria as almost a set or Barnum statements (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Forer_effect) as used in horoscopes etc (I.e. very general criteria which most people would identify with and mistake for significant).

Although this is still possible in my case since I am still awaiting diagnostic assessment, I understand that there is a key difference between an NT reading the criteria and an aspie. Although it seems many can recognise the features in themselves, in my case, these were not just things that sounded familiar - they were the entire and unabridged set of core problems I have struggled with throughout my life. It is why I was taken from one educational physiologist after another throughout primary school. It explains the sense of being some kind of broken human through my teenage years and the suicide attempts. The cold detached and stubborn way I dealt with arguments which has caused so many problems for my relationship. It is the lack of connection, emotional engagement and even emotional awareness that lead me, a few years back, to the worrying (but seemingly logical) conclusion that I must be either schizophrenic, psychopathic or sociopathic.

My point is that, as soon as I read about what Asperger's describes and the lives and struggles of those who were diagnosed, it seemed like the most obvious thing in the world and explained a multitude of problems, some obvious to everyone around me and others so private and upsetting that I had trained myself to dismiss any consideration of it.

I am acutely aware of the problems with self-diagnosis and I should not strictly call myself someone with Aspergers until I am diagnosed. That said, I am almost as sure of AS as I am of my gender or hair colour. The only real issue is the question of how seriously my life is impacted by this - now I understand what it encompasses, I would say that I am married with a job but still struggle with a lot of things that people take for granted but that would be a judgement call by the phyc I suppose.

There's far more to ASD than interests. For some of us, (including me) there's also the issue of becoming so engaged in our interests which means that other areas of our life suffers.

Thanks for the feedback! From reading this I doubt I have it. My brother is so completely different from me, and I'll admit it's been really hard growing up with him. A lot of my symptoms did not show up til I was around 15, or so after I experienced some huge major life changes and stresses. I guess my interests are not obsessions because I don't get so absorbed in them that I lose track of other things. My anxiety has calmed down with medicine, and I know why I have it, but I won't go into detail. I've always been an easygoing, go with the flow kind of person. My brother is very rigid, set in his ways, matter of fact, and sometimes is hard to deal with him. So I don't know! You you guys think I should be tested anyways? With my brother is was kinda obvious, but who would be good at detecting more subtle versions of ASD?

Also, realize that "impairments" can be really subtle and not easily noticed.

I didn't realize my life was impaired, until I had a wake up call.
You get so used to living a certain way with certain situations and responses that it just becomes normal. That is, until someone comes along and shows you it's not healthy.

Most of the ways in which I am impaired result in consequences that could be simply situational, but they are impairments and I need support.

For example, I can attend loud meetings regularly, and be miserable, shutdown, and get ill afterwards and never think I'm impaired until I found out that that's a sensory processing issue and that it's a disability.

Or, I'm just so used to not reading facial expressions that I play a guessing game with social situations, which often end up poorly. That's an impairment, but I thought it was normal.

This kind of stuff is common in late diagnoses.

I just wanted to post my online test scores:

Aspie Score: 70/200
Neurotypical score: 149/200
You are very likely neurotypical.

AQ score: 18
SQ score: 14
EQ score: 57

BAP: 82 Aloof, 66 Rigid, 71 Pragmatic.
Neurotypical

Are there more online test I can take? How good are these tests really?

When Nts listen to the same song over and over and you? How long does it last?

It seems like people on the spectrum will listen to the same song over and over for hours none stop (eg. from the time they get home from school until they go to bed). When I do it, it lasts I don't know but not even an hour that's for sure. but I can listen to the same album over and over and not get tired of it.