It's no wonder we get inhibited...

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I'm fed-up of people cutting me off in conversation, such as GPs etc. when I haven't even monologued, I've just started talking. I'm aware that I talk very fast, and NTs (I don't mean this as a criticism, just a fact) never seem able to keep up with the amount of information I am imparting at the speed I'm saying it, even if it's really simple information. They get very irritated with me and they show it very quickly. I know it may stress them, and I'm not NT bashing, not looking for solutions (the only one there is is obvious!) just venting,...and perhaps looking to see if this happens to anyone else.

Yes, this absolutely happens to me. Anytime I let my guard down enough to try to just have a relaxed conversation with someone. It's SO hard to basically baby talk for everyone all the time, while trying not to insult them with the knowledge that I have to work super hard to baby talk for them all the time. *eyeroll* When I was a kid I was super talkative and you could never shut me up. I'm just warn down from the effort though now, and barely ever talk to anyone other than my husband and kids anymore.

If people try to interrupt me, they can't, because I go on talking, no matter what. Most of the times it's me interrupting others.

And you sit there seething that they've done it, it's so rude (and we're meant to be the blunt ones), especially if you've only got one sentence out. Maybe there are missed non-verbal cues there that it's not quite the right time to start talking or something I don't know, but when something comes into my head I have to say it because it's whirling so damn fast in there that the information needs to get out before I forget it (which is even more likely with having to actually communicate face-to-face!)

PS I love your description of your husband I call mine a neanderthal

Last edited by whirlingmind on 02 Feb 2013, 12:36 pm, edited 1 time in total.

If you guys can find a solution I'd really like to know...very outspoken group, we are.

They don't let me. What they do (and this is even on the phone too) is to say "whirlingmind! whirlingmind! whirlingmind!" (obviously my real name in real life) repeatedly over me until I stop. They bat me down, it just makes me crazy, they treat me like a schoolchild who is talking in assembly. The just won't let me speak. I don't get it. Like I say, often I've only managed to get a sentence or less out and they start it. A psychologist did it to me recently too. I'm starting to really seethe just thinking about it.

maybe we should use a loud-hailer...

Last edited by whirlingmind on 02 Feb 2013, 1:09 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Thanks. It's more physical than anything. He's 6'7" and very broad shouldered and muscular...and communicates in nothing but grunts and growls the first 30 - 60 minutes he's awake. lol We have pet names...I call him my "sexy beast" and he calls me his "celtic goddess" (I have a strong irish heritage with family customs and things, and his upbringing was pretty white bread american with no deeper layers)

Back on topic.....=D My solution is just to keep my mouth shut and disengage. Only speak if I'm not feeling any real passion or interest for the conversation. If I'm not interested, and not saying much, NTs seem to be comfortable including me. I think that must be what it's like for them all the time. That they interupt because they are overwhelmed and unable to process information of any real depth. I know my NT friends have told me that it's a mental strain to have even simple conversations with me. It's not that the information is complicated....it's that they have to work to understand more than the most superficial aspects of any concept. And most of my NT friends are literally geniuses. I get the feeling the average NT isn't capable of that kind of comprehension.

It's like we're living slightly out of phase with them. We see and understand the depth of everything as our natural state, but have to work to see or understand the superficial level of concepts. And that's where the NTs live and breath, you know? We can see each other but not understand each other. And it seems to both like the other group is lacking because they can't understand what we find natural and instinctive.

(My name for my husband is less complimentary! I'm half Irish too!)

But you know when they ask you something, and you have to reply, and they still cut you off! It's so frustrating, because they wanted you to speak in the first place, but then they don't like how you reply. That's really interesting what you say about us needing to understand the superficial level. I think you have something there. It's true, we don't know how to be any other way than highly detailed and analytical, I'd never thought of it quite like that. Having to think what is a superficial level is so hard though, I don't know how you work out what that is. I guess there will always be this mismatch.

What would help is voice training. Namely, knowing how to project your voice, namely, to make it boom and carry. Think about how drill sergeants, stand-up comedians, or opera singers talk. They don't yell; yelling is for anger. But when they give commands, a speech, or a performance, they talk in a voice that can be heard from across the room. Without a microphone.

We aspies, due to shyness that comes from being mistreated since becoming self-aware and/or lack of social intuition, tend to talk in a dull, quiet voice. It doesn't boom. It doesn't carry. So when we talk, it's easy for people to bush it off as background noise and ignore it. Yelling doesn't help, because it's still the same dull, quiet voice, only in a higher volume. NTs will still ignore you, even if they turn around to see who yelled. For an animal equivalent, consider the difference between a yap of a dachshund and a woof of German shepherd. They're both dog barks, right? Same volume at times, even. But what a difference!

It's not much different for people, sadly. I'm not sure what's exactly required for projecting your voice. I vaguely know it's something about using your diaphragm and not just your vocal chords. It's easy to understand the concept, but hard to master the act. There are plenty of books and videos out there, but I think a class with a professional instructor would be your best bet.

Last edited by Aspie1 on 02 Feb 2013, 1:40 pm, edited 2 times in total.

Yes, I think the monotonous voice probably does irritate them too.

I have the opposite problem. I usually interrupt others, because I don't like listening to them talk on and on and on about boring topics. When I get the meaning, I tend to cut them off, because I don't want to hear all the waste words. I have auditory and speech processing problems, so that is probably why I like people to speak meaning in fewer words. I also like it when people speak in small words. When people speak in big words, I usually drill them to get them to the level of small words and clear idears, but I find that many people can't go there, because they don't ackshuly understand what they are talking about, but the big words make them sound smart.

I have noticed that nts are not so good at handling details. So they would interrupt you, because too many details, and I would interrupt you, because too much talking.

Oh I interrupt others too! I can't seem to be able to easily judge either on the phone or in person when it's my turn to speak, or when the other person has finished their speech.

Doctor and lawyer and cop show shows on TV
say no more

?

Do people interrupt each other a lot on doctor and lawyer shows? I don't think interruptions are bad. They help people get to the point.