Trouble Learning to Drive?

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While learning to drive I had great deal of difficulty processing everything that I had to pay attention to (other cars, people etc.), and would sit at lights and stop signs longer than most people do (my mother would get irritated with me when I did this). It was especially bad when I had someone in the car with me trying to give me directions or trying to talk to me; and nearly every time I drove I would have a meltdown. Did you have trouble with this as well?

Yeah, was a nightmare for me. Been attempting to learn on and off for 13 years, seriously! Pretty much given up now after the last instructor would get angry with me and even told me he has never had to teach anyone like me before. This was before discovering AS but the discovery certainly makes sense of a lot of the trouble I was having learning. There are some on the spectrum who can drive fine - i am clearly not one.

I have the same problem. I've been attempting twice and couldn't succeed. I have always been told that I'm technically excellent but as soon as I'm in the environment I don't understand the rules like the others OR I do understand the rules but can't really apply them because I have problems to do many technical things at the same time, anticipate, react fast (I'm always too careful and that annoyed my instructor so much), recognize the roads and intersections and when someone is constantly watching me and giving me instructions I totally panic and have a meltdown. My instructor had never seen someone stop the car and cry so much during a driving lesson. And that's kind of embarrassing when you are a young adult and you see all your other acquaintances succeed and enjoy driving. I actually had the feeling that I could be a good driver if I would have driven alone (though I suspect I would still have been too careful and I know that it can be dangerous...).
At that time I didn't know AT ALL about AS but now everything makes sense. So if I decide to give a last try (because I would love to be able to drive actually), I will explain my syndrome and hopefully get more understanding.

I didn't get my license until I was 30. That means I spent 14 years, on and off, trying to learn. I can't tell you how many times I flunked the test.
I have extremely poor depth perception and spatial skills, but I can learn to compensate, which is what I did. However, this made things very difficult.
Coupled with the anxiety, and all of the stimuli on the road, learning to drive was one of the biggest challenges I ever faced.
I'm now a good driver, but I still require more concentration than most people. I definitely can't talk on the phone while driving (a bad idea in any case), and I usually can't listen to music while driving either. I generally do alright with news or talk, however.

For me it was all about the right instructor. I wasn't diagnosed with AS then so he didn't even know about that but my instructor still managed to very intuitively recognise the difficulties I was having and changed his style of tuition. This made me feel much more relaxed. I had a different instructor before him but he only lasted one lesson because it was clear that he had ONE formula which he used to teach people and that formula didn't work for me. Once I had the right instructor I learned quickly - considering the difficulties AS can bring to the party with this - and I passed my test first time. I'm now able to drive more confidently and competently than most.

I get the impression that your driving lessons with your mother may be similar to my experience. Driving lessons with my mother were - while useful for the extra practice - incredibly stressful. She didn't have much patience and would "over-instruct" me i.e. constantly tell me what to do; this meant that I had an additional source of constant sensory input to deal with making focusing on driving all the more difficult. I had a few meltdowns learning to drive with my mother supervising me and we argued on several occasions :/ My style of learning this kind of skill basically amounts to being taught the basics and then figuring out the rest myself by doing it repeatedly. I never once had a meltdown with the instructor as his tuition style with me was very hands-off meaning that he would only "instruct" me when I was in a new situation or when it was really needed e.g. I was about to get into a dangerous or difficult situation. This fitted very well with my style of learning.

So yea my suggestion is (if you are still learning, I wasn't sure about that from your post) that you ensure that whoever is teaching you really understands and is able to adapt to work around the difficulties you are having. If they don't then consider finding someone else.

Hello.

Being on the road while learning to drive was very scary. There are just so many things that I have to pay attention to, and I found it too overwhelming. So, as soon as I got the license, I gave up driving. I still keep renewing my license, but I only use it as an ID. Once I lose it, I would never be able to get it back.

I prefer driving on highways over "in-town" driving because there isn't as many people whose minds you have to read.