No dreams, ambition?

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I keep hearing people talk about dreams, what they're living for, what their ambition is, where they plan their career to go. And I wonder if this is an AS thing or just me, because I don't have dreams like that. I don't have a fixed goal that I'm fighting for, I just can't bring up enough interest in one thing. When I think what I want for the future I think of unspecific things, like "a calm job without stress, some friends, not living in a big city". But I don't have something like a dream job or anything I would be ready to work hard for. I have no career ambition, I don't care for fame or social status, and there is no job that sounds so good that it would be my dream option.

Do you feel the same? Or is it just me being aimless and confused?

Please can we lay off the contradictions here? A few months ago there was something about Aspies have more ambitions than NTs because of our talents and ability to focus on our special interests and that NTs prefer more mundane. Now it's the other way around.

It just depends on the type of person you are.

I used to have dreams but then I put my hand through them and they all disappeared

I used to dream big, but then I realized I wasn't as big as my dreams.

Just a small guy living in a small world...and loving every minute of it!

What are your favorite interests or hobbies?
Since you do mention a "calm job with stress, friends, not living in a big city" you do have an idea of what you want, which is a good thing.
Do you like to read? Play video games? Depending on what you like to do, from there you could think of job ideas.

Ambitions and dreams might happen at various times for different people.

If you truly don't have any motivation for trying different things, is it due to maybe ADHD or patience issues? I have those type issues which is why i bring it up. Sometimes i need to kick myself in the butt to start a project yet once i get started i'm fine.

Also sometimes lack of motivation can be depression caused (at least for me it is sometimes)

I can actually relate, Sanctus. I used to have ambitions as a child and as a teenager, and thought I was destined for 'big things', either likely in the field of science. But after a couple of tougher years recently, I've arrived at a new mode where I'm just content with having my bread every day. A lot of people my age that I see around me have their dreams, usually pursuing a higher education, a meaningful career, and many of them are surprised that I can be content with what I have which they perceive as 'little'. They think that my job can't possibly bring me satisfaction, they're surprised that I don't want to continue studying, they're also surprised that I have little interest in socialising, but I'm happy this way, and it's taken me a while to kind of make peace with that.

I think there are many people your age, with or without AS, who don't know what they want. Things like that can change easily. Maybe something might happen in 6 months' time that changes your mind completely. So, I don't think you need to worry about not having any special interest at the moment.

You study at the moment in the UK now, right? So, you must have picked something to study. Maybe it might develop into your career. Never know.

Having said that, as someone suggested, lack of interest could be due to depression or something. Then, you might do something about it.

I have had many things that I was interested in. But my indecisiveness and negative thinking kept me from pursuing any one of them. I am still indecisive and I'm really sick of it. I'm recently thinking that maybe it's caused by my OCD, AS or something. Being a perfectionist keeps you from even starting something. So, despite what I said earlier, maybe some disorder (AS etc) could contribute to one's lack of ambition/dreams.

Ditto.

I think that the only dream I've found extremely important is to find someone to be with. I don't much care for being famous for my hobbies, like writing or drawing or anything; so long as I can enjoy them by myself, I'll be fine. All I want is some job that I'll be able to live off of that I won't find myself overly stressed about.

You mention that you don't have dreams, but you mention some in your own post! Having a dream doesn't have to involve specifics, nor does it have to involve shooting for the absolute top of the ladder. For some people, their dream in life is simply to live in a trailer in the woods and work 9-5 at the local shooting range. For others, it's to ascend the corporate ladder and become a cutthroat investor who scoffs at all forms of morality and justice. It just depends on personal priorities. You say that you want a calm job, with no stress, and have a few friends/not live in a big city. That is just as valid a dream as any I've ever heard .

My problem is people say my dreams are unrealistic. "High level figure skater and Olympic lifter who owns a R32 Nissan Skyline and lives in Japan." I don't know if I ever grew out of the stage of childhood where you stop believing you can grow up to be like Goku from Dragonball Z. I don't know if this is a bad thing or not. I have very little interest in money, only as much as it helps me accomplish my other goals. "Career" I have very little interest in, too, only would like it if relates to my goals or if it makes money to pursue my goals easier. I basically live my life trying to find ways to spend the least amount of money as possible so I can have the most fun. So instead of going out to eat, I cook simple foods up myself usually, I buy almost all my clothes used, buy most of my stuff used, and I'm totally OK with finding things in the trash. To some people, this seems an unambitious lifestyle, but I only wish to pursue my own ambitions.

When I was a kid, I wanted to be President of the United States. Sadly, knowing what I know, it is impossible for this to happen now. I have downgraded my ambitions every year since I was about 12. Now, I really don't have many except the ones I've already set myself up for (graduate law school, work a stable government job, work on finding a cure for my social difficulties). I guess finding a cure for autism would be my dream if I were a scientist. Unfortunately, I'm just a lawyer, so all I can do is sue people.

I have even less ambitions than you do. Know what I want? To move in with somebody that I can get along with, and who can take care of me.

This is not all that bad to aspire to, though everyone with the capacity to do such always want something in return

Well, this would be pretty nice, too. Though the main aspect of care I need is emotional care and someone who can tolerate my mood swings.

Oh, that dreaded question in job interviews: "Where do you see yourself in five years?" I don't even know where I see myself fifteen minutes from now. But you can't say that. You've got to have some kind of ambition or goal or dream, or else you'll be roundly criticized and berated by those around you... even though, chances are, they're not doing much at all with their lives. But NT hypocrisy and double standards are another topic altogether...

What's my goal? To finish my book or TV show or whatever I'm doing in peace while being left the f**k alone. The people around me don't make it easy.

I thought about this some more, and I think I do have some dreams after all, mainly:

- become the singer of an acoustic band (preferably celtic folk)
- become a singing teacher.

Yeah, I love singing, I guess. The thing is, I don't have any kind of official singing education. I had a few singing lessons myself a few years ago, but that's it. I know that I'm good, but... I won't be accepted for any classical training either, because I can't play piano and don't know enough about music theory. And I don't think it's a job that earns enough to live.