Coping techniques for last minute changes to plans?

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I posted a few days ago that I have finally realized that I am most likely an Aspie after doing a great deal a reflection on my life in general and taking an online self diagnosis quiz. At first, I was almost ashamed, panicked and in denial. Now RELIEF has settled in. Life moves forward and I know I'm not strange, odd, weird or antisocial. Im just wired differently

Anyway, last night I had what I like to call a mini meltdown. My meltdowns frequently (actually 100% of the time) occur when a change is made to plans that are made. Especially when I have spent a long time planning.. Of course, to say the least I "plan" and research sometimes for days on things. My husband and I started talking a few weeks ago about going on a vacation. Its to a beach town 10 hours away (note: I live in Brazil after my husband got a job here). Of course, right after we decided on this vacation the planning began. What tour company, hotel, food, what to do while we are there, etc. Hours of online research and planning. Yep.. Thats what I always end up doing. Yesterday afternoon we went to a travel agency. We had an ideal plan, the agent even printed out the itinerary all we need to do is pay. Fast forward to last night (or rewind really depending how you look at it). Were laying in bed about to go to sleep. All of a sudden he says, "you know. I was thinking in the shower. Maybe we should also consider going to xxx (different city)." I could feel my blood boiling. I couldnt understand how it was already planned, decided and done and now he wanted to change it. It made me want to just cancel the idea of going anywhere. Then I laid there, awake and annoyed that he dropped this on me RIGHT before going to sleep. UGH.. What are some of the ways that you handle this? Now that I am more aware, I just kept telling myself that I was being irrational and that it wasnt a big deal. It didnt work.

I don't like to travel at all. Too much is out of my control.
It sounds like your partner is more easy going in that respect. I don't know how I'd handle the situation. Last minute changes in plans are panic inducing for me. Does your partner understand that this is causing you stress?

Yes, that doesn't work. Your mind got into this loop and you couldn't sleep.

I find it better to do something, like play Scrabble on the computer. This allows you to re-direct your mind.

The traveling and vacation is acceptable and fun only because when I imagine the vacation I imagine only the two of us enjoying quiet and alone time. Def NOT a "party" vacation- that would never happen and wouldnt be fun AT ALL. The only thing I panic a bit thinking about is the bus. They sell the package until the bus is somewhat full. Once the bus gets to the destination we are all free to go our separate ways.. The only thought that comes to mind is that I hope nobody talks to me or is overly excited and noisy on the bus. Lucky for me, Portuguese is a second language so I have found myself in the (bad) habit of zoning out and "pretending" I dont understand the language when I dont feel like socializing.

My husband is starting to understand little by little. I explained to him about Aspergers. He hadnt heard of it. After reading to him about it he understood a lot better. He said that thing make sense now and said he feels kinda bad that he teased me so much for being so "antisocial" all of these years. We have been married for 11 years, so I think this has also been an "aha" moment for him as well. I think I just need to tell him not to spring things on me like that and to let me know ahead of time if he wants to have more than one choice so we can decide on it way before. Because once I decide on something, thats it. Its extremely hard to change my mind.