Good old fashioned Aspie Bashing!

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Courtesy of my Facebook page and thanks to my brother in law who even has a teenage son on the spectrum... also some background - i have been in protracted period of burnout/shut down. (three months or so) In a relationship with my wife for ten years - the family has 'tolerated' me but never really liked me. I go on facebook yesterday and am confronted with the following: (ME: David. Brother in Law: Dale.)

Dale: Status: It is just crap how some people hide behind a illness and think everyone will drop everything so they can do what they want when they want .
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Jodie Webster and 3 others like this.

Trieste And some people work it well to their advantage too mate.
Yesterday at 9:26am via mobile · Like

David Who is ill?
23 hours ago · Like

Edie Yep difficult to cope with ego syntonic folk as they believe their behaviour is acceptable.
Physhological BS!
23 hours ago via mobile · Like

Dale Since you get on my fb page and comemted hear is what i think David.You haven't got a illness it just you can't get your own way even kids don't carry on as bad as you . It is about time you woke up and smelt the roses as you are a adult , it's about time you manned up and surrported your family instead of finding ways to get a free ride from everyone around you. Since you have landed in australia i could count on one hand the number of times you actualy worked and surrported you family.to me you are the most selfish slack ass person ive met.
16 hours ago via mobile · Like · 2

David People are angry and hurt - that's fine - I understand - but seriously? Playing lets bash the autistic/Aspergers person on Facebook? I honestly thought of all the people in this family you had more understanding than that especially seeing that you have first hand experience of this yourself. Oh and for what its worth - you are right - I don't have an illness - I have Aspergers - which is a disorder, but you should know this too. Its nice to see that you can form an opinion on what's going on without talking to me first too. Hope you have a good shift.
15 hours ago · Like

Dale Why should I have to talk to you first I can have a opinion you don't have to like what I say,and instead of looking on my facebook page get off your asre get yourself diagnosed by a doctor and not by google and get treatment so you can live a near normal live.
about an hour ago via mobile · Like · 1

David Yeah I have been diagnosed by a Dr. I have a psychiatrist appointment Wednesday to confirm that diagnosis.
39 minutes ago · Like

Dale So once you got your diagnosis and your on medication after a while you will have to think of something else to blame your action on.
8 minutes ago via mobile · Like



Really not sure what to say or if its even worth replying to....

(Edited to remove full names on the off chance that it would lead to one of them being located and....... dealt with.....)

Last edited by thingsthatfly on 11 Feb 2013, 6:53 pm, edited 1 time in total.

What an a**hole.

But why do they who don't even see AS as legit, seem so fascinated by wanting to bash others?

I wouldn't bother replying. Not worth the effort and aggravation.

Don't even bother talking to these people. There are always going to be people who insist invisible disabilities are fake, and they can go to hell.

I'm not going to tell you how you should handle this situation, but I think at the least you should give them the link to a site explaining the disorder, or have them talk to your psychiatrist. After they get the message I would personally never speak with them again (at least online).
They need to realize that there is no medication to treat AS properly, and about 90% of the meds that psychiatrists and doctors give are meds that won't work and are more likely to escalate other problems.
They need to also realize that they can't possibly know what it's like to have the condition and by giving you an ultimatum based on what they think you should be able to do, they're only downplaying your issues and making it seem like you're not good enough for them because they think you're just "being lazy".

I feel your pain, my grandmother doesn't understand AS either, she says the same things (granted not to my face because she knows she'd only hear an ear full of facts that she doesn't want to have to listen to). People like that have never had real debilitating issues and they honestly think everyone can do the same things, regardless of neurological difference.

Ultimately, the issues these people have with you, are their problems. They have to realize that this is the way your brain works, it's not a lifestyle choice. If they can't accept the fact that you can't do certain things that they can, and give you moral support, then they're not worth talking to, and with family I know that's hard, but it's not your problem, it's theirs, and they have to accept that and move on.

I wish you the best of luck with this.

I know it is not the point, but I am surprised that someone who can use "ego-syntonic" in a sentence cannot spell "Physhological."

Siblings stick together, especially those from chaotic and abusive upbringings. And to be honest, as an outsider some of your behavior looks pretty bad. However, I would not go to his fb page anymore or listen to a word he has to say. To do so gives him more power than he ought to have. Engaging him only gives him a stage to voice his bs.

That is the truth and I second it!

OP: Dealing with the same matters today and trust me, these people can only change their own minds and perspectives on their time. As much as it hurts, never internalize these statements from anyone. Family is the first to do it, authority figures/teachers/bosses/etc. come next. Hang in there and try to reach out to give information, but don't expect them to change. I hope they do though!

Thats funny!

It sounds like it's time Dale got a few grammar lessons...
Honestly, he sounds like an ignorant moron and I think any action on your part to help him understand your condition would be wasted. There are lots of people like him in the world and most of them never broaden their perspective...
If I were you, I would just ignore him but good luck with whatever you do anyways!

agree!

and also doesn't know the difference between your and you're.

Agree with every word.

But I suddenly got an insight into how certain people in my life might see me (but are too 'nice' to say so). Crap.
Guess I might have to prune a few people out of my life. I suspect they have made their minds up and will see any attempts to explain AS to them will be seen as another bunch of excuses.
In retrospect, I think they think I like to ruin everyone's good time by not going with them to social events. I never understood why they wanted me to go when I really hated it. Like I was just after attention. If only they knew how so UNTRUE that was.

There are none so blind as those who will not see. They can go to hell if they can't accept me.

And I suggest to make a similar decision.

Why did he have to post that in public on Facebook? If he had those feelings about you, I think he should have just told you in private. I disagree with what he says, but I guess he is entitled to his opinion...I just don't see why he had to lay into you in public. If anything, it would make him look like a dick to all his friends.

That's sheer ignorance. He is merciless. He is not worth your time. Don't even try to explain anything. Waste of time. Just kick him out of your life.

^^^ This