What do YOU think about stims?

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I met(OK, just communicated with) this pretty woman on the plane last night. I never found out her name, but did find out she had a boyfriend, was into rap(which he is also), and in the navy as a nurse to get work experience(Kind of dispells the myth that it is so easy for whites to get jobs!). Based on her appearance, attitude, etc... I would say she was mid 20s.

BTW I've only talked to about 6 out of over a thousand(approx 4 people a week, approx 200 a year, approx 1400 total.) of people on the plane, so don't think I am chatty. Hey, I HAVE been trying to act like an NT. In such things I am often pretty bad. 8-(

Anyway, there was something interesting that happened when there wasn't any outside focus. She started bouncing her left leg, just like many autistics do. Once it could have become clear that I noticed, she stopped. A few seconds later, her right leg started bouncing!

Do older(over 10 or so I guess) NTs do such things? I didn't know how to put it to her, so I don't know much about it.

She WAS dressed in trendy jeans, a kind of small shirt, had a HUGE tattoo on her lower back and her cleavage was obvious, so she seemed to be really trying to get attention even if her demeanor was nonchalant. My leg was bad, and she was nice enough to demonstrate her acrobatic skills to avoid my having to move, so I got a good view.

YEAH, I know! MANY young women do that, but I imagine an aspie woman might be tempted to do that to get friends so easily.

Steve

I bounce my leg but I've never thought of it as something that will attract people: I've always thought of it as something that annoys people, and as soon as I am conscious of it I try to stop it. Are you saying that you think that men find leg-bouncing attractive in women? If so I shall make less effort to control myself!

I do these sort of things (bouncing my leg) all the time, and I make no effort to stop!

Leila.

NO! Everything ELSE she did would have attracted guys to her! Even the tattoo, kind of a one color floral design type(I didn't want to stare, but had to notice as it flashed in front of me.), would have attracted attention and said she was open. The jeans gave her a laid back appeal, and showing skin and CLEAVAGE? She might as well have hung a sign!

The hindu religion and the moslem religion, as well as orthodoxed judeo christian denominations say the woman should cover such things up. The reason give is to avoid temptaion of the males. Women take it as an affront, but it is really just an insult towards the self control of the males. I mean you can't expect all the males to go around with blindfolds, right? HEY, I'm not saying ANYTHING against it. I can control myself. I kind of enjoy it. I think it is great if someone can feel that free. I'm just calling it as it is.

I wasn't saying anything for or against the leg bouncing. Frankly, earlier, I would have taken it as a sign of boredom or annoyance, and avoided them. YEAH, I know! It turns out I do it with NEITHER intended meaning. Rocking I would have taken as a sign of involvement/comfort, and might have approached when they weren't involved with something. Then again, I DID notice that one before with me.

BTW the leg bouncing DID make me want to talk to her to see what I could ascertain about her character. If she didn't dress so "provacatively" and bounce her legs, I might not have talked to her.

Steve

Oh I see.

I was thinking about your question - do older NTs do such things? I don't know, but I would like to. Thinking about leg-bouncing specifically, now that I think about it, no one else I know does it. I've always thought of it as something that could easily be regarded as "just something some people do", like scratching your head when puzzled, or chewing on the end of a pen; the sort of quirk that annoys some people, but not all. (I get annoyed when people clatter their cutlery on their plate whilst eating, or bash the inside of their tea cup with their spoon, whilst stirring.) But is it, in fact, something that is usually limited to those on the autisitc spectrum? Does anyone know?

Dont`t know if I`m "Older" , I`m 17. and I bounce my leg since 11 years.

I tend to bounce my leg all the time, especially during school. Sometimes the person sitting in front of me tells me to stop because they can feel the vibration.

Yeah, I do too. I was curious if you knew of any older NTs that did it. It turns out that ALL kids have stims to some degree. I don't know if the leg bouncing is present there either.

On ASDGESTALT they were talking about people wearing shirts that indicated they were aspies. That leads into the whole bad image problem though. In school, if you are getting very good grades(like all As), it may be OK because nobody would take it as a copout or an indication you are bad. Even ONE B, and they may start to wonder. HECK, I had an english teacher once that NEVER gave As to ANYONE! He even admitted it! Some people will not remember a very important thing you told them 5 seconds ago! Those SAME people may remember something you said ten YEARS ago and come to stupid conclusions if you make even one mistake. If you tell them you have AS and drop a ball even ONCE, for example, even if you caught it the last 30 times. That is a bad example, but you get the idea.

Besides, people seem to think Geniuses are good at EVERYTHING. That is ridiculous. Nobody is good at everything. Even Edison said so. It is rare even to find someone that is good at all the stuff you are expected to learn in school. I mean things like being able to name every president, country, theorem, etc... Even EINSTEIN admitted he didn't.

Anyway, it would be interesting if no older NTs bounced their legs. Besides, I REALLY want to meet a lot of AS people! Yeah, I know! TALL ORDER, huh?

I have only personally met a few people I would say were REALLY smart. Most WERE bad socially, and some DID have some quirks, but I may never know if they were even autistic.

Steve

i find other people's stimming attractive or at least it gets my attention. and i've always been attracted to quirky or odd or unusual people!

NTs do stim, they just do more socially appropriate ones - leg bouncing isn't all that bad so she could well have been NT. it's more about the way people do it.... you don't often see NTs rock or spin or twist, unless it's in an appropriate setting like a nightclub. and even then autistic stims are different... its hard to explain.

NTs sometimes do this thing where they copy stims you're doing - i think they just naturally mimic what other people are doing. i find it hilarious when they do that

Last edited by DivaD on 30 Dec 2006, 7:59 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Well Diva.... I WANT TO LEARN!

NTs stim too.... it's not solely an autistic thing... i think just that autistics maybe do it more?

especially something as benign as leg bouncing... especially when you're on a plane and your legs have limited space.

Sedaka,

I didn't think about that. Such movements COULD help prevent PAD and DVT. I guess I never really thought about that because I usually don't have the space. This woman I was telling you about was like a little kid. She could get in and out of the seat and go around the plane almost like a 5 year old. I don't even know if she weighed over 100 pounds(about 45.5KG) If I have LOTS of space(very rare), I do kind of spin my foot. I never thought of THAT as a stim either.

Steve

I use to see "stimming" behavior in the teens I worked with,most with ADHD and we termed it "self-soothing".I really thought ,chewing on pens,leg bouncing,doodeling were all means of dealing with internal tension,inhancing concentration or do toboredom,(that required stimulation so you dont fall asleep in class or during office meetings.)Are those reasons that AS do them?I dont see why NT's would not feel psychological anxiety,need to concentrate or need to stay awake when bored.maybe I just have known a lot of people with ADHD,so seems normal to me.

No, your observations seems to be quite compatible with the reasons Aspies do some of the stims. All the stims really aren't the same. Some stims indeed seems to be used like you describe above, but not all. The one's I'm most interested in are the one's that are usually done when people are in a specific mood. Those are candidates for autistic nonverbal communication.

It is also an interesting question if NTs stim. I think they do, but not in the same way as autistics. The female courtship movements certainly looks like stimming, and when NTs do the "wave", they certainly stim. Many of the stims that autistics do seems to be rare among NTs though.

Krex,

Funny you should say that. I have one customer where I ALWAYS seem to have trouble staying awake in meetings. I have NO idea why! NONE! Other meetings are generally OK, and I can literally stay in the same place for HOURS, yet this one customer.... Next time, if there is one, I will check to see if I do a stim. If I don't, I will try to force one. Interestingly, that customer has a LOT of people throwing and playing with "stress balls".

rdos,

The wave isn't a stim. I think it caught on because it CAN look so good from an aerial view. As for female courtship, you mean twirling the hair?

Steve

It's more than just twirling the hair I think, SteveK-I would alsoclass NT stims as fiddling with rings, bracelets, earringas, necklaces, threading and unthreading finders in each other, and even some forms of gesturing.

I know a person whom I think may be undiagnosed As because he's constantly holding fiddling or stroking something (as well as social awkwardness, narrow interests anbd a few other things.) One of the ones I found most niticeable was at his home-he stands in frot of the fire with his back to it,bends over, puts his hands round the back of his legs and smnooths them rightdown to his ankles. then repeats this several times. He also tends, when sitting down, to rub and pluck at his jeans. He also jiggles his leg and rotates his foot, and wiggles his toes.

He has an AS sibling and a suspected AS father and I'm wondering if he might be AS.

JulieArticuno