Do you sometimes have ideas about being evil?

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What I wonder about is if there are people here who have ever thought about being evil because it might give you a certain power or might, or are you always the friendly, socially-awkward and good guy? To be honest, it's very hard for me to be evil, but sometimes I think about what it would be like and although it might give you feelings of guilt, it gives you a certain power which is interesting to think about and which might give you insight into people who are people and why they are.

Evil is always about power. Evil is also always destructive.

Good is creative, it uses power to create, build and nurture.

No I don't contemplate doing evil in order to exert power. I abhor destruction.

Evil isn't always about power. If you hurt yourself because you are depressed it hurts others and it doesn't give you any power unless you are just an attention seeker. If you're not an attention seeker and you do things that harm others by hurting yourself while knowing the pain it will cause the whole time it is selfish. Evil may or may not be a stretch but it could be considered evil. I've done it and now none of my loved ones trust me. They're right not to trust me because I don't even want to stop. I want to experience psychosis so I'm going for temporary stimulant psychosis using amphetamines that I still have to get my hands on. In a sick way I hope it becomes permanent but I know it probably won't. It's pretty much guaranteed to produce temporary symptoms though. And no, I don't want attention I just want to see myself suffer and I also have a curiosity. Masochism mixed with curiosity is a bad combination.

I've been concerned that I may be manipulating this one girl to help me get Adderall because it is an amphetamine. I'm trying to make our friendship about more than just the favour she's trying to do me. Her immediate friends only have Ritalin so she has to ask friends of friends. I don't know anyway. Anyway I'm going to see the hobbit with her so that it's not just about the Adderall. I do like her as a friend and I don't want to feel like I'm just using her.


I've been doing things that have been hurting others and I still want to hurt myself so badly that I'm continuing to do these bad things even knowing that other people are getting hurt and scared. It's not bringing me any power. Every act has been self-destructive and I've actually been losing freedom. My parents won't let me have my bedroom door closed. It must be open at all times so they can see what I'm dong. There is a lock on the medicine cabinet. My parents watch me take my pills and do mouth checks. They don't want me to not take them, deprive myself of sleep with the intention of hallucinating, while saving my pills for later in order to use them for running away or suicide.


Not all evil acts give you power. Some are lose-lose. Destroying the entire planet would be evil but it wouldn't give you power. You'd be dead. If you hurt everyone else and yourself at the same time even though you know people other than yourself are being hurt it is bad for everyone including yourself.

I have all the energy for it. Supervillain. What it kind of is is taking what you feel like everyone already thinks of you, owning it, and building it up to heights no one ever thought were possible. They think you're a societal outcast. Okay. Fine. Yes! Yes I am! I'm the greatest societal outcast that every lived, and since that has never been defined, I shall define it! It means creating a lab deep within the underground chambers of a Moroccan temple, wherein I conduct experiments mutating animals to grow features of saber-toothed tigers, sharks, mammoths, etc., creating a mutant animal beast army to someday bring to earth's surface and enact revenge on a world who has thus far regarded me as just one little life not worth anyone's extended amount of time to interact with. Because you get to a point where it's no longer about you having a life; it's just about choosing where, when, and how to detonate your bomb - to use up an enormous amount of energy that the world has been packing back into you your whole life.

I sometimes think that I should just give up on trying to do things right and just become a professional parasite. Collect SSI for my real and multiple fake SSN's and run some shady computer businesses out of Vietnam (i.e. a "phishing" scam) and file multiple fraudulent veterans benefits documents with the VA routed into a Vietnamese bank account (no extradition treaty). I could be the rich powerful American in $4000 brogues with 12 girlfriends. Maybe eventually buy some factories and real estate and become more like a real productive citizen.

I've definitely been a very successful legal parasite. Gotten lots of benefits and money I didn't deserve from the government, etc. It's like capitalist society has a death wish and wants to use its exclusionary habits to create as many unproductive leechers as possible, till America, UK, etc. become Greece or Argentina. Because I'm totally willing to try my best to be a good, productive citizen, but the jury's still out on whether or not society is reformable enough to allow that to happen (I'm still in school and just work part-time while pulling down $45,000/year in free tuition from the state and $35,000/year from various other legal sources).

Maybe once I finish my law degree I can go for software engineering with the rest of my undeserved VA benefits so I can be a more effective human parasite. It's not my fault. It's George W. Bush's fault because were it not for the stupid fundies, it's likely that both NVLD and Aspergers would be curable with stem cells by now.

I am not sure what you mean by evil. Evil can mean so many different things. I have had evil thoughts like wishing I could kill someone with my mind and no one would know I committed the crime because I was there when they died mysteriously and there would be no evidence on how they died so everyone would just be all confused about how it all happened and what was the cause of it. I have had fantasy thoughts about abusing an animal I hated because I felt it was evil and it was giving me anxiety because I did not want pee on the floor. I used to tell this story in my shrink's office called The Abusing Adventures of Squeaky and we both found it funny. It wasn't real and it was all fantasy. It was a story I always made up and I named it that. I have also wanted to beat people up but I was always too weak to do it. I have also wanted to destroy my brother's parties and humiliate them so their friends would never want to come back but I chickened out doing it. I tried having ODD in my Junior year of high school so my life would be calmer and better and no more surprises because I would be getting my way. An aspie kid I knew who I called my aspie mate, he always abused his mother and broke stuff to control her so he get his way because he had ODD. I am thinking now he may have had conduct disorder. I was trying to do a short cut and my parents wouldn't allow it so they were strong and then mom told me one day if I ever hit her again, she will send me away. I was forced to stop trying to have ODD and I ended up hating my aspie mate and never wanting to see him again because it was so unfair. I feel angry again as I write this because it is bringing back my old feelings. Then I went onto thinking evil thoughts about this mate like I want him to be tutored and abused like David in A Child Called 'It' because it was so unfair and I hated him now. he was so lucky to have a weak mother and mine had to be strong. Then I wanted him to be killed or go to prison. To this day I still hate the SOB and people with ODD and conduct disorders. I am probably being evil now my expressing this old anger that still comes back every now and then when I think about this.

I sometime think about being evil. I used to fantasize about it a lot 5 years ago.

Sometimes I wish I could be, but not in a criminal way, like randomly going to a primary school and shooting a lot of innocent children and teachers. That is terrible and I would NEVER want to do that in my life. It is disgusting, and I would never kill anyone in that way with a gun for no reason. I wouldn't even want to handle a gun.

No, I'd just like to be evil in a different way. I'd like to be evil to all the people that thoroughly deserve it, like bullies, murderers, David Cameron, and so forth. And I wouldn't want to kill them either, I'd just want to have powers like Matilda, where they can just suffer and might feel ashamed of themselves.

I think I'm neglecting the gravity of the topic but as a kid, I always rooted for the bad guys or villains. I preferred the pirates, vigilantes, outlaws, Galactic Empire in Star Wars and so on. I see some of you disputing the evil and power association but that's the primary reason for my preference. In real life, I agree with Tyri0n...I've occasionally become so embittered by society that I've considered alternate income sources but in the end, I'm too law-abiding.

Some days I really do understand why people go on shooting sprees.....,,,

I couldn't hurt a fly, but sometimes the pain inside just gets too much, there is nobody that can/will help and the only options are to kill yourself or to strike out at the people who are hurting you.

Only in D&D.

Yes, all the time. Even a lot of people told me I am: peers, some teachers, and even my parents, who love me very much, have told me that I make evil reasonings that scare them. So, I think I am actually evil, after all.

Evil and good are relative, though. If destruction gets a point across once and for all, then it's a force of good.

Ummm... i would like to debate this... but there is no citation for your opinion, just opinion...

Destruction does not equal evil anymore than creation equals good.

Evil, by definition is Profoundly immoral and malevolent.

Morality is defined by specific societal expectations. In some instances, this means that women who can read are engaged in great evil. In others, it is acceptable to eat the flesh of your enemies... in still others, you eat the remains of your loved ones. In some cultures in AMERICA it is immoral to see a woman's ankles and elbows. In one religion, if a woman wears pants, she is going to hell for being evil.

Evil is something that doesn't truly exist. It is a word use by people to isolate and control that which is different than they are.

For the record... For the longest time, people thought that anyone with a pervasive developmental disorder was possessed by demons, making them evil. That means, a century ago... we were all evil.

You can argue that they were just ignorant, but that argument is a double edged sword.

I know I'm capable of doing terrible things. But I choose not to. I also know what it means to do the right thing, and desire to do it, even though I don't always have the willpower, organization, or skill to pull it off. I'm balanced between two potential extremes. I don't think I'm capable of drifting through life somewhere in the middle. Even when I play D&D, I can never stay neutral. I have to pick a side, and usually it's Good... usually.

I think that choice between good and evil is universal. We are all capable of great good, or great evil. Humans are very complex creatures and as such we can do things that are greater than any other animal could ever think of doing. But that's a lot of power, and we're so fallible. It's like we're all toddlers who've been given access to a nuclear power plant. The very fact of who we are and how much we can do scares me sometimes. I don't think we humans are cut out to handle it.

I frequently have thoughts and urges to hurt or kill other people: old enemies from school, complete strangers, even the people who I love the most. Pretty much anyone. It's usually irritation, frustration, anger or sadness that cause these urges. I'd say that the majority of the time it's my own state of mind that causes me to feel this way rather than anything that was said or done by others, though as you can imagine, feeling slighted by other people certainly doesn't help. I worry a lot about "snapping" one day and actually maiming or killing someone for real, since I'm pretty emotionally unstable and my mental health is frail (I've been heavily medicated since I was a young teenager). When I tell people about it, they usually don't take me seriously, either because they think I'm too nice or too physically weak. That makes my thoughts and urges even worse because it just makes me want to prove them wrong.