Asperger's/Autism?

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Hey folks,

I'm wondering if I have Asperger's/slight Autism.

Ever since I was a little kid, I always did weird things. For example, when I was about 7-8, I was walking though town with my mum, and I went off into my own little world and started thinking the speed of light, I got so wrapped up in my thought and I wanted to see if I could capture the speed, so I started flapping my hand/arm up and down as fast as I could. I didn't realise it was a strange thing to do until I noticed people in the street staring at me and my mum asked me what I was doing.

Another weird thing I remember doing is writing my name and address, in black marker on the front of my school trouser leg. I honestly don't know what motivated me to do that, but I only realised what I was doing, after someone asked me why I was writing on my clothes.

I've always had social problems as a child. I've also always had problems understanding people. Everyone just said it was because I was young and I'd "grow out of it". Well, I'm 18 now and STILL have a hard time understanding people. I've been telling people this for years that I just don't understand people, and I'm not just talking about jokes either, I mean subtleness, hints, "reading between the lines". Phrases like "off by heart" or "dodged the bullet" confuse me. It took me 3 years to realise what "off by heart meant" and to this day, I still don't fully understand the phrase "I dodged the bullet" in some situations, but everyone just tells me "you're naive" or "you'll grow out of it" still. they don't understand. It's more than just naiveness. There is something nit right with my ability to understand people! But no on will listen.

I also have problems with hearing people when there is background noise, especially when other people are talking. It's not that they aren't talking loud enough, and I'm not hard of hearing but it's like, I can't focus on what they're saying if there's other words being spoken, or other noises distracting me in the background.

Not only that, but I have problems when I'm talking to more than a couple of people at a time. It's like my mind get's overcrowded with information and I just can't think straight when I've got more than one person talking to me. This is why I can't use the phone. If there's a TV on, or someone in the background speaking, I hear both conversations at once and can't focus on the one I need to. I also don't know when it's my turn to speak when on the phone and I can't understand what people are saying properly if I can't watch their mouth when they speak.

I also can't understand humour. It's not that I don't have a sense of humour, I do, I just don't understand it. I don't even REALISE there's a joke there most of the time. I used to watch the simpsons as a kid, and still do infact, but I never realised it was a comdey until I got older and saw my friends laughing at it. It's only over the last 2-3 years that I've actually started to SEE jokes in things and recognising them. It's hard to explain. It's not that i'm too serious or void of a sense of humour, I just don't even register things as jokes most of the time. I think it's to do with the faces. Unless I see someone laugh, I usually don't realise it's a joke. That's why cartoons go right over my head. Many a time, the characters don't laugh at jokes so the joke goes in, but because I can't see any change in face/no laughing, it doesn't register as a joke.

I've done research about Asperger's and thought it could be that, but I'm not sure.

I have many of the characteristics of it, such as obsessions and the social problems being the major factors, but I don't really have a love or need for routine like I've heard many Aspies do.

I'm confused. There is DEFINITELY something wrong with my ability to understand people and it stops me from living my life.

Does it sound like Asperger's? If not, what could it be? I HATE doctors and therapists/councellors so i'm reluctant to go to one. I have the feeling they'll just dismiss my problems as trivial/unimportant or tell me I'm over reacting, like everyone else did.

I'm sorry this is so long, I just have so many problems that I'm certain are connected and need to express them all. I'd really like any suggestions, help or advice you can offer. Thanks

"Off by heart"? Are you sure you don't mean "know by heart"? It was once thought that the HEART had the soul, and was the source of intelligence. I think THAT is where "know by heart"(to fully understand/remember something) comes from.

"Dodged the bullet" implies a bullet was headed towards you, and you made a motion that caused it to miss, or not adversly affect, you. It is used figuratively to cover similar situations. A disaster was headed towards your way, but didn't fully affect you adversly.

Reading between the lines means to find a hidden or implied/ulterior meaning. It probably refers to the idea of some making notes there.

BTW it DOES sound like you may have HFA or aspergers. The love for routine, etc... is a misnomer. It is really a hatred of change.

Steve

You bring up a lot of things that can be attributed as symptoms or characteristics of asperger's syndrome. Its definitly something to look deeper into. You seem to have a central audio processing disorder, or in otherwords, being differently abled to attach sounds to there place of origin. A nuerotypical with no hearing toubles will prioritize the sounds in order of importance. You seem to prioritize by chronological order. In other words, as soon as a different sound starts, your ears focus on it, which makes hearing what was happening before more difficult. Its actually a fairly common symptom of autistic spectrum disorder. You seem like you need to find answers and people here are more than welcome to help you. What you need to focus on is what you really need answered and what you can answer yourself. Not saying that bring up those phrases was a waste of time or anything, but those are things you can easily look up online to figure them out. Good luck in your quest for knowledge, you have a long way to go(just like the rest of us!).

Passion Patience and Perseverance

PS, SteveK, you my friend are the coolest person in the world! Short circuit was one of my favorite movies(both of them). Jonny 5 was the greatest character ever created!

Thank you Steve.

Well, the correct term may well be "know by heart" but everyone I knew said "off by heart" although, we were only kids, so I wouldn't be surprised if the phrase got slightly changed.

~~ "Dodged the bullet" implies a bullet was headed towards you, and you made a motion that caused it to miss, or not adversly affect, you. It is used figuratively to cover similar situations. A disaster was headed towards your way, but didn't fully affect you adversly" ~~

Ah, right, thank you. Before you explained it, I always saw it in the literal sense, but I knew that couldn't be right, so I was confused about that phrase for quite a while.

~~ "Reading between the lines means to find a hidden or implied/ulterior meaning. It probably refers to the idea of some making notes there." ~~

I see, but the problem is, I can't do this in social situations, whereas most people, can.

~~ "BTW it DOES sound like you may have HFA or aspergers. The love for routine, etc... is a misnomer. It is really a hatred of change." ~~

Oh, really? Well, that is something I DO have. I HATE change. I moved to Ireland 3-4 years ago, only lived there for a few months but it was INCREDIBLY hard to deal with. I'm still getting over it and adjusting to my new life in Liverpool, UK now (I lived in Wales before moving to Ireland) and it's been such a huge change that I fell into depression, which i'm still struggling to get out off.

Thank you for the help, and explaining to me what "dodged the bullet" meant.

Emoal6,

THANKS for the nice words!! !

Anniemaniac,

The problem with social interaction is an autistic/AS trait. I have learned a LOT, but it has only helped me avoid some trouble. I only WISH I could help you there.

Steve

There isn't a CURE. In a way, that is a GOOD thing. Some MIGHT want to put you on medicine, but I don't think anything will really help. You have to try harder, and try to fit in a bit better. Frankly, I think I tried too hard. I lost some oportunities because of it. I'm giving up. I'm going to try to revert back to be more like I was. If successful, I will do better in my job and hopefully get my business going again, and MAYBE live the rest of my days with more freedom, etc... If I never get anything better, and acheive what I was hoping for since possibly 4, SO BE IT.

HECK, at one of my last customers, a coworker had a personality much like mine used to be. He got alone FINE!

Steve

As for "know by heart" / "off by heart" I've heard it been said both ways, and even combined.

As in, "I know it off by heart".

I work in a place where I can't concentrate on my job sometimes if there are conversations going on and it's really annoying. But luckily I'm mostly on my own for that time. Mostly.