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Tufted Titmouse
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23 Dec 2006, 3:15 pm

This seems like it'd be such an obvious AS problem that there has to be another thread on the topic, but I didn't see one in a brief look-over and I don't have time to hunt for it, so forgive me if this has already been covered.

I'm terribly overstimulated by the holidays. The lights, the games, the hustle and hassle, the colors, the expenses, the people, the expectations, the decorating, the drama, the absolutely obligatory socializing, the having the act cordial and actually shop for to people who, any other time of the year, I wouldn't pull out of a ditch if I noticed them there bleeding (i.e. my significant other's family).

When it's broken down to a simple, low-stress, small-group task, e.g. decorating a Christmas tree, I can enjoy it. But as a whole, big, loud, bright, constant, costly, bloody social month-long event, I spend the entire duration of December miserable.

Anyone else? Do you have any tips on getting through it without any total meltdowns?



hartzofspace
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23 Dec 2006, 3:23 pm

I find that what helps me get through it without meltdowns,is to pick my battles. Say, if you're expected to socialize with family for more than an hour, don't do Christmas shopping that same day. Figure out ahead of time what's the most challenging, then try to stay mellow before the event. In many cases I have begun to refuse invites if I think it'll be too much. I found that the last three Christmases I spent around my family consisted of an all night scream fest, with everyone talking at the top of their lungs and trying to outshout each other. Little kids run around tearing the place up, people are getting drunk, and by the time I get home I'm completely overwhelmed. :wink:


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Starbuline
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23 Dec 2006, 3:23 pm

I get extremely anxious over the holidays.
But since I was diagnosed with AS, my mom doesn't make me go to getherings anymore.



paolo
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23 Dec 2006, 4:47 pm

Comes out I am not the only one to suffer from holiday-sickness.
Could we federate the two threads?



SteveK
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23 Dec 2006, 5:06 pm

Starbuline wrote:
I get extremely anxious over the holidays.
But since I was diagnosed with AS, my mom doesn't make me go to getherings anymore.


WOW, I wish I was that lucky! My mother just DOESN'T CARE! I even told her about how you, DIAGNOSED, have so many of the wierd quirks I have(like going out in the cold with no jacket, and being sensitive to noise, etc. SHE wants me to put a jacket on when it drops below 70!)! She ADMITS that that is significant, but STILL does a lot of the "mother" garbage. She is a LOT like Rays mother in "everybody loves raymond".

BTW I am usually THOUSANDS of miles away from her, and am middle aged. She STILL acts like I am TWO! I probably thought it was LUDICROUS at 2! I KNOW I thought it was ludicrous at 5! I STILL think it was ludicrous at 5 by the way.

If I thought it was too cold, I WOULD wear a jacket. In fact, when I went on an assignment where it had gotten to 20 below, I got my first jacket. I ended up removing the liner, and eventually forgot the coat because I was too hot! It never did get to be even ZERO. Somewhere, there are 3 people wearing coats I bought, because I forgot them because it was TOO WARM! To them I say.... ENJOY! 8-)

Steve



paolo
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23 Dec 2006, 5:40 pm

Perhaps there already is an autism day, but it's institutional, like father's day, mother's day, earth's day. May be we should proclaim a "grassroots autism day". 17 of january st.Anthony of the desert? Anthony lived a great part of his life in the wilderness, eating roots and locusts. He wasn't a great socializer, at least in the desert. He died at 105.



animallover
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23 Dec 2006, 6:11 pm

I had the most irritating holiday experience this year - I went to a big Christmas party that I go to every year and this year there were LOTS of people there that I don't know (usually there are a few, but this year there were lots) and they were LOUD - and I was trying not to bother my best friend because I know he likes to be social so I was standing in the doorway out into the garage where I could see everyone (and be close to the diet coke) but also feel like I could escape and the lady who's house it is (and who is usually nice to me) said 'You might as well just go upstairs and watch TV!' and I nearly said '*&^%$ you!' and left, but I didn't since that would leave my best friend with explaining to do . . .
Anyway, later we decided we would go to the museaum because I'm changing jobs and have extra days off and, of course, there is too much to do with the holidays, etc . . . like I said in the other thread, I'm just going to ignore the holidays next year . . .



Cowgirlchic23
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23 Dec 2006, 10:13 pm

I can't believe it! This the first Christmas in my entire 27 years of life that I have NO Spirit. The nostalgia is gone, it feels so meaningless to me. I feel like that it is just an overrated and over commercialized holiday. Its not the same as it was when my brothers and I were little. That excitement is gone now. Believe it or not, its actually annoying me when someone wishes me a Merry Xmas. Instead I feel sad and will be glad when Christmas comes and GOES! We're not really having a christmas this year because my parents are having financial troubles. My dad's work truck just required a $10,000.00 repair. My younger brother is broke because he recently built a racecar, and my older brother just bought a new condo. All this stuff happened right as Christmas was approaching. Bummer!! !! Anyways another thing that might be affecting me too is 2006, it hasn't been a good year at all. I lost my best friends, my cat of 13yrs. and got moved to place I hate. So as a result I have been suffering bad depression for the last 7mos too. Yuck! All I can say is, I hope 2007 is better year for myself and my family. We'll see what happens!



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23 Dec 2006, 10:18 pm

SteveK wrote:
Starbuline wrote:
I get extremely anxious over the holidays.
But since I was diagnosed with AS, my mom doesn't make me go to getherings anymore.


WOW, I wish I was that lucky! My mother just DOESN'T CARE! I even told her about how you, DIAGNOSED, have so many of the wierd quirks I have(like going out in the cold with no jacket, and being sensitive to noise, etc. SHE wants me to put a jacket on when it drops below 70!)! She ADMITS that that is significant, but STILL does a lot of the "mother" garbage. She is a LOT like Rays mother in "everybody loves raymond".

BTW I am usually THOUSANDS of miles away from her, and am middle aged. She STILL acts like I am TWO! I probably thought it was LUDICROUS at 2! I KNOW I thought it was ludicrous at 5! I STILL think it was ludicrous at 5 by the way.

If I thought it was too cold, I WOULD wear a jacket. In fact, when I went on an assignment where it had gotten to 20 below, I got my first jacket. I ended up removing the liner, and eventually forgot the coat because I was too hot! It never did get to be even ZERO. Somewhere, there are 3 people wearing coats I bought, because I forgot them because it was TOO WARM! To them I say.... ENJOY! 8-)

Steve


I had a recent meltdown during Thanksgiving so she doesn't really want me going anyway. :D



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23 Dec 2006, 11:08 pm

I'm an NT, and even NT's think it's an insane amount of shopping and stimulation and socializing as well. I'm annoyed by the whole thing, and have been for years.

There's a lot to do during Christmas, and a lot of it seems so unnecessary. Putting on a good show for other people, buying gifts that nobody is going to like or use, spending money you don't have -- it is definitely ridiculous.

I think we need to just find the time to enjoy what WE like about Christmas. If it's snowing in your area, stop and just watch the snow fall. If you like the Christmas tree lights, spend the night looking at the Christmas tree. Drink hot chocolate. Listen to music you like. Anything to calm down and make it better. We have family visiting (and very nice family, thank heavens), but it's a lot of together-ness, so I just went out shopping by myself. I really didn't need to, but it did help me to kind of calm down just to be able to get out of the house, go for a ride, listen to the Ipod in the car, and not have to do anything for anybody else.

I like the idea that hartzofspace put forward, about picking your battles. Severely limit the Christmas stuff that drives you nuts, and only do one thing a day (or less often, if you can) that makes you that crazy. There is no law that says we have to do every Christmas tradition that other people think is necessary.

Hope you all have as Merry a Christmas as possible!

Kris



ed
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24 Dec 2006, 10:41 am

Since I stopped celebrating Christmas, I have come to enjoy it so much more. I love the pretty lights (ok, I understand why they can be a major problem for some of you) and Christmas carols. My iPod has 1-2 gigs of choral Christmas music - can't get enough of it!

I don't like the idea of giving presents at Christmas (or birthdays, for that matter.) The idea of getting a gift for someone becoming a chore sickens me. When you happen to see something that someone would like, that's the time to buy and give a gift. There should not be one day set aside for gift giving.

As a former Episcopalian, I don't even like the idea of Christmas being the major Christian holiday. That honor should certainly belong to Easter, the day of Christ's victory over death, that all who follow him might have eternal life.