How do you recognize people to be avoided?

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I've read, and experienced in my own life, that people on the autistic spectrum sometimes aren't the best judges of character, people's intentions, etc. Do you have any specific ways that you've learned to identify people who are likely to cause problems in your life? These can be people who are difficult, unscrupulous, or just not a "good fit" for you. What kinds of traits and behavior do these people exhibit early on that give you clues?

Last edited by Aperture on 01 Feb 2013, 1:03 pm, edited 2 times in total.

I just observe the person. Sooner or later they're going to talk to me, or they'll have to interact with me. I'll find out then.

I'm not good at judging who's ok and who's not, and keep getting tricked all the time.

Some people are so natural at pretending to be a nice person. But I have learned some things. For example, however nice someone may be to you, if he/she starts bitching to you about someone else quite easily, then that is an indication that he/she will eventually do or might already have been doing the same about you. Also, people who change their attitude depending on who's around or on the situation, also are not to be trusted.

There must be a lot more to learn, but I'm not good at picking these things up. So, I'll wait for other posters to give us some good advice.

Mostly I just don't forgive anyone who does hurt me, even in a fairly minor way.

How do I recognize people to be avoided? Let's see...

• They're pushing a shopping cart (trolley) nowhere near a market.
• They're strangers, and they're being nice to me when they don't have to.
• They reek of alcohol or reefer smoke.
• She's dressed for a party at 7:00 in the morning.
• They're talking to someone who isn't there, and without a cell phone or radio.
• They're wearing items that identify their religious or political affiliation.
• They seem obsessed with conspiracies, extra-terrestrials, cryptozoology, or doomsday prophesies.
• They offer a business opportunity, but they won't tell me what it is unless I attend a meeting in a far-away place.

That'll do for a start.

^Haha; I think you covered most of the bases. As far as potential 'friends' that should probably be avoided...I do the same, I just sit back and observe, if given a chance. I'm usually pretty good at noticing others without being noticed myself (lucky, eh?) so I sit back and see how that person interacts with other people. If they seem domineering, obnoxious, overy-confident or confrontational, I make mental note of it. If it's someone I'm forced to converse with randomly, such as on a bus or waiting in line at the store, I don't even give them a chance unless there's something ridiculously and obviously fantastic about them (a beautiful woman or a guy who I immediately discover, shares a common interest with me).

those who are trying to profit by your suffering
they will keep their customers where they want them

Aperture, I only speak for myself on this, but I've been able to learn to judge character--at least to a point. For example, I run a library, which means I've hired hundreds of people over the years. Since almost everybody I've hired has turned out to a good choice, that tells me that my character-judging skills have greatly improved over the years. Since this hasn't always been the case, and I'm pretty severely aspie, it is a skill that at least some of us can learn.

As a practical matter, I make initial judgments based upon a person's dress, and particularly by their eyes--and by the overall way people conduct themselves.

Something else I've learned is that when I run into somebody who is particularly unpleasant, rather than get angry or upset, I simply tell myself that it's good to know what they are about upfront so that I can avoid them in the future.

Finally, I've also learned that appearances can be deceiving. The person who dresses and comports themselves well can turn out to be a real jerk, and that person dressed like a bum may be a fine person. So, I'm always ready to change my first impressions.

Avoid people by default, but make a no avoid list for certain individuals.

I have learned through trial and error to go with instinct.

Some folks set off the alarm in my head. Every time I have ignored it and gone with the PC response I have been more than sorry.
Some bad people still get through, but not as many.

No list or advice, some people make me uneasy compared to most, I found there is a reason. I suspect the same reptile brain that keeps me from suicide is also warning me of bad people that should be avoided.

Yes, I am a hermit as that works best of all.

I don't have to suss these people out - they tend to act in a hostile, disrespectful manner to me from the word go so I know who they are straight away! lol

It's the upside of being seen as weird by the average person.

Anyone who doesn't accept you exactly as you are and is disrespectful towards you or needlessly makes you feel bad about yourself, anyone who is always asking you for favours or to borrow money, anyone who is happy to talk to you on your own but immediately becomes distant and avoids talking to you when other people come along and a group forms - these are all warning signs of people it's probably best to give a wide berth to.

I don't. I'm too trusting. There have been times when someone would think that I am very naive because of that and they think they can manipulate me and talk to me like I was stupid. That's when I would realize I made a mistake. But I don't come into contact with enough people to even worry about it.

I have been through so many situation in my life that I can kinda get a "feel" for who "might" do me wrong, but I generally just do my own thing. The genuine people and I sorta kinda find each other somehow, it's strange.

There are various things that will put me off people.
All of Fnord's list would apply (though I can't say I've encountered all those things).
Plus:
Complainers.
Criticizers.
Folks who often feel victimized by.......just life.
Folks who have very porous interpersonal boundaries.
Braggers.
Liars.
Drunks.

Beware of flatterers.

short people are nasty