Do you ever feel like you're in the paradox mentioned below

Post Reply New Topic

http://www.aane.org/asperger_resources/ ... ssion.html

I have been feeling that way for a while. luckily aspies are extremely articulate and can precisely express these kinds of emotions, so instead of vainly ranting on about how I feel, which can be stressful, I have articles like these on the internet which literally take the words out of my mouth. btw do you ever like you're in that paradox.

Yes, many of these. Particularly, depression dissolved my special interests. I basically don't have hobbies or interests whenever I'm in a position where I have to do normal things during the day like go to work or attend class because those activities are quite draining for someone with autism and depression.

There isn't a " no" option in this survey.

But yes, I relate a lot to what is being said.
I often find that my interests dissolve when depressed, and it takes a long time to get them back.
I also find that I want to be around supportive people rathe than be alone, but that can be easier said than done.

I also agree that CBT is not always a successful form of treatment, at least, it didn't work much for me either. The theory is that if you change your thinking about a crummy situation, and stop seeing it as crummy,you will feel better and it will cease to be crummy. My theory is it is a crummy situation full stop. I need validation of my experience, not denial - I already deal with enough of that- and I need help getting through it when I feel ready.

Yes, I sometimes have this.
A time in which the special interest doesn't satisfy is awful. No motivation to make anything with it and lots of time in which one doesn't know what to do.
Meh...

I'm in a depressive phase right now. That article does describe the things I experience, although I do not think that "precisely expressing these kinds of emotions" is actually something most on the spectrum are good at, no matter how articulate.

I feel like this most of the time since years, but not always.
Right now I feel slightly depressed, but I also know the extreme forms of depressions.

Yes, I feel like this when I'm depressed. I have episodic depression (Major Depression) and yeah, that's a good description of how it feels l when I am depressed....I don't feel like this when not depressed so certainly not all the time....I really don't think I could stand to live if I felt like that all the time. I was just talking about how depression is common in ASD in the last thread I posted in..............

Also, it's not really paradoxical. The effects listed are typical for depression. Autistic people, no matter how alexithymic, still have emotions and are thus vulnerable to developing affective disorders. It is an unfortunate consequence of trying to cope with a world in which one cannot function well.

(not criticizing the thread - I think the post makes some excellent points and I am glad the OP linked it).

A long time ago, that link helped me discover that Asperger's might be my problem, especially since I have been depressed since I was 13.

So yes, I'm in that paradox. Except that for the most part, I can still escape to my special interest when my symptoms are light. But only then.

I particularly relate to the sections about therapy not working.

I don't really know, I've never been depressed, really sad at times, but never depressed. I can remember being really sad during my childhood a few times. Once when my parakeet died. I was 8. I cried for two days, day and night, I felt like the sadest person in the world, I ate very little for a whole week, and I was in a shutdown-like state for a whole day. Another time was when my uncle took my dog away from my house, because we couldn't keep her anymore. I was 10. I didn't cry, but I remember being very very sad, and feeling very lonely, because that dog was my best friend at that time.
But exept these, I've never been really depressed, just very sad, but never depressed.

You don't have a 'no' option.

My experience of depression and AS are different from that guy.

The Dissolution of Special Interests - no reduction in interests when I'm depressed, but my interests shift to depressing topics like famine, war, drug addiction, species going extinct, etc. I get caught in a double bind, because I'm fascinated by that stuff but it keeps getting me down.

Sacrificing Ideas for Feelings - I never pay more attention to ideas than feelings. I usually pay equal attention to both, and this doesn't change when I'm depressed.

The Loss of Constructive Solitude - I kinda have this, but when I'm not depressed I enjoy both solitude and socializing at different times. When I'm depressed, solitude brings it out, but it also makes me more shy, so I cling to my family while interacting less with strangers.

Compromising Self-Sufficiency - I feel no real need to be self-sufficient. I have no resistance to asking for help if I need it.

Physical/Sensory Conflicts - Depression doesn't make me long for any sensation I can't handle. I hate being stroked and can be startled by unexpected light touch, but being hugged or having someone hold my hand or rest a hand on my back feels comforting, as long as I trust the person. So when I long for physical comfort, it causes no conflict.

I do identify a lot with his complaints about treatment. For me, what I've found that works is nonverbal emotion-focused therapy methods, such as play therapy (which I had as a little kid) or art therapy (which I've had a couple scattered sessions of). Talk therapy doesn't work because my verbal skills are disconnected from my emotions. I can dispassionately analyze my emotions, but it doesn't do anything useful. Only nonverbal methods seem to touch my emotions.

That article (which I had read before finding it here) is actually the most succinct and accurate description of how I feel in everyday life that I have come across. Describing the syndrome as a series of paradoxes is, I believe, spot on. The internal conflict that these paradoxes entail leads to the underlying anxiety that perfuses me.

If I go to see a psy I will definitely print this out and take it with me.