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whirlingmind
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22 Dec 2012, 10:47 am

A couple of days ago, the postman rang the doorbell, by the time I'd got downstairs and through two sets of locked doors he'd just stuffed a card through the door for me to collect the item, because it needed signing for.

When I opened the door with the card in my hand, he said in what I thought was a level voice, something like "oh, I just wrote that out, I'm in a rush today". and something about his postal round.

I said something jovial about him being busy because it was Christmas, and laughed, signed the machine and took the parcel.

He then said "sorry I got annoyed" which took me by surprise because I hadn't seen any sign that he was annoyed. I then thought maybe he was seething and stressed and worried I'd report him to his bosses and that this was why he said the last bit, but I genuinely hadn't noticed he was annoyed.

Do NTs hide their annoyance to that level that you can't tell, or was this a case of me missing obvious signals? Is there such a thing as a subtle display of annoyance or other emotions? I mean how are you supposed to know when it's so subtle that you can't pick it up?

I thought he was mumbling about being busy just to make conversation, but apparently he was annoyed and believed I had noticed. :? I thought I was OK at picking up things like annoyance, happiness, heavy sarcasm (although not if it's veiled so much) and sadness etc. Now I'm questioning whether I am as OK as I thought.


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answeraspergers
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22 Dec 2012, 11:32 am

its a little of both

his annoyance was in "i just wrote that out"

watch the show lie to me for some tips ;-)



whirlingmind
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22 Dec 2012, 11:36 am

...but how was his voice not apparently (to me) sounding annoyed, because he thought that he had showed his annoyance because he apologised?


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answeraspergers
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22 Dec 2012, 11:39 am

it may not be in the tone, it could be an accompanying facial expression.



justkillingtime
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22 Dec 2012, 11:42 am

Maybe he was annoyed but it did not come through (no one would have thought he was annoyed) and he did not realize it was concealed.


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whirlingmind
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22 Dec 2012, 12:08 pm

answeraspergers wrote:
it may not be in the tone, it could be an accompanying facial expression.


I remember him having a neutral/blank expression, I didn't notice any furrowed eyebrows or anything.


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whirlingmind
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22 Dec 2012, 12:09 pm

justkillingtime wrote:
Maybe he was annoyed but it did not come through (no one would have thought he was annoyed) and he did not realize it was concealed.


:lol: ...so he could have been an Aspie then! Come to think of it, his eye contact was poor.


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answeraspergers
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22 Dec 2012, 12:13 pm

very possible. Good point.



ianorlin
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22 Dec 2012, 1:52 pm

I actually don't like when people apolagize for no reason.



Verdandi
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22 Dec 2012, 2:39 pm

I don't notice annoyance, generally.