Narrow Social Desires

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I want to find out whether autistic people have trouble making/keeping friends or disinterest in friends because they have only one or a few social desires.

For example, someone else posted on here that she wanted friends only to have someone with shared interests—little or no interest in another person's history, feelings, family, other friends, non-shared hobbies, job, etc.

Little or no desire to have a friend to comfort you when you're upset, to talk to about day-to-day stuff like what happened at work or what you had for lunch, to go shopping with, etc.

Not really motivated by people being nice to you, not caring about compliments or people liking you unless you like them too, etc.

I have wondered why I hardly ever feel interested in people and I think it has something to do with this; I have only a few specific things I want from people, so not many people can fulfill those wants.

I have never had a desire for friends - too much like work. But I do like people and am friendly and social enough to have have short-term relationships. Coffee, the gym, a walk, whatever. But then I've had my fill and I stop. I never care if I ever see them again or not. Out of sight out of mind. Nice enough people or I wouldn't hang in the first place - I just don't get attached enough, and so find it kind of silly and a waste of time after a point.

There might be a bit of a point here in my case... I mean, I do talk about everyday stuff with my friends, but I've only ever really felt close to the ones that I've had shared interests with. But I don't think it's all that bad of a thing; NTs have friends they're closer with than some of their other friends too, right?

I can only speak for myself; I'm an autistic who happened to be asocial.

In terms of being asocial, it means I have little social interest and lesser to no social drive.
So yes, I can easily perceive having to maintain a relationship more of a job and obligation than a pleasure.
But this does not mean I don't appreciate, cherish or honor any bonds of relationships formed; to me, it's just a bonus that just happened to happened, yet not the whole point of interacting with anyone to start with.

There are no circumstances involved 'why'; my whole back story might as well be a socially driven autistics' dream come true or so I'd just assume.
Yet also despite the whole inclusiveness and having more than enough means, there's just something that no typical interactions and relationships could ever hope to reach.

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It's not very hard for me to meet people--but maintaining the connection requires too much focus and effort. The exception is when the other person and I share a major personal or professiobal interest. But even then the other person often ends up making most of the effort.

I was thinking. It is hard to switch on to subjects that are outside of my thinking sphere. Example. I am on, or look at about 8 internet sites. Maybe 12 at the most. I am actually on about 6. Now I never seem to go outside this. I have tried to enlarge my (Whatever the word is)... Enlarge my subject matter? Well. I just sat there for ages and ages with the search engine, and I had mind blank. I just could not think of a subject that was out of my narrow band of subjects that I usually liked to explore. I remember thinking to myself "Well, this is silly! I must think if something!" I just couldn't. Nothing was coming into my mind. Absolutely nothing. Mindblank! Unusual for me who seems to be always thinking. It was as if there was a wall in front of my mind somehow that I could not mentally see anything outside my special interest fields and a few associated areas. Yet, if I am prompted by an outside source... Like if someone mentions a some word which reminds me of something I can research I will be like "Oh yes" and I will look at it...
However, a subject outside my interests is mentally tough and heavy going, and the memories of what I have learned about it don't last that long. I will be able to retain them for a short time and then they have gone. (In school I used to have to re-learn things more then once in subjects that were outside my mental sphere. Languages? Forget it! Prehaps I will remember the odd word in Welsh as I see them often here in Wales, but to be honest, my English vocabulary is narrow enough and I have always spoken in it. I find that people learning English can follow what I write because I don't use complicated words).
Anyway... Yes. It does have an influence to how I am able to relate to others. However, the few friends I get close to do seem to be ones which the outside world may seem as a little "Odd" in that they are people on the fringes of society. I find the few people in my life that fit this catagory are real "Gems" and people I find interesting. I would say that they may be on the spectrum? I don't know. But I will say that even though society rejects them I value them. Now these individuals may or may not share my special interests. But there is something about them that I can connect with regardless of having these interests or not as the case may be.

I thought most people preferred to have friends who share the same interests as them, which is why I've often been rejected by my peers because of not having the same interests. For example when I was younger other girls didn't like me because I wasn't into their music or fashion style or anything like that. But I was willing to be friends with them regardless of interests. But they say, "we don't want to be friends with you because we don't have anything in common".

Yes maybe it was a shallow teenage girl thing to not be interested in me just because I didn't like the things they liked. All I wanted was friends to love and hang out with, regardless of interests.

Me and my boyfriend like completely different things but we are still compatible. He likes heavy rock music, I like country. He likes action movies, I like comedies and dramas. He hates shopping but likes drinking, I hate drinking but I love shopping. He plays Candy Crush, I play the Sims.

Yep, you don't have to like the same things to be in a relationship, and not liking the same things doesn't matter. Unless you're in quarantine together for weeks and months and can't go out and live your normal lives....