"what if they stopped speaking" -A post found on f

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I found this on facebook it was written by a friend of mine she does a lot of good writing about autism. I was wondering what do others think? I was wondering what others on the spectrum thought about this?

Here is the link

https://www.facebook.com/notes/samantha ... 8043763891

Anyone in the world can choose whether to use their voice or not. Either way no-one can force them and it's not a crime. I find this an odd question.

Being high functioning does mean that it's a more invisible disability and people have far less understanding or sympathy, but that's as much as I can comment.

that's like choosing not to breath.

Like whirlingmind said, I feel like there's some missing context that is making it hard for me to grasp the point of the question.

Of course, anyone has the right not to speak if they don't want to. (A few days ago I saw "Incredibly Close and Extremely Loud" on TV and the old man who doesn't speak is coming to mind.) Whether other people will accept it seems complicated, though.

I gather that some of the questions are asking, "does a person have a right not to speak if speaking affects them adversely or requires inordinate effort that detracts from other things?" I.e. if someone can write easily and well on a pad or phone as opposed to struggling to speak badly, should they be allowed to use the pad or phone even if they can technically speak?"

IMO, yes, they ought to be allowed to do that, but I'm not sure what portion of the general public would agree. Also, doctors and specialists are likely to push speaking at any cost. It sounds like the question is what is the balance of social convention and other people's discomfort vs. one's own functioning/energy-allocation and own discomfort.

That's my 2c, anyway.

Not really. More like choosing not to walk. And for some people, for whom walking is so difficult as to take all of their energy just to get somewhere, it's a valid choice. (Occasionally breathing does fall into this category, when people decide to go on a ventilator because long-term breathing on their own is too draining, but the walking example is probably more understandable.)

I think that if someone wanted to stop speaking, I would want to be sure that they had some way to communicate, so that they would not be vulnerable to having their power to decide for themselves taken away. And I would want to get them counseling to make sure that this was actually what they wanted--that it wasn't actually something else, like wanting people to stop using their ability to speak to order them around, or being allowed to withdraw when they needed to rest. I would want to make sure that they know what they are doing--that their decision not to speak is something they have thought through carefully.

It is a common problem that autistic people are forced to live in panic mode, trying to maintain their theoretical best high-level skills just to keep up with the expectations of the NTs around them. It is like running a marathon every day. Your muscles get tired and start to break down. Soon burnout sets in. Trying to maintain a higher energy output than you are capable of is not a wise choice, but many people are forced to do it anyway because NTs who haven't thought about it think that once you have a skill, you can use it as easily as they do. This is not the case. Sometimes the autistic people themselves don't understand that. But sooner or later you just run out of resources.

Being forced to speak all the time even when it is extremely hard, when it takes all your effort just to keep it up, would be a bad thing. An autistic person who protests this by not speaking at all is exercising their right to self-determination, whether they know it or not--but ideally, it would be better if they were not forced to keep up such a high level of effort to begin with. Things could be simplified, with PECS or sign to stand in for communication when they were tired. They could get help with other areas of their life, so that they wouldn't have to work so hard on those things. Cutting back on the high-level skills is not "giving up"; it's smart management of your available energy, so that you can do what's really important to you.

I encourage eberryone, autistic and non-autistic, to stop speaking and communicate through other means.

Chirp chirp tweet tweet.

I have chosen not to speak at large overstimulating parties before, my choice is usually determind by the realization that I have fallen into a very low fuctioning state and what I can say would be of very low quality so my efforts then focus on getting through the event without sevarely shuting/melting down or falling asleep from tireing myself out. Not speaking is a valid and effective way of coping I think. I often stick to simple Hi, bye, thank you etc. in daily life as thats usually all I need to use anyway.

I am glad I can speak though as I can't imageine how I would live life without it.

[humming sound which represents telepathy]

On a more serious note it would be kind of nice if interaction didn't always require verbalization. Maybe a national "No Speaking Day" would be good? People could point at things and type and do "parallel play" and ...?

I don't have massive problems with speech, but it is something that my brain does rather poorly (slowly and inefficiently) and is at times a PITA.

I don't think you should try to take speech away from people who prefer to use it. For me, speech is fun and easy and I'd hate to not be able to speak anymore. But I know this isn't true of everyone, and I support the right to use the communication system that is most effective for you instead of trying to force yourself to use a less optimal system because of society's prejudices.

Most of the time I appreciate speech. However there are times when I do not want to say anything about any topic to anybody.

Really don't understand this. If someone chooses not to speak it is very worrying as they may find they lose the ability to speak as well as previously if they then decide to speak again. Many people with physical issues do not walk as much as they need and end up disabled. Everyone has choices but they need to be aware of the possible consequences of theses choices. Contrary to some of the posts I have seen here, people with AS are not intellectually challenged and should be able to weigh up the consequences of their decision.

When I can't speak, people seem to want to force me to speak. When I couldn't speak for a week last year my mother told everyone to stop pushing me to talk, but a month or so ago I couldn't speak and my mother started asking me rapidfire questions when I didn't verbally answer her until I left, and when I mentioned to her the next day she said she was only expressing concern. She knows that kind of questioning causes me significant stress when I am verbal, and she is aware that sometimes I can't speak, but she does it anyway and then deflects me when I ask her to not do it again.

My case manager let me use her computer to communicate but she made it clear that she prefers when I am able to speak, but my communication is more direct and less circumstantial in writing and I can get my point across without constant diversions.

Anyway, I have times I can't talk and times I don't want to talk and I really do not enjoy others pushing me to talk because apparently talking is good and not talking is bad.

I like the questions. I think they are challenging and interesting, particularly as someone who finds speech difficult in many circumstances - not having to do if I didn't want to would lift a lot of stress and pressure off me. I would never stop speaking altogether because of the implications that would have, but I appreciate the idea of something like "talking breaks". I'd like to have a badge saying, "Not speaking today; please only talk to me if it is important" - but of course, to NTs, that's extremely rude.

I also wonder about this in regard to more severely autistic children, who tend to be pushed very hard to speak. I have a cousin with classic autism and his mother pushes him to speak a lot. I completely understand why - I know independence is the goal - but I sometimes wonder if the children want to, and if they would choose another method of communication as their preferred one if they had the choice. NT people might find speaking the most natural and convenient method of communication but the assumption that the same is true for everyone should not necessarily go unchallenged. I'm very lucid and intelligent in text but when I speak verbally I fall over the words and have trouble getting out what I mean; I sound slow and stupid and it's extremely frustrating. All of my friends are people I know online because I can communicate with them in the way that is easiest for me - I would be delighted if the people around me would type-talk with me instead of communicating verbally!

But nobody understands my stridulations. Why don't people speak spider?

And really, why should speech be equated with independence? There are other systems (such as text to speech, pecs, etc) that augment communication.

It often seems to me that when treating autism, the appearance of normalcy is valued over all else.