Friends, Party & You

Post Reply New Topic

So, I have a small set of friends (3) and they are all now in this "party"-phase of their late teenage years, which includes:

• Party
• Disco
• Drinking
• Drinking
• Oh, and did I mention drinking?

Of course, I am no person for this lifestyle, so since about a year I didn't do anything with any of my friends because their focus on that topic is becoming bigger and bigger. I still like to talk to them in school and we get along well - except for this topic.

I know this is just a phase they are going through but I fear this could ruin the friendship as I cannot and do not really want to participate in their events, they are tiring to me and I see no point in torturing myself. They are my only friends and only people I can definitely trust aside from my family. Back then I used to meet and do something with them several times a season (usually always just meeting with just one person except for birthday(s)).
Friends come and go, I know, but I'm not really good at making and keeping friendships and those are loyal friends I had for quite a few years now, one is even a friend I have since elementary school, that's why I am afraid.

Does or did anybody else experience this and what did you do to keep the friendship alive?

Last edited by Sylvastor on 06 Jan 2013, 6:18 pm, edited 1 time in total.

The only thing I can say they will calm down on the parties when they get older. Try to keep in contact and when they calm down have more contact and do more again.

Drinking should not be a factor in anything. Your friends should understand that you do not drink and should accept you for that. Unfortunately it seems like drinking is a social obligation and you would have to drink just to fit in. I've never been to parties either and I also do not drink but just be yourself and if you feel uncomfortable, you can leave but be open with them otherwise they won't know how you feel.

Have you tried to tell them how uncomfortable you are at the parties?

Thanks for all the input!

Murderface, I hope this will happen as soon as possible!

emimeni, no, I didn't. I never had to before and I never did because I thought they would not understand me, but this seems the only logical move so I'll probably do that. I guess I should first hint at that and see how their reactions will be before I just say straight away I hate to party.

MacGyverAspie, well, drinking at all is only a problem from my point of view, if it is done in such masses as they do it (I regulary hear stories of puking, being drunk and such, things which I am proud I didn't experience yet ) and as often as they do it. I myself will take a small sip of champagner or wine when there is a special event (other than that I do not see any reason to), but not any more than max. 1 glass of something for many reasons (aware of the health risks and because I have a chronical illness - which is most likely a result of too much stress in my earlier school days - which drinking could worsen, I prefer to stay rather healthy - but I might also stop to even drink a tiny bit on special events, like new years).

How do you know that? There are scads of college age people and older who "party" with alcohol often and excessively. I honestly don't notice that drinking habits drop off as time elapses. And my 20-something daughters tell me that the drinking behavior of their friends (post college) is worrisome to them because of the quantity and frequency. Note: my daughters party with alcohol.


Really? I guess I'm just not seeing it. I hope you're right, though.

Well, I based my "phase judgement" on my brother's friends.
They had that too he said and they calmed down with the partying, but then again, there is an eight years difference between us, mentality and "teenage trends" could have changed and media even accuse the current teenage generation of drinking way too much, but then again, the media often dramatize a lot...
Of course I can also be wrong and they might stay that way as well, which I hope will not be the case.

Do young people not go to the cinema any more? That would be an ideal party free activity you could suggest, maybe once a month, so you don't lose touch.

i'll have to back this post
though some will grow out of it others will procede and some will ruin there lives over it.
20% will taper off
60% will keep it up recreationaly(SP)
20% will drink too much affecting there lives negitvely
rough percentages?