Being helpful

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In my adult years, I've come to realize one of my reasons for being is HELPING people.

How, you ask? By helping with their life problems, primarily. As someone who has had a somewhat turbulent past (despite my parents being sort of OK, in my book); I am using that energy towards helping people in many ways. I know it may sound weird, but it's what I aim to do. Like my brother, who's had a troubled past; I've helped him with my 'element of laughter'. So, yes, not only do I am to please, but I am the kind of person whom you should trust to help you with your problems, and always with a smile.

I like to help, too, but have trouble coming up with ways I can help.

I like to help. I have helped my neighbors with stuff without asking anything in return a bunch. like when my neighbors tree got blown down a by storm last month. I spent 4 hours helping him cut it up, split and stack the wood.

I also like to help others. It makes me feel good inside.

I like helping also. But people usually have to ask me.

Do someone a favor and it becomes your duty - this is what happens to me if I help someone. I haven't been able to discover why. So nowadays I'm very careful not to, however much I liked it in the past. I devote my life to helping stray cats.

Same here.

Just strange that we can help other people or NTs
whilst they cannot help us. Or do not want to help us.

Is the reason that people ignore our reality, whilst we can by thinking pretty much (although not everything)
find out what is the problem.

Then they take our help but
they do not necessarily give us something backl
And claiming help because you have helped is really stupid.

And it is difficult to help us.
But why can't they figure it out that we are in trouble and show some understanding
or try to understand???
Why do they ignore our personalities and our different views on things?
And this even happens almost automatically...

Why do they react just oppositely (when they see trouble)
and begin to gossip about it and make us mad
instead of doing something useful.

I would never want to make jokes about somebody that is
down or strange but otherwise an upright person...

I am very sure that I could invent some really nasty jokes that would bring them to their knees.
But why would I want that,
especially when they have never done anything to me?

This is what I am good for: Using my good skills to help people. That's what I feel is a good quality about myself.

I like to help people, but I like it to be helpful help, not just that I think I've helped because I've tried. I must agree, to a point, with onks that some NTs think you should be helped by whatever they intend to be helpful, whether it actually helps or not. I try to check if my help has been helpful and to modify accordingly or to stay out of the way if I have no good way to help. Like me, though, NTs can be frustrated because of wanting to help and not knowing what to do, so I try not to judge if I think someone's been sincere and not pushy. I must also agree that there have been times in my life, as Moondust points out, when helping has committed me, unintentionally, to an obligation. Then it's not a volunteer favor anymore. That takes the good will out of it and makes it a chore instead. I try to avoid being taken advantage of that way, though not reading people or guessing their intentions well can make that difficult.

All that being said, though, yes, you're right, equestriatola. Helping others is a great reason to be alive! It can go very, very well.

I wouldn't say I necessarily LIKE helping others, but I don't mind it one bit. Of course, I start to mind it when I'm always the one helping, and nobody seems to want to help me when I need it.

I'll help if they ask me to. If they dont ask then I dont help...

MindWithoutWalls: Thanks.

Good topic

Having had a miserable childhood myself, I also like to help people when I can. There were many times when I felt alone and abandoned by everyone, hated and discarded like a failure. These experiences taught me compassion.

When I help people, I also feel that I help that little scared boy hiding in the corner. My past self.

What's really hard for me is when I try to help and someone else gets angry and tries to stop me, because they wouldn't have helped. I think some people are too shy and afraid to help or assume that the person being helped would be embarrassed and therefore not want the help. I end up being sorry if I let someone stop me, but it's really painful to go against someone who's being insistent about it. I don't usually find that anyone objects to an offer of help, so long as they have a choice about whether or not to accept. Maybe people who don't want me to help others are pushy themselves and, therefore, assume that I'll be pushy. Maybe they also feel pushed by simple offers of help and, therefore, assume that anyone would feel pushed. In any case, I think it creates much more of a scene for someone to try to stop me from offering than for them to just let me go, so trying to prevent me from drawing attention by stopping me is counterproductive. And, quite frankly, I think the biggest reason some people try to stop me is so that they don't feel embarrassed as a result of my stepping forward, which could call attention to me or to the person I'm trying to help or which could make that person feel shy about having my attention.

In the end, I still think trying to help is better, as long as I offer in a casual, sensitive, sometimes cheerful, always nonjudgmental, nonthreatening way and go away politely and quickly if my help is not wanted.