stiff upper lip(britishness)

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Hiya.ive just discovered me & family have aspies.as a brit it makes me wonder about wether some of these characteristics could be due to a high prevelance in the brit. Population.the royal family seem to have most of the hallmarks too.maybe it would account for the stereotypical english eccentric too(sherlock holmes etc).i would welcome any comment on this .p.s cannot thank wp enough.after many confusing years am well along to mu.
ch greater calm .

I've not heard that Britain has a higher % of Aspies than elsewhere. If there are more reported it could be because we have more research and diagnosing going on than elsewhere maybe, not that there actually are more here.

It's possible, but living in the UK for two years didn't really leave me with that impression. Certainly there were some accepting people, but in general there's not much tolerance for poor social skills or solitary behaviour, I found.

I think every culture has its eccentrics. Certainly there are a number of them around here, and the current king could pass for an aspie.

This assumes that most people in Britain are the same, when in fact this "stiff upper lip" stuff is just one of the many stereotypes Britain has to offer. What about the loudmouth drunkards and the yobs and the football hooligans and the chavs? Also, the United kingdom is 4 separate countries with their own cultures and stereotypes. I'm Scottish, so we tend to have a different set of stereotypes, including Chronically Depressed Alcoholic and Loud Overbearing Extrovert Who Can't Shut His Gob.

Sorry - homogenized "britishness" really annoys me .

Sorry i also was hesitant to use the word brit .i realise we are 4 nations too.thank god.didn't mean to merge us all together.mistake in terminology

I agree that it depends where you are in the UK, not just in terms of region but also socio-economic surroundings. Many areas do require quite a high level of conformity, particularly in the more working class/industrialised areas, but the UK also has a very strong tradition for celebrating eccentricity in some sectors of society.

For example, I'm very lucky where I am at present. I work in a scientific institution which is absolutely full of mad professor types and I live in an affluent part of town which is very Bohemian as a result. I'm not quite sure how we're managing to afford the rent here, but it's really worth it to try since I definitely notice the difference compared to some of the more insular areas that I've lived in. I feel I can finally be myself here, more than ever before.

In contrast, I'm not so sure that the same thing does exist in Sweden, or at least not so accessibly. I'm aware there must be subcultures in places like Stockholm or Göteborg, but I reckon the same can't be said for most of the top two thirds of the country where there is a definite and deep running requirement for social conformity.

Don't get me wrong, I absolutely adore Sweden (it feels like my real home), but part of what I adore there is that the rules of social engagement are so clear and unmoving that I'm confident that I know exactly what they are and generally go through the motions without a hitch (whereas in the UK I avoid them wherever possible). However, it's noticeable that very few people even dare to weave tablecloths in colours other than those communally chosen at the local vävstuga [weaving cottage], hence everyone has very similar furnishings. Of course, I am still talking about up north, so things are probably quite different there.

funny you mention that. the other week a british lecturer said in lecture about autism/asperger when introducing people with AS: "just imagine the british male"

Thankyou dvvv .that was what i meant to imply .didn't mean to kick off a nationalist debate.

And probably also depends on chance. It was mostly white-collar middle class types in London I encountered and I found most of them to be very conformist.

Seems we've had very different experiences on both ends.



I think that phenomenon occurs anywhere on the planet that has a major university or other academic centre. It certainly does everywhere I've been able to observe.





I think it's mostly about urban vs. rural rather than latitude. Places like Luleå, a major university town, can get quite Bohemian even if they're way up north. But of course, the north is pretty sparsely populated, so you're going to see more of the rural side of things.

I got the conformist treatment (mostly from my peers, though) a lot growing up in a place of about 2K people not very far from Göteborg. I can (now) see the bucolic appeal that made my parents move there, but I'm not sorry I left.



Maybe you could teach me a few things, then.



That particular example does not sound familiar, so it could be something limited to the rural north indeed.



I'm finding it to be an interesting exchange of observations. I don't have that much invested in my nationality that I'd get nationalist over it.

Seems we have, but that doesn't surprise me so much. To be honest, I'm glad to hear that you have found detectable levels of eccentricity in at least some areas of Sweden, it gives me renewed hope for attempting to live there properly one day.


Not so much here, I'm in a standalone institution which isn't part of a university so the local area isn't academically eccentric. In fact, I believe it may be more to do with a high number of retired rockstars and actors. Not quite what I'm looking for personally, but it means no-one even blinks when they see a 50+ male walking a toy dog whilst wearing luminous orange trousers, giant sunglasses and a ponytail. So anything goes which is really nice. I feel I can wear my favourite fluffy green Snufkin-esk (Snusmumriken) hat without attracting unwanted attention.

I lived in York for a while too, right near the university. Although there was definitely a vibrant university culture if you knew where to go, it still shocked me to find an undercurrent of insular racism. I couldn't handle it there. I was able to wear rainbow clothing for the first time ever (forbidden in some parts of London) so self expression was great, but it was like the majority of people had never looked outside the city walls to see what was in the world outside and I came across some horrible attitudes.


Fair point, I'm aware of something similar in Umeå. My primary experience of Sweden is Övik which is arguably one of the biggest backwaters of them all. But the local conformity has its good side too, I enjoy hopping between London and Övik and getting the benefit of both extremes.


Well, I gather we're a little old fashioned in our family now, but in short it's this:

1. Friends/relatives arrive, big communal greetings are made with clear requirements for hugs or handshakes depending on relationship. No need to dance about wondering if we're going to be formal and British with firm handshakes or Continental/French with awkward kissing of cheeks (1, 2 or shockingly maybe even 3(!) times with unexpected bashing of noses in between) as in the UK.

2. As soon as greetings are over, run away and put the coffee on. Train to become a coffee making artiste of the highest calibre as a means of securing responsibility for this task during any social engagement (it took me many years to learn to make a pot of coffee, but I was shockingly fast once I realised how useful it could be).

3. Spend time locating attractive plate, napkins, doilies etc., be sure to look "busy". Find cookies, biscuits, cake and arrange attractively on plate. Spend time defrosting buns or slicing cake to get it "just-so".

4. Begin carrying cups, saucers, cakes, coffee, milk etc. to table. Deliberate over details. Let the others sit at the table and talk.

5. Eventually there's nothing more to do, so sit down and join the party. But by this point they've established a group dynamic and are chatting happily. Plaster look of polite interest on face with occasional nodding/smiling and speak only when spoken to. Watch food and drinks supplies and volunteer to replenish whenever necessary.

In this manner I always come across as being completely involved in the get-together without ever having to initiate or maintain conversation (I hope anyway). Obviously, this only works when entertaining at home, traditional Swedish style. Luckily that's pretty much the only option in Övik since there's not really anywhere else worth going.

The UK is much harder since most interactions seem to revolve around pubs. Then the first issue is buying drinks. It's against the rules to buy just for yourself, so do you buy a round for everyone (usually too expensive) or do you offer drinks to just a few, in which case who and how do you remember (or even understand) what was requested? It's a mine field right from the very start and I hate it.