act NT/"normal" with some people? ("turn off&

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(I tried to organize this the best I could, I'm sorry if it's hard to read...)
debating this with my mother today; she said no, I argue yes.

She believes that someone with AS can't be "normal" at all in any circumstance or with any person.
EX:
at home if it is JUST me and her, I can act fairly normal, a side of me that no one else ever sees..

I argue that it is because I am COMFORTABLE. Comfortable = No stress, no stress = no stimming or anxiety, etc.
(going to be evaluated soon if it is AS; have add, anxiety, mild ocd)

She says that if someone has AS they can't act normal in any situation. in her words, "they can't *stop* having whatever they've got, even at home when they're comfortable", if you can do it (be calm/normal) at home you can't have AS.
- I disagree with this.
(she thinks I am just being an a$$ when she has people stay over at our house, she doesn't understand that she is making me extremely uncomfortable and taking away the one time I'm "normal"... which is the only way she really sees me, so when I act like I do in public/normal situations she gets really pissed at me... Am I making any sense?)


Anyhow...
Can YOU "turn off" your AS when you are comfortable or in a situation or environment that you are at your calmest?
What are your thoughts on this?

(I tried to organize this the best I could, I'm sorry if it's hard to read...)

Most people who have known me for any length of time know me as being perhaps a bit odd, wierd, or just plain different. It's not all that bad in their opinion, they just see me as a bit "different", but nothing all that strange compared to many of the others I worked with (a hi-tech computer co.). However, my partner sees a whole lot more. To her I am most definitely AS, through and through. That's because she see's the melt downs etc. that others don't.

I mostly notice my issues only when they become issues, at home the people there know how to talk to me, are used to and have adapted to me(I have also to them) and therefore I have very little issues eventhough I know my deficets are always present to a degree. Like they let me freely monolouge about whatever and it feels natural to everyone at home however its still AS beheaviour and it can't be turned off without a new brain.

There are some things I can't suppress or force myself to do at all, things like eye contact which I can't force consistently lest I can't take in a conversation, or tip toe walking.

But generally it's actually when I'm comfortable and alone that I seem to be doing more things like rocking or verbal stimming etc.

This isn't entirely something I consciously control though and it's entirely possible I do these things outside the home also but because I'm focused on other things, do not notice I'm doing them.

yeah I kinda understand what your saying. You can turn on and off aspie/NTness based on your level of comfort.

My mom believes its a linear level of development. Once I can act NTish in 1 situation, I have the ability to act like that anywhere and everywhere despite 90% of the circumstances. She doesnt understand I can have a large range of abilities all at the same time which depends on my comfort level. And she gets pissed off when I dont act NT when she wants me to and thinks I'm just deliberately putting on attitude when I dont. She also doesnt realize that scolding me and giving me dumb reasons is gonna make me. The more mad I get the less NT I'm likely to be.