I wish I could lay in my yard
AspieWolf
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Joined: 25 Apr 2010
Age: 78
Gender: Male
Posts: 657
Location: Out of my mind. Back in 10 minutes.
When in doubt - do it. Other people's opinions don't matter one bit. Only your opinion matters. Go for it! If they don't like it, or think it's wierd, so what? That's their problem. Maybe they are the ones who are wierd and not you.
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"A man needs a little madness...or else...he never dares cut the rope and be free."
Nikos Kazantzakis, ZORBA THE GREEK
Some of us just have a little more madness than others!
My guess is you live in a small town, or a culturally conservative neighborhood. Up here in canada, people don't give a fluff, they'll think your foreign, on drugs, or just a tree hugging hipster.
I use to live a life of total fear in small town canada, however after hanging with immigrants and poor folk in the city, I couldn't give a dam what anyone else thinks. As long as I'm polite and considerate.
It's strange how one can do such a u turn, but after a while you realize people who judge other peoples actions for simply being strange, are usually very bad people. And are never gonna be doing aspies any good.
Stoek, I am from small-town Canada,too. I grew up in a mill town, and it was mostly comprised of immigrants. For me, it was a good place to be "different". We had a lot of non-conformists, many in the area who moved out our way to escape the city. The town is flattened now.
Dear finger, I love the image of you laying on the lawn or looking out the window. I think of it as a beautiful photograph - it would make beautiful art. I wonder if that's what people think - maybe they see their own wish to escape and live through you. If you want, you could put a book beside you on the lawn - use a prop and then people will associate you laying out there as relaxing and reading. If you have a pet, you could look out the window together - you could hold a cat, for example ... or a stuffed toy cat as no one will know the difference from a little difference. But these ideas are only suggestions for your own comfort if you want. I used to stand and stare out the window - I sketched myself doing so - just watching the world go by
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Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds - Albert Einstein.
Last edited by Logicalmom on 11 Jan 2013, 4:43 pm, edited 1 time in total.
It is hard to do these things when you are sensitive to other people's thoughts, or when you have full self-awareness. I don't like being noticed, so I don't do these things what may attract attention of other people in a humiliating way. I know it's easy to say ''just do it, who cares what others think?'', but it's not always that simple to just block other people out and do what you want. I want to lay in my garden too, but people walk by and they gawk right into the garden, and I don't really want to be seen sprawled out across the lawn, even though there's nothing wrong with doing it, I still don't fancy strangers in the street seeing me laying on my lawn. I just wouldn't relax, especially when you get a hoard of teenagers walk by, they have to shout out stupid things and make you feel like an idiot. Once I was just laying on the sunbed in the garden reading a newspaper, and two teenage girls walked by and one of them delibrately let out a big scream, as though she was trying to make me jump or get my attention, all because they had had a problem with me relaxing in my own garden.
Yes, it is a sad world, being a place where you have to impress people. This is why being a highly self-aware Aspie is not good at all. I'd rather be an ASD person with low self-awareness.
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Female
Yes, it is a sad world, being a place where you have to impress people. This is why being a highly self-aware Aspie is not good at all. I'd rather be an ASD person with low self-awareness.
Oh my god, really? I've always felt I was really self aware, it's the only thing on my mind. Even when talking to people, I'm completely aware of what I'm doing or how I may come across through my body language. I spend so much time thinking about it, I don't keep track of the conversation. The worst thing is eye contact. Do I look directly at them? Look at them and look away? It actually strains my eyes to look into someone else's eyes, I wear glasses but I don't think it would play a part.
Actually, I fun thing I like to do is go out without my glasses. I'm blind as a bat and I can't see peoples faces until they are really close. I feel less self aware as I can't see other people and their reactions. I just did it 20 mins ago, I went out with a hoody and my sleeves rolled up (had nothing on underneath hah) but it's freezing cold, to the point where they're forcasting snow. I could see a few people look, but I just carried on about my business. I was actually really happy (and not cold)
Nice to know someone else has expressed this. I've researched for hours how to be less self aware and too no avail. But the thing about going out and laying in your yard, getting out there is the hardest bit. Once you're out, focus on what you want to do and ignore other people (take your glasses off if you wear them like me haha)
It does depend on the area you live in..
When i lived in NY suburbs people who literally glare and give nasty mean looks at me when they walked past.
These are the type of people who are like clones trying to keep up with a social mass media brainwashed rat race.
Now down south where i live, it's mostly rural. We have a lot of character here and people are less judgemental about things.
When i lived up North, i did go outside in the yard and have tanned on top the roof of the truck yet never felt comfy there. I would go outside mostly at night with my dog. We would just stand in the driveway for a half hour and zone. She was the sweetest dog i'd ever have, she would alert me if someone was coming.
Anyhow, down here i feel very comfortable going outside in my yard and i will garden an target shoot and do other hobbies outside.
It is a lot better, as up north i did not feel comfortable at all being outside especially alone in the yard.
SoftKitty
Veteran
Joined: 10 Oct 2012
Age: 39
Gender: Female
Posts: 581
Location: Prague, Czech republic
If you enjoy it, you do it and should not care what other people think. I am generally regarded as a freak in my town. I go and sit in the most improbable places in the nature to watch my surroundings.
I sit on trees, i roll in the grass, I pretend to play with a lighsaber while I am alone in the meadow (and catch people staring at me in disbelief when they happen to wander around the location ).
I once climbed the peak of our highest hill, I spread my arms and started screaming: "It´s f*****g beautiful!" When I got home, my mother told me that I was seen by local kids she was teaching at school, and they reported what I did to my mother. She looked very embarassed and said that I should stop behaving so strangely because it draws attention. I understand it, but I don´t care what other people think about me in that moments. I just want to enjoy the beauty of the moment. And that´s what matters to me. It´s my life, not theirs.
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-"Do you expect me to talk?"
-"No, Mr. Bond, I expect you to die!"
I do this, too! I'm not sure why I do it -- on a subconscious level it might be for similar reasons -- but it's fun and interesting. It almost feel like I'm in another world; the way lights and colors blur together is fascinating and beautiful.
Sorry to derail the conversation a bit, but I had to respond to that.
Aspies can all easily say to be theirselves and not worry about what other people think and just feel free to be how they want to be....but then Aspies get depressed when they get bullied for that specific reason, more so for those that kind of have social self-awareness but choose to live the ''I don't care what people think of me'' attitude. Obviously people can't help being bullied, like those of us who try our best to act normal and conform to NT standards but still get bullied, or those of us who are at the lower end of the spectrum that lack the ability to act appropriate, et cetera. But I'm saying about those with the attitude ''I don't care what everyone thinks of me, I'm going to act how I want'', then a group of people pick on them and they're like ''it is not fair getting bullied, I wanna die!''
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