Ugh, my motivation's taken a hit

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I was just working on something and was feeling confident and everything about it but then I absent-mindedly closed out of the work I was doing in Word, as I had transferred it to Word, thinking it unnecessary to keep it open, but then I didn't save it. Afterward, I thought it might have been a good idea to save it, so I tried backing out of where I was working to get the original, but it was no longer showing the text there. I was like dang it! and tried to forward back to the work, but it had mysteriously disappeared from my browser's history, so I had completely lost my work! I feel really bad right now. I feel paralyzed, a pain inside me, like everyone here's looking at me/talking about me now, nothing's friendly or familiar anymore--I cannot think of anything pleasant or familiar without being reminded of what just happened--, a clutter of thoughts that clog up my mind like too much toilet paper clogs a toilet, and no more motivation to even look at anything related to that work anymore. I want to be done with it!

By the end of the post, though, I've calmed down somewhat, but it still hurts, and things still don't feel friendly or familiar, but rather seem judgmental and harsh, like they are judging me for what I just did, if that makes any sense.

Sounds like every day from my life.

Beneficii, I hope you don't sweat your loss too much. I was going through grad school in the mid-nineties and was doing my master's dissertation on a very early version of Word that didn't save work automatically. So, I worked all day and half the night. Then my computer crashed, and I lost that entire day's work since I was new to Windows and Word, and had forgotten to save my work.

I still didn't learn my lesson. When I was putting the finishing touches on my hundred-plus page dissertation, I only had it stored on one floppy. Being an early floppy, it didn't deal well with the school's library theft detection system and scrambled. Fortunately, my IT professor was able to retrieve it reasonably intact, though it took him several hours, and he wasn't happy about it. It took me many more hours to reformat it.

So, being hard-headed, I flirted with disaster twice before I learned to back things up, and in more than one place. Computers used to be referred to as virtual reality, and with good reason.

Thanks. I'm gonna restart it. It's not too long. It's just the whole principle of the matter. I still feel some pain from it, though; perhaps finishing it will satiate that pain.