Trouble finding the right words....

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When you are trying to express information that you experience predominantly as a feeling, sense of understanding, sensation or image in your head do you have trouble finding the right words to express it? Not everything I experience in my head is done so via words...some things have no words at all.

I often find that one reason I can ramble a bit is because I am searching for the right words to use but am struggling to find them. So I will say something one way, think 'hmmm that's not what I mean exactly' so you then try and say it another way but 'hmmmm that's not what I mean either' ummmmm.......eerrrr.....ummmmmm.........

Meanwhile you're getting flustered because someone is waiting impatiently for a reply....

Also, even if you do manage to find the right words to express something do you find that the person you are expressing it to can attach a completely different meaning to them than you (I don't mean dictionary definition...I mean personal meanings and connotations). For example you might experience the colour purple as a warm soothing colour, another person can experience the colour purple quite differently. You then try to express your experience of the colour purple but cannot do so in a way that the other person can understand because they don't experience the colour purple in the same way as you do. They will then also insist that their perception of the colour purple is the only right perception of the colour purple even though your experience of the colour purple is very different to theirs.

This can make communicating very difficult and is often why things like therapy fall flat on its ass for me. My inability to express exactly what I am feeling regardless of what words I use. Even if I do find the right words (or the words that I feel best fit what I am experiencing) the other persons experiences/perceptions/connotations of what I am talking about are so different to mine that we actually end up talking about completely different things! Now if I am calm I can adjust my perception of the colour purple by using my imagination (I can sometimes induce physical sensations etc just by imagining them or at the very least recall what they feel like...it depends) and looking at it differently or imagining different sensations being associated with it. This can allow me to understand the other person if I don't get blind sided by my own frustration about not being able to get them to understand me (then I just get side tracked by endless debate that never fully gets resolved). However, regardless of how hard I try I fail to get the other person to understand my perception of things if I only have words alone to do it with.

Sometimes I need them to experience it with a touch, a texture, a smell, an look, an image and so on...or another sensation that allows them feel what I am feeling rather than just experiencing words by themselves. This why the internet is a pain to communicate on lol.

In other words, they need to feel it for themselves.

Anyone have the same problem?

I experience exactly the same, language never feels natural to me, it's like using something that you just learned hours ago. It just doesn't feel comfortable, ever. Speaking is so exhausting that I usually just prefer not to. I would much rather type and have everything dictated by a robot rather than having to speak myself. Thinking of words is a lot easier(still really difficult) as opposed to actually speaking.

Ditto. No matter what I say or how I say it, I always feel as if the point I was trying to make, or how I was trying to describe something, just never seems to come across. "What's the word I'm looking for?" or "How can I say this?" It get frustrating at times.
I like to write and the images I get in my head never seem to translate into exactly how I want to describe them. I'll write out a scene the best I can and reread it...and I feel as if I haven't written it the way I wanted to. I'll rewrite and rewrite and still never seem to say what I mean or describe what I see. I'm getting that feeling even as I write this.

I actually experienced this today. I was trying to explain to my dad and stepmom why I wanted to move away from the state I live in. I know why I want to and it makes sense to me, but I just couldn't explain it to them. It didn't make sense to them. But it made/makes sense to me.
It's something I've struggled with my entire life. Trying to explain my feelings about a movie, a band, a song, anything. Why I like certain colors, why I like certain books...I can't explain them. Why I don't trust certain people, etc etc. It's an endless cycle with no resolution.

Yes I struggle with the same thing!

Unfortunately I have not yet found a solution to it. Certainly not in situations where I have to rely on words to do it.

I considered using art and taking an art class to hone my skills, but if I start drawing people pictures I am worried they will take it the wrong way and think I am patronising them when I am just trying to explain lol.

I used to catch hell for the way I drew people back in high school. I always drew them the way I saw them, and somehow it was always unflattering to the people I drew. :/ I gave up on that pretty quickly.
Using words verbally to describe something...well, makes me sound less than eloquent. I stutter and stumble over words all the time, which is amazing considering my vast vocabulary. Before I say something I try and rehearse it in my head. Which is a 50/50 thing. Half of the time it works and I'm able to coherently explain what I mean. Half of the time people just look at me funny. Or in the case of dealing with customers over the phone: awkward silences. "Excuse me, young man?"
So I make sense to myself, but I sound like I'm babbling to other people. But living in "Hick-town"...well, there're multiple reasons why they do not understand me.
"What in the hell is an aqui...aqui....aqua-velva?"
"Uh...an aquifer...?"
Actual conversation. Off topic, but I find it funny. Forgive me. lol

Oh the old "explanatory gap" rears its ugly head again! I think this is why I took to music so early in life. There is no need for explanation, just experience. Hopefully if I'm any good at it, they will feel what I am feeling with no need for words. Yay music
Of course music isn't applicable in every situation. 'Why do you find my friend creepy?' 'Hold on, let me play you this piece so you can feel what I feel'
Wouldn't it be great?

Wgat did you say that didnt make sense to them?

I told them that while I have a future with my job and decent opportunities, there are other states that pay people in my line of work MUCH better.
I told them that I wanted to move because I was tired of not fitting in with the rednecks, and being looked on as different. I told them that I wanted a chance at a fresh start with a job that I'm already good at, but that actually pays well.
And my job has the potential to be very high-paying. Just...Louisiana is a poor state. :/
I might not have been as forward with them as I was here, but they have a tendency (my stepmom especially) to interrupt me whenever I stutter or stumble over a thought. Which makes me lose my train of thought.

That is a perfectly reasonable line of thought. Makes perfect sense.

I can stumble over words too when I am speaking, despite my much stronger writing style. The two are vastly different and I sound nothing in person like I sound online.

For online communications, I wanted to give an accurate picture based on who I am and I did try posting video replies but the group I did so in took offense to my video replies and I got told off.

I dunno you try a new idea and well...

It's not like no one else has ever done it, they do it all the time on youtube, apparently they don't like it in that forum though. In which case I pointed out they should stipulate that in the rules!

Yes!

I think one of my biggest issues is that I can't pair down what I want to say from say 1000 to 100 words. When I try I can't be understood well at all, I know rereading some of my forum posts I can see it clearly. The issue is no one wants to hear my life story so I have to try to simplfy my thoughts. Another thing that makes it harder is when I know or think my opinion is not welcome so finding the right words becomes impossable becouse there really arn't any, this leads to a muteism of sort becouse I now have nothing to say becouse no right words exist. With my social anxity I need to find the right words in order to talk with any real meaning.

[quote=


I told them that while I have a future with my job and decent opportunities, there are other states that pay people in my line of work MUCH better.
I told them that I wanted to move because I was tired of not fitting in with the rednecks, and being looked on as different. I told them that I wanted a chance at a fresh start with a job that I'm already good at, but that actually pays well.
And my job has the potential to be very high-paying. Just...Louisiana is a poor state. :/
I might not have been as forward with them as I was here, but they have a tendency (my stepmom especially) to interrupt me whenever I stutter or stumble over a thought. Which makes me lose my train of thought.[/quote]
What about printing out your post or writing out your story for them to read so you can get the points across without interruption?

If (or when) you have gotten into an argument with someone who complained at you about doing something, that in the grand scheme of things, was actually a really minor thing and which should not really have been all that much of a big deal (it was just that they found it irritating), have you, after attempts to discuss things rationally and reasonably in order to find a resolution and end the debates failed because they refused to listen to your perspective, deliberately carried on with the so called annoying behaviour just to annoy the hell out of them?

My apologies for the run on sentence there!

This happens when I have to be concise sometimes lol

Makes sense to me.

But -you said you stuttered, and were not forward, and got interrupted.''

Maybe you need a sounding board- a friend to say things to first. Or even just write it down on your word processor first- to marshal your thoughts- before you verbalize it to the people in your life.

Yeah, this.