An Autism Friendly Christmas?

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A lot of families, like our own, with (a) member(s) with an ASD find Christmas really difficult with lots of expectations of the season (family gatherings, changed routine, lots of noises, sights, smells) designed to make everyone happy, making them quite miserable, it doesn't work for them/their child/partner. I would love us to invent an Autism friendly Christmas and stick to that. What do you think it would be like?

Sleeping in late, not working, and doing whatever the heck we fancy.

Sounds good to me!, what about family gatherings, Christmas day revered routines, and how parents could make it all better for a child with an ASD. We can tend to muddle through because its what we have always done, and what we are expected to do, I would welcome a different blueprint to follow.

Call me a hipster, but to me having any routine at all to follow is too mainstream. Everyone has different things they like. In respect to people, including children, I would like to honour their interests by allowing them to do whatever they want to do... within legal limits of course. In the earlier post I did say to 'sleep in late and not work', but to be fair, someone who really loves their work would be better served by doing what they love, even if the rest of us consider it a bit odd.

There's no reason why familial love must be shown during Christmas, or why love to, say, a spouse should be isolated to Valentine's. Every day is a special day, and can potentially be the last day in your life. So I would like people to live so that they will have no regrets if there is no tomorrow for them - and no regrets if there IS a tomorrow for them (the far more likely scenario, really). Buy your kids' favourite meals when they're least expecting it. Give the person you love a hug when he/she looks down, to remind them that you'll always be with them. That sort of thing.

Life is too short to discount possibilities of making the people you love - especially yourself - happy.

If Christmas is special to you and your family for religious reasons, honour those reasons by doing what you believe in. If special for the holiday reasons, take a break. If for the shopping and gifts, then go out on a spree. There's no need to feel obligated to consider what others outside your family care about. They will take good enough care of themselves.

My Christmas is usually AS-friendly. Just a few quick visits to the relatives (unavoidable) and then the rest of it is spent at home (no guests). Peace and quiet

Saw the thread title, ignored it, then switched to my Twitter feed and found a Tweet from BBC Ouch stating "Tips for an Autism Friendly Christmas" leading to http://www.bbc.co.uk/blogs/ouch/2012/12/tips_for_an_autism-friendly_ch.html

Haven't read it, but seemed somewhat coincidental

Thanks YellowBanana, on more than my mind, I guess! Most guides are from parents perspectives, I was interested in hearing from individuals with Autism/Aspergers, what works for you.

I like how my wife's side of the family does it. It's a big huge buffet style dinner; takes place in several rooms; which are jammed full of around 60 people total, but I can dart off when i nee to in such a large group and not be missed.

Then the families break off into smaller nucleus's on Christmas morning an the present thing goes quick because everyone just starts unwrapping at the same time. Then it's tinker with your gift time in front of the tv; very casual and informal, where once again if someone goes away for a while, it's no big deal.

I guess ultimately that's what I like best, to be able to vanish as I wish whenever, and not have someone walking around calling my name looking for me ten minutes later; they're really laid back.

No small children allowed! They're too noisy.

I'm just kidding. I know that wouldn't be fair because the children and their parents are a part of the family and deserve to be at Christmas (or other holiday) celebrations. I have a Chanukkah dinner tonight and there are a lot of small kids in my dad's family who run around and make a lot of noise. I'm going to wear ear-plugs.

Okay a serious one would be don't get offended if autistic family members don't want to "try" everything at a dinner or don't like what you made because a lot of us have taste sensitivities or are picky eaters and are not trying to offend you.

A few years back, i believe they actually had (likely still do) Autism Friendly Santa times at malls;
Usually very early before the stores opened so that parents could bring kids before it was crowded and
supposedly they did stuff to help with the kids. I think several malls did this

http://www.bradenton.com/2012/12/03/430 ... antas.html

My dream Christmas would allow me to have a private little room containing my favorite meal supplies so that I could enjoy my routine and come out to be with the family otherwise. The hardest part for me is being expected to join in the family meal, which is usually something I don't really care for, such as barbeque. In fact, my happiness is basically based on my meal routines and the very specific foods I like (peanut butter sandwiches, etc.), so gatherings are tough. To make matters worse, I can't stand the strong smells of barbeque or, heaven forbid, a deep fryer being used.

A volume control for peoples' voices wouldn't hurt, either , especially when you're in a little house with your own family and those of your mother's 7 siblings.

Exactly this and since the routine and food stays almost 100% the same every year, I know what to expect.
And "family" gatherings are not even the case every year. It depends on whether my grandparents are here or not (they oscillate between home A and home B). If they are here, we celebrate Christmas at their home which is usually harder for me because we are more people then (6 in total) and because my grandfather has hearing issues, so others have to talk louder and he talks louder, which is of course more stressful for me.
If they aren't here, we celebrate Christmas at our home (then we're 4 in total, me, my brother and parents). The Christmas-routine stays the same.
The only thing that ever changes is the location (either our home or theirs) and whether the grandparents are present or not.

To me, an autism-friendly Christmas would be no dinners, no obligations to send cards and letters and no guilt when you don't, no parties, no gifts to give and receive (and no bills and no need to figure out what to do with all kinds of wonderful things that you don't really need, but have to keep and use to be polite), and leave me the F alone!! !!

Seriously, I'd rather just avoid the whole season .

Charles