Trouble recognizing the flow of conversation?

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FishStickNick
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05 Jan 2013, 12:18 am

Here's a problem I have: I often find I have difficulty feeling the "flow" of a conversation. And as a result, I often end up interrupting people mid-sentence, or talking over them. Other times, I kind of talk at people without recognizing right away that they're not paying attention--or even more awkwardly, that they're starting a conversation with someone else.

(As an aside, I don't have this particular problem in casual conversation because, well, I didn't realize until fairly recently that I'm supposed to engage the other person in conversation and not rely on the other person to lead the entire conversation. :oops: )

Does this sort of thing happen to anyone else?



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05 Jan 2013, 12:25 am

Every single second of every day I'm around people



Fawlty
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05 Jan 2013, 8:40 am

Yes.



DanDaMan
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05 Jan 2013, 9:26 am

FishStickNick wrote:
Here's a problem I have: I often find I have difficulty feeling the "flow" of a conversation. And as a result, I often end up interrupting people mid-sentence, or talking over them. Other times, I kind of talk at people without recognizing right away that they're not paying attention--or even more awkwardly, that they're starting a conversation with someone else.

(As an aside, I don't have this particular problem in casual conversation because, well, I didn't realize until fairly recently that I'm supposed to engage the other person in conversation and not rely on the other person to lead the entire conversation. :oops: )

Does this sort of thing happen to anyone else?


Ye i do that to



Tyri0n
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05 Jan 2013, 5:28 pm

Oh for sure. What you describe is more like what I would call a timing issue. I think it has to do with not being able to read nonverbal cues.

For those who play Braid, it's like trying to time yourself to bounce off one of the monster's heads if you are unable to see or don't notice the progress of the cannon fuse which fires the monsters and alerts you before they are coming out.



TheValk
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05 Jan 2013, 5:32 pm

Apologising for interrupting and showing interest in what the other person was trying to say seems to be effective enough for me.



Sylvastor
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05 Jan 2013, 6:55 pm

You can add me to the list of those who have absolutely no timing when they want to say something in a conversation and often start to interrupt someone or are interrupted. After more than three tries I usually give up and am busy with my mind rather than trying to continue that.


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Mirror21
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05 Jan 2013, 8:58 pm

I have this same issue and apologize for it often. Problem is ppl do get tired of "I'm sorry"



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05 Jan 2013, 9:39 pm

I often have this too. If I do, I usually say "Oh sorry, you go" or the person will let me continue on with what I started saying, and then when I've finished, I'll say "Oh sorry, what were you trying to say before?"



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05 Jan 2013, 9:44 pm

Sometimes I do that too, but with people of my age it just doesn't seem to work. Maybe one of the reasons I prefer to talk to adults.


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Marybird
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05 Jan 2013, 10:05 pm

TheValk wrote:
Apologising for interrupting and showing interest in what the other person was trying to say seems to be effective enough for me.

^^This works for me too.



jagatai
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06 Jan 2013, 4:08 am

The most common problem for me is that I can't find an entry point in a conversation and often by the time there is a long enough break that I feel I can interject something, the subject of discussion has moved on and what I planned to say is irrelevant.

When I do interupt, (something I do only amongst friends) I have learned to make my point, apologize for the interruption and try to make sure the interrupted speaker gets a chance to speak. I think I manage how I interupt people reasonably well, but it's taken me around 40 odd years to figure it out.


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06 Jan 2013, 7:24 am

I interrupt a lot. It's like when I get something in my head I just have to say it or I'll forget, because I feel really angry if I forget what I wanted to say. I have trouble knowing when to speak too, on the phone is really difficult.


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Logicalmom
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06 Jan 2013, 12:07 pm

Oooooohhh, yes! :wink:


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Chloe33
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08 Jan 2013, 9:59 am

FishStickNick wrote:
Here's a problem I have: I often find I have difficulty feeling the "flow" of a conversation. And as a result, I often end up interrupting people mid-sentence, or talking over them. Other times, I kind of talk at people without recognizing right away that they're not paying attention--or even more awkwardly, that they're starting a conversation with someone else.

(As an aside, I don't have this particular problem in casual conversation because, well, I didn't realize until fairly recently that I'm supposed to engage the other person in conversation and not rely on the other person to lead the entire conversation. :oops: )

Does this sort of thing happen to anyone else?


I always have had a problem with interrupting people, and the flow of conversation just confuses me sometimes. I tried to look up a definition for flow of conversation, just to have a definition. Since i was small, i've had the problem with flow of convo and interrupting people.
It's hard since there's all these NT social things we're supposed to figure out, yet i notice a lot NTs who don't follow convo rules either.



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08 Jan 2013, 10:09 am

Yes.
It is most frustrating when there are people talking about something I would like to share something on but they never leave any pauses between answering each other so I end up not being able to say anything since to be able to add something I must talk over them so they never hear me :?