How much of the negative aspie traits be corrected?
The whole "empathy" thing is a bit of a lie. What you could do is become better at reading body language. I read all the body language books at my local book store; they all helped tremendously. All of these traits can be corrected with alot of hard work. You can learn how to modulate your voice by taking singing lessons or joining a choir. Motor skills can be learned by playing sports or playing an instrument. You don't have to be good at it, but if you practice every day you'll see yourself improve. Dancing also helps with coordination.
Here are a few books I recommend: The Definitive Book of Body Language and What Every BODY is Saying
It takes alot of positive attitude and determination. You'll succeed as long as you're patient with yourself. Don't expect all these skills to develop in a day; it will take much longer than that.
_________________
Here's to the crazy ones. The misfits. The rebels. The troublemakers. The round pegs in the square holes. The ones who see things differently.
It's up to you really. Though I personally think that no aspie should need to be fixed. It's really about what aspects of yourself you want to improve on. Actually I think we're actually good with detail than people give us credit for. It's our ability to translate it for NT knowledge that is difficult. The same could also be said for empathy in a way.
-If you have a good memory, you can remember certain phrases and acts to use in response to certain queries and emotional situations; trial and error and/or by watching others (works well enough for said situations). It's an act, yeah, but it can help you get through some things
-You can write out lists for executive dysfunction (doesn't really work I've found)
-By spending a set amount of time on your special interest, and then some time on something else, you can get some things done outside of such (30 minutes on, 30 minutes off, for example; can't be too long away from the interest though..., which is why I use 30 minutes)
-Using routines, day in day out, to help with self-care and chores
That's what I've learnt.
Absolutely nothing helps with my coordination.
Anyway, I've found I get very little benefit from attempting to "improve" my weaknesses.
Instead, I've used my creativity to find ways to work around them when possible, and my new found self-awareness to realize when I need to stop and take a break.
_________________
"If we fail to anticipate the unforeseen or expect the unexpected in a universe of infinite possibilities, we may find ourselves at the mercy of anyone or anything that cannot be programmed, categorized or easily referenced."
-XFG (no longer a moderator)
I spent my early years trying to correct my behaviour. As I get older, my attitude has become "F**k it, I'm going to behave the way that is natural for me." This approach is working. I told everyone that I have ASD and I don't modify myself anymore. If people don't like me fine, but people are actually quite accepting.
In short . . . screw modification. It takes too much energy; and frankly, there's nothing wrong with the way I am naturally. People can accept me or not; but at least it's the real me.
Here are a few books I recommend: The Definitive Book of Body Language and What Every BODY is Saying
It takes alot of positive attitude and determination. You'll succeed as long as you're patient with yourself. Don't expect all these skills to develop in a day; it will take much longer than that.
Post like this never go well on autism forums. I do agree with what you are saying. My negative traits of been corrected too. I have less sensory issues, me walking on the treadmill improved my balance so doing warm ups in track were a lot easier. I also hear pottery can help improve your motor skills so I took that class when I was eight. I did gymnastics and that also helps with your balance. Even stuff they do in occupational therapy helps too. I was also in choir and I did voice lessons when I was eight. My mother had me take fun classes to help me out. But it was all actually therapy and I didn't know it. She didn't want me to feel like I was broken so I was in fun classes. I knew voice lessons were to help me out with speaking because my mom told me it would help me out. So I decided to take the class. Of course me trying to fix the way I speak didn't help with the bullying and it didn't seem to impress anyone. I know now bullies don't even care because they will just find other excuses to not like you and to just bully you. Me stuttering and running out of breath while speaking (nothing to do with AS of course) was just a reason for them to pick on me. But did I waste my time with that class? No, it just made speaking easier for me. All I know is, don't even try and impress people, they do not care. They just find excuses to pick on you or to not like you. If there is something you don't like about yourself or if you notice it's giving your problems, try and fix it then but you are only doing it for you, not for anyone else. You are not doing it to impress them. You are doing it for you and to make your life easier.
_________________
Son: Diagnosed w/anxiety and ADHD. Also academic delayed and ASD lv 1.
Daughter: NT, no diagnoses. Possibly OCD. Is very private about herself.
btbnnyr
Veteran

Joined: 18 May 2011
Gender: Female
Posts: 7,359
Location: Lost Angleles Carmen Santiago
Entek
Pileated woodpecker

Joined: 4 Nov 2012
Age: 46
Gender: Male
Posts: 198
Location: UK, East Anglia, Near Lowestoft
Not sure if its the Aspie or the ADD, but personaly trying to intigrate new routines for helping with problems doesnt work because i either forget the new routine, mislay the paper with it on, or cant motivate myself enough to do it.
Having said that - What every BODY is saying - is a fantastic book and helped me for about 2 weeks after i read it because i started looking at body langauge everywhere. Then i stopped because i realised that i didnt actually give a toss what ppl were actually doing anyway
It's a cost v. benefit analysis.
Does the pain and discomfort of trying to "improve" outweigh the negligible benefits I experience? Usually not.
For example, I've played women's rugby, done Brazilian ju-jitsu, and even went through friggen military bootcamp.......but my motor skills still suck. What else do I have to endure in a fruitless quest to "improve?"
_________________
"If we fail to anticipate the unforeseen or expect the unexpected in a universe of infinite possibilities, we may find ourselves at the mercy of anyone or anything that cannot be programmed, categorized or easily referenced."
-XFG (no longer a moderator)
Sweetleaf
Veteran

Joined: 6 Jan 2011
Age: 35
Gender: Female
Posts: 35,157
Location: Somewhere in Colorado
I don't really see how any of that would really help too much....not so sure being able to perfectly mimic neurotypical behavior would really make my life any better I feel lost enough as is without faking all the time. To each their own though I suppose.
_________________
Metal never dies. \m/
emimeni
Veteran

Joined: 28 Sep 2012
Age: 35
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,065
Location: In my bed, on my laptop
Does the pain and discomfort of trying to "improve" outweigh the negligible benefits I experience? Usually not.
For example, I've played women's rugby, done Brazilian ju-jitsu, and even went through friggen military bootcamp.......but my motor skills still suck. What else do I have to endure in a fruitless quest to "improve?"
I agree with the general premise of this. It's a cost vs. benefit analysis--that, and you have to be doing it for yourself, because it makes your life easier.
_________________
Living with one neurodevelopmental disability which has earned me a few diagnosis'
Similar Topics | |
---|---|
Negative consequences of getting rid of added sugar? |
01 Jun 2025, 7:00 am |
Could these traits suggest mild autism or Asperger’s?? |
29 Jun 2025, 3:14 pm |
If you're aspie and you know it, flap your hands! |
09 Jul 2025, 9:41 pm |
Worried I've lost my aspie friend and he's being manipulated |
29 May 2025, 8:54 pm |