Why I'm leaving WP

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I have tried several times to have a serious conversation with people on this site. Each time, despite assurances that the person was interested and committed to an ongoing exchange of ideas, when it came right down to it, they wimped out on me. Disappeared. Gone. Never responded to my emails, and failed to initiate any of their own.

One week ago today I was ready to try again. The person (no names - you know who you are) said they were interested in what I had to say, and they indicated that they were willing to exchange direct emails off site. Unfortunately, that didn't happen. At the last minute this person, like the others, simply disappeared.

I suspect the problem is the information that I'm offering. I have specialized knowledge that many, if not most, of you could benefit from. But people just don't want to hear it. Denial is at a very high level. Anything that agrees with the general prejudices, biases and misconceptions about AS is supported and validated. (If we all agree on it, it must be true, right?) Anything that challenges those prejudices, biases and misconceptions, doesn't even go in the first ear, let alone out the other.

If I were a rescuer type, a psychologist or psychiatrist, I might persist, in the hope of somehow getting through to at least a few. But I'm not. I'm just a grumpy old guy that expects people to do what they say they're going to do. I have not found that level of maturity on this site, so I'm gone. Enjoy your disability, but remember, Asperger's is not an excuse for bad behavior.

geezer

(If we all agree on it, it must be true, right?) Anything that challenges those prejudices, biases and misconceptions, doesn't even go in the first ear, let alone out the other.


I would say no as anyone can say 1 thing or the other without fact's its just here say...


Asperger's is not an excuse for bad behavior. Sorry but if you have not been in research studying people with As and other disorder's that can go along with it you can't really say anything about this...

I suspect the problem is the information that I'm offering. I have specialized knowledge that many, if not most, of you could benefit from. I would like you to post this information here and let us read it...

Geezer,

I don't know what you are talking about, but you end with a clue...

If you were talking to themabout things like these body language books, etc... that is POINTLESS!! !! It is garbage and, frankly, you should know it. I have actually run with this on the assumption it was TRUE, analyzed THOUSANDS of people, and polled over a hundred. The result? GARBAGE! How do these books even make it past an editor? BTW I have known others that did what I did and came up with the same result.

If you talk about family life, etc... THAT is pointless ALSO! How I feel about my father, mother, etc... has nothing to do with anything.

Now the fact that I AM an only child, and have been to at least 6 schools before college, and that I moved around a LOT might have SOMETHING to do with it. Anyone that can't really offer help there should not try to help me.

Frankly, some here have said they are NOT in any of those groups, and could run circles around me socially. Yet even THEY aren't happy with their social abilities.

Now, if you want to offer advice that does not fit into those areas I, for one, and I am sure ALL of us would be HAPPY to listen!

If I could get rid of my problems, I would do almost ANYTHING!

Steve

Ya, right - I emailed you in regards to the personality traits and I never heard a reply back - Granted, I emailed you maybe a day or 2 late - Besides, do the PM's here not work?

Geezer,

I was very interested in your article about personality types, but to be honest, it went a little over my head. I'm not apologising for myself and my lack of ability to fully understand your paper, that's just the way it is. But I hope you are not taking the view that if someone fails to respond it is because they can't be bothered - maybe it is just that they don't know what to say, at least not at the time. What you have written may have sparked off some interesting thoughts, even though you are unaware of it.

I am always sorry when someone leaves because it makes any future conversation impossible.

PMs work fine, but you have to keep looking to see. A box doesn't pop up or anything. 8-( I have been TRYING to keep this in mind, but STILL may be a day late. Others may not know, and NEVER answer a PM!

Geezers deal is apparantly that he wants to sell a newsletter, and thinks this is all 100% personality. NICE TRY! I thought that earlier. I lived for over 40 YEARS on that assumption. GUESS WHAT! It leaves a LOT of questions! Aspergers fits PRECISELY! MY GOD does it fit! Not even on 6 points(the requirement for a diagnoses), but over a dozen and climbing. It explains the intelligence, disparity of skills, social problems, vocabulary, appearance of arrogance, appearance of lack of empathy, obsessive interests, different interests, certain habitual movements, lack of coordination, sensitivity to light/sound(I can see blinking others can't, and noises people can't even really hear can hurt me.), insensitivity to hot/cold, etc.....(I have actually been burned by a cigarette so my right upper arm was like a blister. I have been in temperatures well below freezing) Jung never explained any of that.

If I went with YOUR "diagnosis", I would continue struggling, be depressed, and never get anywhere. If I knew about AS even 4 years ago, my life would be very different. If I knew about it 10 years ago, I would still be in California. I would almost certainly have some AS friends there. Who knows, I might even be married by now. If I knew about it 35 years ago, my whole personality would be different. I probably would have wanted to stay in the same schools and maybe my mother could have done it.

Steve

Last edited by SteveK on 15 Dec 2006, 11:15 am, edited 1 time in total.

Geezer, I never saw any of your information posted. Don't feel shunned, this is a fast and furious website, and it's easy to get lost in the shuffle. I can't quite tell what you're on about, but if you have a theory regarding AS, by all means, post a link.

I hadn't even had proper time to read it yet... I read things over several times before forming any opinions or offering any comments. And I tend to take on a bigger workload than I know how to manage. But that's just me...

Like you, I'm old enought to have formulated my own opinions about everything from theology to autistic spectrum differences and plenty of subjects in between and beyond.

How 'bout posting what it is you're talking about, rather than being coy and threatening to leave. The open exchange of beneficial information is a big part of what WP is all about. Harvesting personal email addresses for personal gain is not (not that I am leveling an accusation, here). If you seek to cultivate relationships by means of the internet, I am sure that sooner or later you can find folks to email back and forth with, but they are probably as suspicious as you when it comes to motives or lack of motivation.

Whoa! Calm down people! He is not the only one to notice a general hostility on this board. I have witnessed such acts of discrimination myself. A recent issue was SpaceCase being attacked for creating a thread about what age people are. Because it had some similarities with another thread she created, she was accused for spamming and called god knows what. There are other people spamming the boards(LITERALLY spamming) that arent even given any attention nor attempt to tell them to stop posting thrash. There seems to be a selective hate on this board.
Also, whenever the controversity of drugs come up, my arguments are trivialized by ingorant members who refuse to look at things an alternative way. This is to name a few.

There was a netiquette thread up some time where the author(I think it was alex) explained the decline of proper communication online. People feel safe behind their screen, and can allow themselves to personally attacks other members because the confrontation is not there. I think aspies like to abuse this because they can get away with it without having to face the opponent and recieve eye contact etc.
To make the boards a fun place to stay, we have to crush our egos and converse in a proper manner.
Thanks for your attention.

No offence but allot are not diagnosed and like other forums you tend to get idiot's in them wanting to start arguments - if 1 can not value another’s opinion then I accept that but if they try and give an opinion without the fact's or read wikipedia info on stuff it will happen... as it's not fully fact based.. Although they do delete stuff that’s wrong it takes time...

I come back to lack of assertiveness in humans getting sick of me i know lol
http://hcd2.bupa.co.uk/fact_sheets/html ... eness.html

Last edited by logitechdog on 15 Dec 2006, 2:57 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I dont exactly understand why things must go to email - Personally, I like reading exchanges here.

Revenant, calling people 'ignorant' because they won't only listen to your facts but follow them in the diehard fashion you do does not make us ignorant - it makes us individuals. Many people can say the same thing about how you respond in those threads so don't think you're unique or something. I've stated, and I think one of my last posts said so, that everything is inconclusive.

At home, by the end of the day, my wrists and forearms are on fire. I cannot type a lot after work because of my desk setup, I think (I'll fix that soon). Again, basing your decision to leave because people won't track you down is kind of selfish. You could have simply asked for my email and sent me information but you made me seek it - fine, it shows I'm interested. As well, when I emailed you, I didnt know what to say - you knew my side and you told me you had new information I didnt know so, I basically stated 'lets have it'

Aspie are very logical. They will do what works. They likely wisely know that Geezer
has very little usefull to offer.

Geezer your likely a great experimental pyshcologist that should keep doing your
research. But if you think your going to help anyone here your living in a dream world.

I also think one your primary trying to find feild data to support your theories and careless about helpping people here. Doing things for empathy is not your motivation.
Its about your ego. So people will only get helpped if your ego will get stroked and the
1%(I'm over estimating) chance you have help.

You want to talk in e-mails because you are affraid people will beable to prove your
ideas and theories as useless.

Revnant,

I can only asusme you were talking to me, because I was by far the harshest here I think.

Granted, I only read a few of geezers posts, but they all seemed to be talking DOWN to people here. As for space case. I wish she didn't go that way, and told her so here, but feel I have treated her with respect. I think I have in general. EVEN posts in private have been civil. I haven't seen the spam you talk about. She IS VERY prolific with creating topics, but they have been distinct, judicious, and in line with the general topic. I don't consider such stuff spam. I don't think any reasonable person does.

Anyway, I have listened to enough people in my life that seem to have the same feelings as geezer. Sorry if that anger is so apparant here.

As for being undiagnosed, I USED to sit back and take this stuff in person, or LEAVE. I would even quietly boycott and NEVER come back. Today, if it is blatent, I will sometimes speak up. Sorry if that doesn't seem aspieish.(word?)

BTW Geezer doesn't even say he MIGHT be AS! That right there, coupled with general subjects on his posts may make you start to wonder.

BTW I have done LOTS of things to try to get out of my shell, etc... I only wish people were more reasonable. A LOT of phsycology stuff was written in German. Even FREUDS! Yet someone just CASUALLY ignored aspergers work? War or not, it REEKS of conspiracy of some sort. It would have been nice to know all this earlier. I see people here in their teens talking about hardship. MAN! They can make choices based on, and do things, with their diagnosis in mind, and avoid some mistakes I have made. And they can do it with the assurance they are NOT alone!

Steve

Yeah he said he had the INTJ personality type. I think part of his theory (I did not read his paper) is AS is a personality type (such as INTJ). So he may feel his own
life experiences some how apply to others he feels have this personality type(s).

YEP, and THAT is the problem I have with him! He sees a car stopped on the side of the road and INSISTS the person pay him for gas, etc... saying that THAT is the problem, even though the gas gauge says full, it was just filled, and the engine won't make a sound, and no lights come on.

Sometimes, knowledge of one symptom and your own experience just does NOT cut it!

Steve