God this sucks.

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I'm 25, has a BA from UC Berkeley and have burned the bridges to my last 2 jobs. I have a choice to make. As I sit here and write this in San Francisco Ca., I can either run back to my mom's house. A lady who has some serious issues and someone who I cannot stand to be around. She stresses me out so much and even told me to not tell the doctors about my Asperger's "because you don't want a thing like that on your record." She's really paranoid and literally only eats cheese and wheat. Nevermind about all that. Although I did not really grow up with her, I do care about her.

It's either run home, or stick it out without a job. I thought I'd get rehired by an old company here in San Francisco, but of course I've burned the bridges some how antagonizing the manager and "tattling" too much. If I stay in San Francisco I will have more social support and more help from people. If I go home, my social options will be severely limited, but housing will be somewhat stable, minus the melodramatic mother.

What should I do? I'm open to your suggestions. Should I give it a few more days here or head back home? I do have a plan (with my 63 shares of facebook and a little cash in the bank) I could save just a little more and get a TEFL which would allow me to teach English in other countries and none of my students would notice my social quirks. hahahahaha. If I went home I'd get that plan in motion and be beyond just SF. But I don't know. Help!

Thank you.

If you want to teach in foreign countries; go for it. Is that what you want to do? If not, going abroad to work might be flirting with a total breakdown.

It seems you like living in SF. Why not grab a low paying job such as store clerk in order to financially hold body & soul together and look for a career position. You are young. If your resume and chops are good in your field; the time spent in the menial job can be considered penitence for your bridge burning behavior. We believe in 2nd chances (and even third) in this society.

Wow, well said. That is too true. Thanks for the encouragement. I do like being here and the social services are much better than the countryside where my mother lives. I think there is definitely some flirting going on between me and the teaching english since teaching is not what I really want to do. Anyway, the daunting fear is the overwhelming stress trying to get the whole thing together.

I really agree with this, and suggest you heeding this advice. My travel experience was a disaster because I wasn't ready for it. And I mean a disaster; I f****d up all social interactions I had royally, and experienced a severe suicidal depression, with extreme psychomotor retardation and dissociation.
I have PTSD as well so I'm not suggesting this would be your experience, but it's no joke becoming that ill in a foreign country and becoming confused and stuck.
I had to stay with someone I met on a cross country bus because I was not coping with the plans I had put in place beforehand.
In short; don't travel until you're ready.

Do not go to teach just to get away from your mother or your problems or your country. Go to teach because you want to teach and are well ready for it and strong in yourself. Don't take it lightly.
If you go when you're ready you could have a wonderful time, but don't do it to escape.

I would say give yourself at least a few more days to make your decision about going home or staying where you are. Then after that time has passed (set a time scale), if you're still unsure either take more time or go with the least damaging option for you.
Once you've done that, give yourself more time to work out the bigger picture and long term plans.

But think about a few options, more than one or two.

Hope that helps a bit. Good luck

Last edited by Cuckooflower on 10 Dec 2012, 1:29 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Yep. Hang in there. This is one of the bad times in life to slog through. Then there will be better times.

I do think it would be amazing to see new places. I have a photographic memory and it's really boring sometimes being in the same place for so long, not seeing anything new. Since I can remember pretty much everything about how a place looks, my sense of direction is very keen. Thanks for the advice. I think if I do end up getting a TEFL it will be through more planning and organization that what my current plan is. (Current plan is to run home, dump everything I have into facebook stock and hope it goes high enough to afford me the plane ticket, credential, and airfare/living expenses to succeed at an english teaching job. Yikes? Yes, yikes.) If you look at it, this plan doesn't take into account all the required steps to succeed at starting an english teaching career. I'm gonna stop typing now, less my confusion becomes too overwhelming for this site.

Wow, this definitely makes me think twice! I could just see that happening. Panic attack in Seoul or something.

Wow, this definitely makes me think twice! I could just see that happening. Panic attack in Seoul or something.


Yes, I would suggest not taking it lightly. It was very frightening what happened to me, and I could not have anticiptaed it. I had not dealt with severe PTSD issues from childhood/adolescence, and I experienced dissociation symptoms alongside a depression so severe at certain points I was struggling to move/breath normally.
I was lucky I met someone kind enough and non-judgmental enough to have to me stay. I never got to do what I wanted in the end.
I am not suggesting this would be your experience, but if you have any doubts about your mental health or coping abilities or any deep seated issues etc., then work on those first.
I cannot stress that enough.

This may not be the case for you, if so I wish you luck with it.