Do Relentlessly Positive People Annoy You?

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It's a resounding YES for me!

I don't mind people being positive and doing all their outgoing positive stuff at all but if they try and lecture me and others about why we should be just like them or we're doing something seriously wrong it really gets my goat!

Let people be how they want to be!

If you find them too negative - go off and be positive elsewhere!

A lot of the time what comes across to these 'anti-negativity people' as negative is just the reality of a person's day to day life and their attempts to cope with it

People need support, not to be told to run a marathon!

All I can say is I'd hate to have to rely on one of these ANP's (Anti-Negativity People) for support if I was seriously depressed - you wouldn't see them for dust! - your negative mood would just bring them down and they'd vanish

Hence not good friend material at all in my opinion

Nessa, are you asking for debate in this thread, or just answers to your question?

I'd like to know before I post a response.

Answers, debate, whatever anyone wants to put

It's not a poll, I'm just asking for other peoples' opinions on the subject and it will hopefully be debated

I come to discussion forums for debate basically and also to offer support or information where relevant

yes, they do.

Mindless optimism is definitely a NT trait. Having to be around one of its sufferers is like spending time with a big brother contestant.

Agreed. I associate it very much with NT's too, which is why, whatever the diagnosis of the ANP's (Anti-Negativity People) doing
their ANP thing on here, I feel oppressed by it as I come to WP as a sanctuary, to escape from all things that are NT-associated
in my mind.

I am relentlessly positive myself and tend to post quite a bunch of cheerleader-esque posts.

However, I don't want to come across as someone who rubs that in other people's faces or tells them what to do and how to do it. So I agree with that part of your post, Nessa.

I do think this cuts both ways, though. A sway into overly positive territory is no worse or better than a dip into the overly negative, so... balance, please. Let all different mind-sets and personalities be heard.

Yes I can agree with that

I'd like to thank the OP for opening up this thread for debate (see the third post).

I'm not sure if I'm one of the "Anti-Negativity People" of whom the OP writes, but I suspect that I would be considered as such.

My first issue is with the concept that WP, particularly the "General Autism Discussion", should be used for posts such as those dealing with rejecting society/being rejected by society, depression, loneyness, etc. There is a designated sub-forum for that type of thread, and it apparently is not being used.

WrongPlanet is the busiest neurodiversity message board in the English-speaking world. Aspies are coming here first, and I do not want newcommers to feel more depressed when they come here. I know it took me months to be willing to post here, and the negativity was an issue. In one of the threads the led to the creation of this thread, I advocated a voluntary understanding that some threads should be moved to "Haven", since it is the public stance of moderator's that such a rule would generalyl not be enforced (please correct me if I incorrectly summarized the moderation policy on this matter).

I understand that some posters, OP being one of them, have a strong disagreement that we should balance the freedom to post "negative" threads on the "General" sub-forum against the possible interests of Aspies coming to this board. I believe that one poster refered to this arguement as "Straw Aspies", and another poster's post in the same previous thread could be read as indicating that this arguement made those advocating such concerns "NTs".

I have great sympathy for those, like many on this board, who have been discriminated against by society, in education, social interaction, employement, and benefits. Many of us on this board would not be where we are today without the help, support, and good will of our friends and loved ones.

I also would like to see Aspies doing better in their own lives. Venting on a message board is needed sometimes, and we have a sub-forum for it. While some posters overdo it, I believe that making constructive comments about steps that WP members can take to improve their lives is a good idea.

Nessa, you crack me up!

I am an optimistic pessimist, meaning I'm cynical and jaded but say things like "It could be worse!" And then think of all the ways it could be worse.
I have a hard time constant cheerful bubbliness. With some people it feels so fake it physically makes me feel bad. I'm tired of being told to cheer up, or to "get over it". My mom always told me "No one likes a wet blanket" and that made me hide my feelings under a mask. I was never cheerful but I never let on how much I hurt inside. As I got older, I got more and more angry at hiding it. I still have a hard time letting it all out and it's unhealthy.
I don't mind a little positivity, but don't smother me in it. I guess I prefer positive reinforcement in a practical way. Like if I post a problem to a group of NT's, I just really don't like most of the replies. Things like *hugs* and "Thinking about you" don't really do much... eh... I have some issues I really need to work out.

Edit: I should say I haven't really seen any of that sickening positivity, just people telling us to "get over it". If I could, I WOULD.

I think this is ironic, considering, your essentially on the attack for an imaginary villan.

I don't know of anyone on the positive end of things that has any tolerance of wishful thinking.

We simply want people to stop dumping or venting on people who got more than there lions share of problems.

But again by your own admission you enjoy the negativity, and see no problem bringing people down, and by your own admission if they don't wanna be brought down they should leave.

I am similar bit a little different to what the OP is talking about. I sometimes get annoyed when people act too happy. Not so much at work, but just at home, when my family are all excitable and extra sociable and expecting others to be the same. I'm not expecting everyone to be miserable like me, but I still can't help getting a bit irritated when everyone's extra happy. Well, I suppose it can depend on what mood I'm in.

My mum isn't normally a jokey sort of person, but sometimes when her brother comes round, she gets all jokey as though she feels she has to act different in front of him (even though she sees him a lot). Also she always says things that don 't need to be said, saying some words in a different kind of accent. I can't explain it really, but you know when people put on a silly accent when they're happy or showing off. Like instead of saying, ''what's for dinner?'' someone in an extra happy mood or showing off might say it in this way: ''what's for dnaaaar?'' Oh, annoying (but I don't say anything, I just get annoyed inwardly).

OK, forgive me if such a thing exists, because I tend to stick to only one or two parts of this site, and haven't fully explored the rest. Does Alex have a mission statement or something, where he states the intentions of this site, what it would like to achieve, who it would like to appeal to etc.?

If not, then I think people should just quit complaining about negativity which if it does exist, does so to a far lesser degree than they would have you believe. Please see the results of the poll on it, which do not tally with Stoek's complaint about "the vast majority of Aspies" being unhappy with the tone of the board or dissuaded from using it by said negativity. Speaking of which, I asked about 3 or 4 times in his thread how he knew the "vast majority of Aspies" (a very egotistical claim in itself) and he has not replied each time.

If people are misusing the site, then I am sure mods are perfectly capable of correcting people doing so, either by having noticed it themselves or by another person reporting the offence.

As I said on Stoek's thread, I am a sensitive person, I am affected by the moods of others, and I have not noticed excessive negativity here!

As to this thread, I don't like fakeness in any form, it's detestable. So if someone is being fakely positive I wouldn't be able to abide that. If someone is naturally over-the-top positive, then I would likewise avoid them because that is really not my type of person.

So, as it's hard to judge ourselves as others see us at times, I could well be a 'glass half empty type' and maybe some might see me as negative. However, I am a trooper and plod on through all of life's adversities without asking for help, and I don't believe I moan or complain excessively. I also have a good sense of irony for the negative, which can make for some good humour. People can find a camaraderie in moaning together, which can bring a sense of relief to all.

If people want to post happy, happy posts on here that's fine. I personally wouldn't read them because I likely would have no reason to identify with them.

I read threads where people ask for help or information that I can offer, where people have had similar experiences to me (again, there is camaraderie in that) and where I can learn information. I admit that I don't tend to read a lot of the desperate type of threads, and for that reason don't frequent the Haven, because I have no idea how to help people in a bad psychological state and I have more than enough of my own difficulties at the moment to load worrying about others on to it. I'm sure there are plenty of others on the site who have words of wisdom or insight or advice for those desperate souls - or perhaps it is an Aspie thing to avoid (however harsh that sounds) this type of post (I did do a recent poll on this which seems to suggest so).

Please do tell me someone, if all non-happy posts are in some way flying in the face of Alex's mission statement or intentions.

And if there truly are lots of Aspies out there who are horrified or intimidated by negativity on this site, perhaps that speaks more to their levels of anxiety (frequently co-morbid as we know), individual preferences, personalities or whatever, than it does to it being the true representation of this site.

I personally thing that the General Autism Discussion forum is bound to have a certain amount of negative posts for the very fact of the difficulties people with an ASD often face ie if I was new to WP it would not surprise me in the least to see negative threads or posts on this main forum as that to me is the nature of Asperger forums and in fact most forums! The negative invariably attracts more attention than the positive. Dramas do not contain people all living wonderful lives and livign in a spirit of continual positivity! If that was what people preferred why on earth are programmes like Eastenders and Coronation Street so popular??

People like to moan - it's a fact!

But there are plenty of less negative threads to balance this out.

People can create threads on whatever subject they choose!

I see The Haven as somewhere to post if I was feeling really really depressed ie I would not want to just post a thread that discussed negative subject matter in the Haven as I dont' think it would be fair on people who are often suffering with really bad depression. The Haven is for people going through a bad time in my opinion and I dont' see that a thread about eg how annoying something NTs do is relevant for The Haven at all, as that has a predominantly supportive function and moaning or pointing something negative out or having a negative opinion may just be how someone chooses to express themself at that time ie they don't need support, they just want to express themselves.

I post both negative, positive, informational and supportive posts ie I post a variety of different types of post depending on what is going on in my life at the time and on my particular mood.

Surely one of the major problems with Aspergers is that we often get the following implied message from the majority of non-autistic people - 'We don't accept you because you are different to us'. The people moaning about negative posts make me feel it's just another version of the NT message ie another form of intolerance.

I agree with the OP.

I don't like negativity bashing. I suspect that the OP started this thread in response to some other thread(s) that was bashing negativity etc (if not, sorry).

I also think perceiving negativity in other people's words and actions could be the reflection of their own negativity. I say this because some posters here seem to perceive negativity in something in which I didn't see any negativity.

Telling people who are depressed (feeling extremely negative) to be positive is one of the worst things. It can make them attempt suicide. They need understanding, not lecturing, bashing etc.

Why?

What's so funny?