Asperger's?

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Well, i have been diagnosed by an "aspergers" expert. He says that I have Aspergers but i dont quite believe him. After doing lots of research and thinking back to my childhood and adolesence, only about 60% of the symptoms fit. And those that fit can easily be the cause of other things.

For example, my lack of social abilities can be caused by the following.

I was born in germany and came to South Africa when I was 11 months old. I lived on a secluded farm until I was 12 years old. It was only me, my parents and farm workers on the farm. There where no kids my age that lived close by. The school I attended was about 3 kilometers away in a town that was very small. It only has one post office, one petrol station etc. Population: 2000 whites and about 10 000 brown/blacks.

In my class at school, there where about 10 whites and 20 brown or blacks. I am no racist but since we where german, our cultures where different so i didnt have much in common with them.

So basically, 12 years in isolation apart from school every day.

Also, since i was german, i wasnt fluent in afrikaans and english, and always had a obvious german accent.

That would explain lack of social skills, language problems and lack of friends and the feeling of not fitting in with the others. Also lack of relationships with girls since there were only about 5 white girls in the whole town. Again, no racism.

I also didnt really have a learning problem. I was always top of the class until high school but then i just didnt want to study or do homework anymore.

There were also no real problems "reading" people. I was always and am still very good at reading body language and knowing what the person means.

I also never had any "special interests" that were obsessions. I had some hobbies and pursued them with passion but nothing out of the ordinary. I also never had the urge to tell people or my parents about my hobbies and never led monologues about them without giving the other person a break to speak.

Those are the reasons why I dont believe i have aspergers, but maybe. very mild form of it.

I am leaning to Conflicted Avoidant Personality Disorder but 2 psychiatrists i have seen in the last month said no to that and went to Aspergers.

So, now my question to you is, does that sound like aspergers to you?

Do you identify with posts on this forum? Do coping mechanisms commonly utilized by those on the spectrum help you? I think those are more important than knowing for certain whether you have AS or not.

Wouldn't there still be a cultural barrier regardless of skin color? Or were they German too?

If you're not racist (and I'm not assuming you are) why do you feel the need to point out what colour people are all the time? To someone that isn't racist, I don't see how it should make any difference at all.

I can't speak to whether you're on the spectrum or not... but it is fairly clear you are at least a little racist, despite your protest that you are not.

It's a matter of how you present your ideas about how to classify people. You have chosen to classify people as white, brown, and black. That, at the core, is a racist way of thinking. Maybe you don't hold any group as more important than the others, and that is great. But the mere fact you seperate people in your mind and in your writing by skin color, is pretty conclusive.

Yes, there are differing cultures. But drawing the line for what seperates a culture from another culture by a physical characteristic like skin color is racist, simple as that.

I wouldn't hold it against you or anything, South Africa has made some progress as far as racism is concerned, but it is still a highly divided country. There is still a lot of segregation, and ethnic turmoil... these things don't just vanish quickly... they linger. You might not even be able to fully remove yourself from identifying people by skin color groupings... But maybe you can, if you work at it. If you decide you care enough to free yourself from that mentality and way of thinking.

I think that may be something South Africa hasn't moved past yet.

otoh, we haven't moved past being gender-specific.

I think he's trying to emphasize how different he is from them? Which is kind of what racism springs up from, so...

In a society like South Africa, colour is a very good indicator of culture, even more so than in Europe or North America.

I don't believe he is being racist. I think he is just indicating that the expectations between the cultures about integrating with each other are there, just stating how it is, not that he necessarily buys into that. If his parents kept him separate from his black peers, that could have been to do with racism or other reasons, but that would have been their lifestyle choices not his.

I think he just wants to give as much detail and background on his situation as possible to enable people to give their opinions based on the fullest picture.

As to whether you have AS or not OP, is there any indication whether AS is a 'fashionable' diagnosis where you live? How experienced were the clinicians? Did they give a full report and if so, have you read the details? They should have been able to explain how you met the criteria. For instance, when it came down to the stereotyped and repetitive behaviours, if they are unable to indicate how you meet this, then there may be reason to question what you have been told. Is it possible your parents steered them towards AS rather than have you labelled with a mental or personality disorder? I think you need to look further into the details.

It is entirely possible that you do have AS and that your upbringing was coincidental and didn't cause your traits. As the true cause of AS isn't yet known, it could be that you had genetics that were susceptible to the environment in bringing it out.

Well maybe I am racist but that isn't important. The other coloureds here are mostly uncivilized, unintelligent and have other values. Also there would still be a cultural barrier regardless of skin color.

Now back to more relevant things as racism has nothing to do with AS.

I first saw a general psychiatrist who recommended me to a guy that specializes in ASD.

He then saw me and my mom for about 20 minutes and mostly talked to her and asked me some questions. He then said that he suspects that I have undiagnosed aspergers.

Then a week later he saw me and my mom for about 2 hours and asked more thourough questions. He then confirmed that I have aspergers but he didnt give any paperwork or gave much detail about how I meet the criteria.

I am seeing him again on Wednesday for "feedback".

About for AS being fashionable, no, nobody here knows what it is.

I do identify with some posts on this forum. My coping mechanisms are smoking, drinking and going somewhere where I am alone and undisturbed.

Here are some more things about me.

I have a weird gait, don't know what to do with my arms and feel uncomfortable running.

I don't have empathy, don't show empathy and don't want to show empathy.

I have no remorse.

I was always bullied because I was weird.

I love any drug and love alcohol.

I've never had a girlfriend but desperately want one.

I don't really want a job because I'm uncomfortable in social situations where I can be judged, criticized and told what to do.

I hate authority of any kind.

I stiffen up when my parents hug me but don't have that problem with others my age.

I like routine and predictability.

I am not sensitive to things like sound, light, taste, touch or texture.

I don't have any obsessions or abnormal special interests.

I speak in monotone.

I fear being embarrassed or humiliated in public.

I don't engage in one sided, long winded speeches about things.

Having smoking and drinking as coping mechanisms are applicable to the general population they are nothing to do with AS. Needing to be alone could well be an indicator of AS.



Numbers 1), 2) and 4) are not features of AS, although 2) and 4) could be personality traits that someone with AS could have or develop, the same as anyone else.

3) Sensory issues are common in AS but are not present in all people with AS, and some people have under-sensitivity.

Lol...no shame my man....no shame...

Besides that...your avatar is awesome.

How can I not be a racist when I lack empathy and remorse?

I came from a family with Dutch-Trekboer roots, and I'm very educated on what it's like in South Africa, even though I'm not from there myself. Your attitude is racist, but you come from an extremely racist society. (SA, not Germany. Though that has it's own historical problems...) I'm going to guess that you lived closer to Johannesburg than Cape Town, and the economic disparity can be massive between races.

It's kind of a terrible place to go into if you aren't Afrikaner, British, Boer, or native. Seeing as they all seem to hate each other to some degree. Honestly though I can relate. I grew up with a lot of Dutch in my childhood, and going into school (Rural Midwest USA, 100% White, Majority of them related to eachother. {That wasn't a joke}), I stood out. I didn't fit in culturally, and got bashed for just about everything. My accent, my families religion, etc etc. (Not to mention I came from the ONLY family with a dutch last name, everyone single family there was Irish or Norwegian.)

Growing up like that sucked, and I didn't have half the problems you must have had in SA.

As far as your diagnosis, I don't think you're autistic based on what you've written. You sound like someone who has had a sh***y time growing up, and I suspect that your problems lie in other realms of the mind. I get more of a Antisocial or Schizoid Personality Disorder feel from what you've written, though I am no expert.

Easy. Whether someone is a racist or not has nothing to do with empathy or remorse.

em·pa·thy
noun
1. the intellectual identification with or vicarious experiencing of the feelings, thoughts, or attitudes of another.

re·morse
noun
1. deep and painful regret for wrongdoing; compunction.
2. Obsolete . pity; compassion.

If you look at someone of a different colour or race in general and, without knowing anything about the individual, you automatically think.... well, I don't know exactly, I'm not a racist but clearly it would be something negative. Racists are prejudice against someone for no reason, just the colour and/or ancestry, which they have no control over. Nothing to do with their past, choices they've made or personality, just what race they were born as.

I think I'm more of a racist against the other coloureds that live here and aren't very educated. I think if I lived in America, England or Germany my attitude towards them would be different.

Have a look at these to see if any fit:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dissocial_ ... der#ICD-10
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Schizoid_p ... y_disorder
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Psychopathy