What were your parents' reaction to your diagnosis?

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Were they supportive, in denial, or rejecting?

For the last 27 years, I've tried to earn the affection of my parents by doing all the good things a child should do. But, after this week, I'm starting to realize that may never be obtainable. After disclosing to my mother of my diagnosis, for the first time, her response was as follows:

"Your older sister recently dated a guy that had it - thank god you are not like him and never could be as he was a total schizoid nut case and got extremely violent with her to the point she had to call the police. Surely when she goes to law school she'll find some normal person."

If anyone has read my older post regarding my sister, then you'll know how hurtful it is that her reaction to my diagnosis is to talk about my sister. Meanwhile, my dad's reaction was (and still) in complete denial of the existence of AS--and he's a doctor.

Complete denial. I even sent them a copy of my official psychiatric assessment, but to no avail...

Eventually, I gave up even mentioning it, as it was completely pointless...

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aHxr2etrfKc[/youtube]

Mum thought the questions had something to do with me having to get a security clearance, and I am of no inclination to tell her otherwise..

My parents luckily knew quite a bit about the autism spectrum before I was suspected of having Asperger's. My two younger siblings had more apparent symptoms and were diagnosed with varying degrees of autism before me.

When my diagnosis finally arrived, I sensed that my parents were more anxious about the implications than I was. After a bit of reassurance on my end, they calmed down. We've been on solid terms ever since.

My mother pressed me to get a diagnosis for years, even when I didn't want to.

I first brought up Asperger's when I was 19, and my parents were like "nahhhh. Autistic children never learn to speak." I forgot about it too. Then, my mom happened to be at a conference with a speaker with Asperger's who talked about his childhood experience, which caused her to start pressing me to get one. So, when I got it, it was totally expected.

I haven't been professionally diagnosed yet, but it seems my mother loves to label me as one, make jokes about it and thinks that I'm a "savant". What a load of cockadonkeys....

In a cafe after the diagnosis had taken place my Dad said they were always making up these conditions to explain everything, like dyslexia (he was always saying people with dyslexia were just thick).

I lost my temper and had a go at him. It was so predictable that he'd never take the diagnosis seriously as he might then have to admit to himself what an unreasonable bully he'd been to me over the years. He wanted to maintain his fixed idea of me as in some way inferior without having to be called on it and the only way he could do this was by rejecting the diagnosis and what it meant.

He's in a care home now with Alzheimer's, not able to remember what was said to him two minutes ago and I'm expected to play the dutiful daughter role - mainly as no one else gives a toss! - certainly not the NT son he dotes on who put him in the care home in the first place and conveniently lives in another country and stays there most of the time! Talk about testing my patience!

denial and laughter - I wish I had said nothing

I have no idea. I was like four or five years old when I got my diagnosis. Since then, it's just been a fact of life, and they've always treated me well and accounted for my disabilities, but I have no clue if they've always wanted a "normal" child instead.

I got diagnosed last November.

With my mom, supportive isn't exactly the right word. She didn't deny it, but she was quiet about her opinion.

My dad was very supportive. I think it's because he saw me in more social settings than my mom and saw me get into more social trouble. Plus, he had more interaction with people I screwed up around. My godfather, my dads BFF, had 3 boys roughly around my age. When you saw me interact with them, you knew something was up. To this day, even though we've known each other most of our lives, I still have a hard time having a conversation with them.

The worst reaction I've gotten has been from my old sister, who, even my sweet Christian mother admits, is a b***h. What's worse is that she almost has a masters degree in Psychology, which she wields like a 10-year-old wielding an AK-47, and she demonstrates that Psychology is the limit of what she knows of the brain and seems to think that "neurobiology" isn't a real thing. She's very nosy, frequently tries to offer her opinion and forces her way into everyones business. She tries to "help" people, but the help she gives relies heavily on soft science and new age medicine. She is the liberal that even democrats despise.

She has in her mind an romanticized idea of me and when I step out of the idea, which I frequently do, she does everything in her power to compensate and comes up with excuses. When I came out as a transsexual, she said that I was an confused lesbian (which is funny because I'm attracted to men), tried to stop me from transitioning and said only awful things about my therapist. When I came out as someone who is suffering from Depression, she chuckled and said, "I think your feelings are normal and that you think they're abnormal." (this pisses me off the most because I've been on the brink of suicide multiple times and have only stopped because I know most suicides end in failure).

Her attitude has not changed at all since I've been diagnosed. She still comes up with the same excuses as to why there's nothing wrong with me. Every time she's in the same room as me, she has to say something about how I'm a hypochondriac, how my mom needs to give me the boot and how she, my sister, can "help" me.

Sorry if the last three paragraphs seem like a rant. That woman is a straight up bully and really grinds my gears. It's a countdown until she says something that forces me to disown her.

my parenyts were split up when i got the diagnosis so my dad found out first, he was completely shocked and denial but my mom had always suspected and so did my 5 aunts and all 10 of my cousins

My parents were very relieved.