Rumination and Meditation

Post Reply New Topic

Back when I was misdiagnosed as having OCD, I was introduced to meditation. I worked at it as best I could and was convinced that the goals of the practice were worthy and the process was sound. I was told to censure rumination and keep my mind from persuing solutions to the thoughts that arise while I'm actually sitting.
OCD itself is thought of as a 'neurotic' substitute for solving the actual problems of life- an illegitimate preoccupation meant to spare the psyche from the anxiety of dealing with the "real" problems hidden beneath. I have since found out that my mind's central preoccuption may very well not be based on neurotic avoidance, but the fertility of the thought itself. I don't think about dimensions, math, biology, etc. in order to avoid dealing with people (as it was presented to me). These subjects are simply more satisfying and important.
This being said, I do still ruminate a lot, however I have discarded the judgement that all rumination is fruitless. To others who practice meditation- Do you think it is harder for people like myself (and possibly yourself) to allow thoughts to drift-off as they come because they're more compelling in nature than the thoughts of NTs?
Most of my thoughts are visual. When I close my eyes, I tend to see more than when they were open. Are NT thoughts are like a radio show in mono and mine like 3d-IMAX? If so, does that affect the difficulty of remaining disengaged?
As analogy: Some people with addictions can avoid their drug altogether, food addicts cannot. To be healthy, they have to eat every day. When I meditate, I get the feeling that I'm trying to avoid The Pasta Barn by sitting in a Crispy Creme!

Explain how you were misdiagnosed as having OCD? And I don't understand your analogy.

the purpose of meditation is not stopping thought. that is just something that tends to happen and happens to be useful and enjoyable (no doubt, even for people who think that they think because thinking is enjoyable). the purpose of meditation is understanding suffering, the cause, and cessation (within the framework of buddhism, at least (but who needs suffering?)).

this is a meditation for insight, not short term relaxation:

observe bodily sensations, attending to the area of the heart while noticing the breath (wherever it is easiest to notice). this can be done continuously, from the moment of waking in the morning to the moment you fall asleep at night, in formal meditation and in ordinary activity. remember the breath, while keeping attention grounded gently at the heart, at what may feel like the center of being. in time, intentions can be seen as subtle or sometimes not so subtle tensions in the body that condition thought, speech, and action. this process can be interrupted and altered more easily the more clearly one sees how it works. view every tension (apart from those directly associated with injury and illness) as the death knell of a dying intention. one can either express it and thereby feed the tendency to intend, or let it be and let it die. it may, at times, feel like something inside of you is screaming in agony when you do this. just notice the tension as tension until it passes. then attend to the next, and so on. in this way you will come to see the nature of intention as suffering and impermanent. seeing this clearly, the mind inclines to letting go.

I meditate on a (fairly) regular basis, however my methods are likely different than what most people are taught.
Instead of closing my mind and thoughts, and maintaining a certain posture, I relax the muscles and (pardon if this sound like mumbo-jumbo to some) open my mind and thoughts to the universe.
I imagine the universe all around me, in every direction a number of stars. Each star representing one thought. I choose one or two and I explore the worlds surrounding those thoughts. Each world can be filled with forests, oceans, colors. As I allow these worlds to further shape themselves, it becomes more and more relaxing.
The result of this type of session (when done for a long time) is that it leaves the individual with a renewed sense of calm, and often promotes higher thought (not necessarily 'smarter' as some may think, but rather a different way of looking at things to help solve problems with solutions that one never thought of previously).
I've been doing this kind of meditation for 20 years or so (usually an hour or more a day) and it helps me every time.