Quantity & Quality of Friendships in People Dxed with AS

Post Reply New Topic

Hey WP! I felt like doing another poll concerning the quantity and quality of real-life friendships (not online) for people diagnosed with ASDs as well as their satisfaction with those friendships.

Four levels of friendship quality:
[1] High = 3 points
[A] Meeting up with them in person at least once a week to do things together outside of the school/work area.
[B] Frequently sharing personal feelings with each other.
[C] Knowing each other very well.
[2] Medium = 2 points
[A] Meeting up with them in person less often than once a week, but at least once per month to do things together outside of the school/work area.
[B] Occasionally sharing personal feelings with each other.
[C] Knowing each other fairly well.
[3] Low = 1 point
[A] Meeting up with them in person less often than once a month, but at least once per 6 months to do things together outside of the school/work area.
[B] Rarely sharing personal feelings with each other.
[C] Not knowing each other very well.
[4] Abysmal = 0 points
[A] Meeting up with them at the most once per 6 months to do things together outside of the school/work area.
[B] Never sharing personal feelings with each other.
[C] Not knowing each other at all.

Add the number of points earned in each of the categories [A], [B], and [C] that describe your friendships the best. Then divide that sum by 3. After that, round that number to the nearest whole integer and you'll get your general friendship quality level (GFQL).

If rounded average score is 3, then GFQL is high. If rounded average score is 2, then GFQL is medium. If rounded average score is 1, then GFQL is low. If rounded average score is 0, then GFQL is abysmal.

For me, personally, I have at least 2 friends and those friendships are of a high GFQL with which I am satisfied with.

I have only one long-distance friend, Chrissy. I am kind of satisfied. I wish I could see her more often.

Like I've been saying, 18 options and an IRS-like page of instructions on how to calculate something is not what people with executive function deficits are good at. Making these polls more simple would get better results. (Similar to the previous poll, I'm not diagnosed so I can't answer.)

...

I selected 1 friend low quality satisfied as the nearest option.

Basically, I have one lifelong school friend, but I can't see her as she lives overseas, I have one friend I have known quite a few years that I usually see once every couple of months and 1 friend/acquaintance who is a fellow parent I met in the home-educating community that we met up quite a few times to socialise our children, but we haven't met up for quite a while now just spoken on the phone a few times. There was no option for this situation.

All of my closest friends live far away. My best friend is an online friend, and we have never met in person. But I don't need face-to-face contact to have very close friendships. And I also don't need face-to-face contact to be satisfied with my friendships. So long as I communicate once a week or more with my closest friends via the Internet or telephone, I'm good.

Have only 1 friend - Medium quality - Not satisfied.

I have no friends for a long time.

I wish I had maybe one friend and I hoped they shared the same interests like science and astronomy.

I have two friends. One was pretty good, though we didn't do stuff outside of work. She moved away five years ago and we keep in touch on the phone every few weeks, but it's not enough.

My other friend used to be high quality. It's online only, but it was enough, there was lots of IMing and phone calls and we have shared interests. He's the only friend I ever had who felt the same way about these interests. Plus, he's an extrovert and was easy to talk to since he carried the conversations. Unfortunately, changes in his life coupled with my Aspie has led to awkwardness and misunderstandings and confusion, which has kind of changed our friendship for the worse, which I'm very sad about. I keep hoping things will get back to normal with us. I have to hope so, but right now I'm feeling very unsatisfied with both my friendships and can't seem to make more locally or online.

It isn't easy. Some people have a great time with casual, shallow friendships, but I don't find that satisfying, more a waste of time.

I have three friends (one of which I consider my best friend), but we drift apart because they just started to reach or reached the peak of their active party life which I hope will be soon over, so at the very moment I am not really satisfied with it and the only option to even interact with them would be cinema (but most of modern cinema doesn't appeal to me), so eventually it could happen that in half a year we won't have anything common and that would mean I would be friendless (after school, the paths often part and I'm done with it in less than half a year)...

Scored below 1 point (ca. 0.6667), rounded 1.

My social life is the most balanced I've ever been nearing my mid Thirties.

I have a partner who satisfies my need for social interaction, as well as a couple of people I talk to at work. My partner is on medication and has a long commute so thankfully doesn't push me into socialising and going out.

An interest in politics a few years ago has gained me a friend who lives locally, we are not terribly close but it's nice to occasionally have someone to go to places with. I also have a friend in the autism field who lives locally and who I see every couple of months to talk about autism. On top of that I have a casual friend I see every few months who is a foreigner like myself and now works in the area.

Back home I also have three friends I see once a year, we always do similar things like with one I always have pizza at the same place, another always Starbucks etc.

I am pleased with this balance even if I am not that emotionally close or "gossip close" with any of them.

Just based on the 38 people who participated in this poll, after performing logistic regression for the single variables 'Quantity of Friends' and 'Quality of Friends', it turns out that only 'Quality of Friends' is significant at the alpha = 0.05 level in determining whether or not one is satisfied with their current friendships in the sense that higher quality indicates higher satisfaction. Based on this poll, it seems that friendship quality is more important in determining friendship satisfaction than friendship quantity.

No friends and very satisfied. I have recently discontinued the two friendships I had, and it feels like a burden has been lifted off my shoulders. I feel like I can breathe again, and I'm pretty much in the same state as I was 5 years ago, being friendless doing my own thing, but with ONE difference: I'm not longing for friendship or wondering 'what it would be like' to have someone to hang out with. I now know what it's like for me, and it turns out that it simply isn't my thing.

None and it's fine.