"Don't take things too personally"

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Most people don't actually hate you, they're just spiteful because of some completely unrelated reason. The advice is to recognise that unless that behaviour is specifically directed towards you, they're probably just having a bad day or are terrible in general.

I think they say it with respect to the fact that many people have the ability to choose whether to take something potentially insulting/upsetting personally or not. I think most people aren't that emotionally sensitive and hence can shrug off a lot of things that would wound a more sensitive person a lot. They think all people are like them ie thick skinned.

The way to test this though would be to say something insulting back to this person and see if it upsets them. If it does you can then give them their own advice back!

YES I MOST CERTAINLY DID TOO SPECIFICALLY MEAN EVERY SINGLE WORD OF MY LAST POST HERE, PLUS IF THERE'S ANYTHING I ABSOLUTELY DON'T WANT AND DON'T NEED ARE IS BEING DRAGGED DOWN BY REPULSIVE SONOFABITCH LOWLIFES LIKE DAFFYDUCK1973 (OR DAFFYDUCK73 FOR THAT MATTER) OR PEOPLE WHO INSIST ON GOING OUT OF THEIR WAY RIDING AND BLOWING UP s**t IN MY FACE OR BEHIND MY BACK ABOUT ME THAT ISN'T AT ALL TRUE, THEN THINK THEY HAVE THE BALLS TO BE ALL SMOOTH, COCKY, AND NONCHALANT ABOUT IT.

f**k YOU, HOBART INDIANA FOREVER

f**k YOU, BEN AFFLECK AND YOUR OSCAR ACCEPTANCE SPEECH AND SIDING WITH SUCH A REPULSIVE PISS-POOR TOWN FULL OF COCKY-ASS REDNECKS, PUNKS, AND CONSERVATIVES

FURTHERMORE, EVEN WHEN I DO HAVE THE SUDDEN TENDENCY TO GET NERVOUS OR UNGLUED, NO I AM AT ALL DOING WHAT'S CALLED "SETTING YOURSELF UP FOR FAILURE" OR "SETTING YOURSELF FOR LIP SERVICE", BECAUSE WITHOUT GENERALIZING, I ALREADY HAPPEN TO BE VERY HUMBLE AND VERY SINCERE IN EVERTHING I DO SO BACK TO SQUARE ONE I MOST CERTAINLY DID TOO SPECIFICALLY MEAN WHAT I SAID IN MY LAST TWO POSTS HERE BECAUSE IT'S HIGH SCHOOL ALL OVER AGAIN, BACK TO SQUARE ONE YOU CAN SERIOUSLY KISS SOMEBODY'S ELSE'S ASS NOT MINE, END OF SUBJECT

f**k YOU HOBART, INDIANA

f**k YOU, BEN AFFLECK FOR YOUR OSCARS ACCEPTANCE SPEECH AND FOR SIDING WITH A PISS-POOR TOWN FULL OF COCKY-ASS REDNECKS, PUNKS, AND CONSERVATIVES (AND THAT ALSO INCLUDES REPULSIVE SONOFABITCH LOWLIFES TOO)

I think they say it when they think they're offering "constructive criticism". Like, "I'm not saying this to hurt your feelings, but..." The younger you are the more susceptible you are to it. I got deluged with it as a kid, teens, twenties... but it started to taper off in my thirties and became rare in my forties. I've gotten gruffer looking with age, so maybe I'm more intimidating looking. Plus after so many years of this, I know what's coming and probably give them a certain look that tells them they might be sorry if they continue.

People only pull this nonsense on people they think they can get away with it on.

It is hard not to take things "personally" if you are in the minority

For example, a homophobic precious lil "person" had the nerve to tell me "you make people uncomfortable with the way you dress!"

And I took it personally

But not many people in San Diego 2006 crossdressed (or the homophobic precious lil "person" thought they were not crossdressing)

I've always hated this phrase. I've also always hated the phrase, "You're too sensitive." I stayed working at a factory for three years to prove to people that I wasn't "too sensitive". That blew up in my face, big time. I ended up falling apart mentally and emotionally.

Cockney rebel

They tell you whatever they want

And then tell you you are "too sensitive"

When you do or say the slightest thing they don't like, they say you were "rude" , "disrespectful". Or ", you don't care about anyone except yourself"






Not a two way street

Not an even playing field

It became more hurtful to me as I realized that the only change in me was that I was getting older, but no smarter. In fact, there were years in which I thought I was hitting a new low all the time. I hated getting more and more behind in learning adult milestones and was losing the abilities I had. Yes, hearing that expression is hard, but even harder is the knowledge that I was going nowhere fast.

I have made considerable improvements over the past five years, but I know that I started too late and might never catch up enough to have all of the things an average person my age would have. There are so many conversations I will be left out of forever.

I think it just means that some people may seem like they're being harsh on you but they really aren't meaning to be and you need to learn not to think that everybody in the world is out to hurt you just because they yell at you or correct you.

I'm a very sensitive guy at heart and I tend to take things too personally as well but then I have to calm myself and think about why they were talking to me the way they were. Sometimes it really is because I was in the wrong and they were just trying to help me not hurt my feelings.

Assume that the persons actions and statements had little to do with you, and you were just in the wrong place at the wrong time

Assume the person treats everyone like that

Yeah well I ain't totally full of myself, unlike almost everyone else that I have ever interacted with

They act like they are perfect

Arrogance might be the most functional method of dealing with the world

"If you can't beat them, join them"

I must confess that I have never heard it used that way- as a preface to a statement.

Someone saying "dont take this personally, but..." and then some criticism. Never heard that said to me (or to a third party either).

I have heard "with all due respect...I think that you are XYZ...".

Have occasionally heard it after I got angry at a friend for talking trash. He would say "you take stuff too personally"- like he is just talking the way bricklayers talk at the construction sites he works at. And thats the mode he expects me to get into. And there can be something to that. Its complicated. Like everything else in human interaction it depends upon context.