Should I See an ASD Specialist?

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I've been a lurker on this forum for some time and really feel I can relate to a lot of what you say about things.

I looked at the diagnostic criteria for aspergers when I was diagnosed with add around a year ago, however didn't think it related to me. There wasn't that something that just clicked like when I read the criteria for add. However my main issue at that time was trying to hold down a job that required me to be organised and focused so the problems I presented with were along those themes.

I'm not organised or focused because I can't stop reading up about whatever I am obsessing about at the time. Therefore the Medication never really worked me.

There are many other aspects to me that trouble me more which I assumed were due to ADD, however I don't think that's the case.

I never felt that I had difficulty communicating because my job is customer orientated and the customers always like me. But I realised that maybe because I hate confrontation that I'm not direct enough with them. I hate going to speak to clients and am always worried that I will upset them. Even when I think I have been rude, other people say that I have a good rapport with them.

Even though I can speak to customers well, I can't do this in other areas. For example I was in this bar on my own and this girl kept putting music on the jukebox that I loved and I thought that I should comment but I wasn't sure how to, so I didn't.

At home I live with a total ADHD person that won't stop talking for hours on end, which I hate as I need time to think about things. Sometimes I get so frustrated because I have to do chores or pay bills and I'm trying to think what order to do them or what I will say if I have to phone someone up, but then I'm expected to listen to someone telling me about their day at work or moaning at me that I just kind of explode. I shout as loud as I can to leave me alone over and over, and then I start hitting my head and stamping my feet like a child and everything is blurry. I just have to go to bed and cry.

So I tend to go to bars and stand in the corner to give myself a chance to think about things. Obviously a bar is somewhere most people go to socialise but I don't speak to anyone. I don't have any friends at all other than a couple of people I talk to at work. I can talk to my mum for hours, sometimes not shutting up.

I didn't really have friends when I was younger, everyone at school bullied me telling me I was a freak and gay' but I wanted to have friends. I just used to sit in this farmers field next to the playground and think about things.

In live in an imaginary world most of the time. I live in England but Last week i was anxious and pretended that my house was in a village in south west France where my mum has a holiday home. I was making french food and listening to french music. I then worked out exactly where in the village this exact house would be and draw a map, draw where it is and found the map co ordinates. I then got stressed because I realised that my garden couldn't be where it was as the positioning would be all wrong, even though I knew it was just a fantasy.

Im not good in relationships and get dumped for being to clingy and needy. Its just if I like someone I will obsess about them.

I don't look people in the eye, I can't keep a conversation going and people think I'm weird. The only things that don't are my cats.

I am overly sympathetic and scared of offending anyone so I don't really say what I'm feeling, I'm not sure about empathy as no one has ever given an adequate answer to what is different between empathy and sympathy.

When I was around 3 I would watch sound of music over and over again, like 3 times a day and cry if I wasn't allowed.
When I was about 7 I was obsessed with switzerland although i never visited there. All my schoolwork was orientated towards switzerland, even when we were doing about space exploration, my drawing was a rocket with a swiss flag. After that it was Kylie minogue and knew what chart post ions her songs had reached all over the world, I kept scrapbooks on her and got really annoyed if I missed a newspaper article on her as I felt my scrapbook wasn't complete.

It would have been politics that I obsessed about but all the books in the school library that mentioned politics, I had already read. However when I was a teenager, my obsession with politics started. I studied it at university and wanted to make a career in it. I even stood as a candidate in local elections, but I didn't like the party political process as I hated knocking on doors, I would much rather fold leaflets or even post them.

Now my obsessions don't tend to last to long, maybe because of the internet. I will spend weeks researching a subject and then get frustrated because I have read every website I can find about it and bought every book. The obsessions generally revolve around a political theme or a foreign country's usually the two in tandem. A recent example would be Norway, facts about the country, culture and the politics.

I hate it when people use metaphors or cliche sayings, not that I don't understand them I just think they sound stupid and unnecessary.

Sorry about all this, I have never told anyone this but needed to get it off my chest and make it clearer in mind.

Writing this has also confirmed that I do need to be referred to an ASD specialist, which has answered my own question-

You know what? Only you can figure out whether or not you need to see an ASD specialist. There's some things you need consider before you go to one. You've already considered one, which is "Am I concerned that I have autism?"

Another is what you'll use the diagnosis for. To get benefits or official accommodations in school or work? To participate in research? For self-validation? All three of these are legit reasons to get a diagnosis and I'm sure there's more.

Then, there's the "money" issue. Can you afford an assessment? Is there's a possibility that you'll have to pay more for some sort of insurance?

I am certain there are many more questions you'll have to ask yourself before you have an assessment.

I don't think it's a bad idea to at least consult with a professional, even if you don't go through with the diagnosis process.

Boy do I know this feeling.

I didn't think the Asperger's criteria fit me for several years, despite the fact that the obsessions portion always seemed to fit. Part of it is that the stereotypical manifestation of Asperger's is rather narrow (i.e. the common misperception that everyone with AS is talented at math and science, and that they lack a sense of humor, etc...), but in reality, it's actually quite broad.


Yep, I can relate to this.



I am still unclear on the distinction myself, but the blurb here under "Do people with Asperger's lack empathy?" is about the clearest description on how my brain operates that I've seen:

http://grasp.org/myths-faq

Thank you for the replies. That blurb on empathy made some sense. If I get assessed, It will be mostly to do with self validation. Basically, I've been invited to a school reunion and have started to think about my time at school. I was bullied at school and whilst it wasn't as bad as some of the bullying I read, it has stayed with me. I always thought any problems I had socially were due to confidence issues based on my experiences, which could still be valid and I would expect most doctors to feel the same. But you always here these people that say they know themselves and are at ease with themselves. I don't feel like that. I found out a lot about myself during my diagnosis with ADD but there are still questions left unanswered.

Also I feel I need to know if I'm gonna be treated for ADD again. If it was a wrong diagnosis then I really don't want to be taking extremely strong medication. If I have ADD and an ASD, then I would need the right combination of treatment.

Another reason is that I would like to meet people, there are meet ups for people with ASDs. I could really do with that kind of support where people aren't gonna shun me because I stutter or get the wrong words.

I've just started reading Tony Attwoods guide to Aspergers (I stayed up all night reading it) and it really has been making me relive parts of my life.

I'm just worried that my GP will think I'm a hypercondriac as one minute its ADHD now its aspergers. It could be that I'm subconsciously trying to fit into a diagnosis which is why I'm trying my hardest to stay away from online tests. Although when assessed for ADD, My score on the ASQ was high.

Thanks for your advice.

I want to know why