Some Advice: Could be the boldest thing I've ever done

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Here's my situation: I have always been a very passive person who usually runs from confrontation whenever possible (that doesn't mean I'm not in confrontation occasionally, but this is not my fault; It's because my condition tends to lead to bullying, which leads to conflict just by me trying to preserve a minimum of dignity).

But the situation is that I've recently been diagnosed with High-Functioning Autism, and I am a second year law student on my law school's Law Review, and I'm thinking about applying for the editorial board.

Basically, getting selected to law review in law school (after the first year) is a huge, huge deal, and it makes getting a job much easier. Then, for the third year, students on law review apply for editorial board positions (the majority who apply get one). I'm kind of afraid to apply because I'm afraid I will get rejected by people I know (the past/outgoing editorial board). There's one male member who looks at me kind of weird, like he thinks I'm high or mentally unstable, and once told a female member at a party at his house to talk to him if I ever made her uncomfortable after she hit on me (this is ridiculous -- she told me and then proceeded to call him an a**hole).

To get to the point, my thought is to swallow my apprehension and apply anyway and explain my condition at the beginning of the interview with my iphone secretly recording the whole thing in case someone says something discriminatory (in which case I'll take it to the university disciplinary board). I'll say (but more informally, not scripted):

"Before, we get started I'd like to preempt an issue that might come up. I was hesitant to even apply for this position because I was afraid I might get judged for superficial things like walking funny, talking funny, not having facial expressions, or being quiet. Well I'm not on drugs, and I've never done drugs, and I'm completely capable as my work the past year shows. I have been diagnosed with high-functioning autism and have worked very hard to get where I am today. So, if you're inclined to judge me for any reason related to my condition, I'd like you to explain clearly how it is essential for the job."

Doing something like this is a huge huge deal since I have a lot of social anxiety; I'll make sure to take beta blockers beforehand. But I am tired of being discriminated against for no good reason, and I'd like to take a stand in a situation that seems to hold few consequences.

This isn't an actual "job," and I'm only here for another year, after which I'm moving across the country, so I'm not sure what the downside risk is besides social repercussions (not that I have much of a social life anyway, so even that is hard to see as a "downside").

You've already said you have very little to lose if this goes wrong so as difficult as it may be you might have to just go for it. Give it your best shot and if it doesn't work out who cares? You're moving across the country anyway.

I know that's easier said than done. How have you dealt with confrontation anxiety before?

As far as what you plan on saying goes, it sounds pretty good to me. I'm not the best at refining things but I can't think of a better way of saying it.

Would it ease your anxiety to rehearse it? I know you don't want to say it in a way that sounds scripted but if having a memorized script will ease your anxiety maybe the benefit is worth it.

If it does sound scripted maybe it will highlight your HFA in a subtle way and even make you seem more qualified. I don't know law but the way you have it written gets the point across very efficiently, and precisely. It would be a good way to format an argument in an essay I'm not sure if it would be just as good for an opening/closing statement or if it would fit anywhere else in the legal profession.


It may sound a bit weird or awkward if said so informally but at the same time it demonstrates certain communication skills. Whether or not those communication skills are relevant for the position you are applying for you would know more about that than I would. It also highlights your HFA if you talk in a very formal way even if you would doing it intentionally/not trying to avoid it in this case.


The formal scripted approach has it's benefits. There are reasons to avoid it and be more informal (mainly because it sounds a bit weird) but I'd definitely consider sticking to a more formal sounding script intentionally to ease anxiety, demonstrate skills, and reinforce the fact that you do have Autism.


Either way it's your decision but I must say you are well organized with what you've got.


Your anxiety is your biggest obstacle in this situation where you have nothing to lose. What you really need to do is just go for it. Use whatever strategies you have to overcome it and focus on the task rather than the outcome.

i want to share something ive learned.

in quantum psychology, it is suggested that the whole universe exists only in your own head because you process its existence in your own head. same goes for the world, others and yourself. the existence of those things is know inside of your head.

using this as a foundation for understanding, i would not want you to extrapolate this one persons view of you to a whole body of people (the others involved in the interview/decision making). another way to say it is, if you are in a room with two people, how many people are in the room?

the answer is not three. it is nine. each person has in their own mind a reality of the two other people and also themselves. that is to say, what if you do not strike the others making the decision as an 'odd person' or 'on drugs.' to put a thought out there that would not have otherwise occurred to them is damaging to you.

somedays at work, when i am feeling extra weird and interacting with a staff member, i have to actively remind myself that they dont know how weird i feel, they dont know how uncomfortable i am or what kind of difficulty i may be having. sure, they could get some sort of idea, but they dont know. and if i proceed on with being myself (confident after this self-soothing) then things work out.

sure, there is a threshold. i am saving the autism bomb for if i ever need it (should i be threatened with termination or a real threat). before then, some may call me 'different' but soon (it is a new job) they will also being saying 'but he gets the job done.'

law review is hugely important to schools. it benefits them in the long-run. remember that. they need competent editors to make them look good and produce the body of reviews necessary to be seen as a successful program. they wont care if you're a talking wombat, provided you can provide what they are looking for in your work.

Well, given that your only downside is "potential" social repercussions, which you are prepared to live with, then why not?

While I think you are wise to have some record of the review, is a recording that the board is unaware of admissible? How many people are on the board and is there anyone present that you feel would provide objective witness? Are you registered with disabilities and, if so, would you be able to request a representative to attend? These are just thoughts.

I hope you go for it, and I hope a hundred times more you get the position. If not, I hope at the least your confidence increases many fold according to your courage.

Best of luck!

Sounds like the only fear you should have is the potential regret for not going for it. Great position to be in.